In addition to digital soundmaking with programing, piano, synthesizer, and over 20 effecters, they make illusional analog sounds which are also digital, by using many percussion sounds like glocken.
Yukino's voice surrounds all listeners' hearts softly along with those sounds.
A one tiny story is named "a short story."
A little boy's journey is about to start.
What Started The Vortex
Kanina Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Dwelling the hell hole too afraid to feel whole, lodging the gun of what-ifs
(What if I regret it midway? If they even deign to bear the pain)
So you told the whole world stoicism knowing youโฒre trudging of grudges from coeval pain
(What if I regret it midway?)
In refrain, youth is grant-wishing factory you ran missing, drained
(If they even deign to bear the pain)
Fleeing the suffering, shattering in knee-deep indeed
So what if your 19 years of living were only to breathe, biting your teeth?
Rebuffing past faux-pas, hereby you compile and you comply the pile to con play
After the revolution, it's junta, after you shun is the push I
I thought of jumping off seven stories building like the predecessor never before I
I wished, I wished I was raised encouraged to have the courage
Never stayed alive for myself
I carried this for years
Iโฒll carry this for years
Never stayed alive for myself
I carried this for years
I'll carry this for years
I feel like I'm winning
Am I waging the wrong war here?
(What if I regret it midway? If they even deign to bear the pain)
The lyrics to Kanina's song What Started The Vortex explore the difficult emotions and struggles that come with mental health and suicidal ideations. The first verse speaks to the fear that can come with these thoughts, the desire for it to end quickly and easily without facing the pain of the present. The next verse speaks to the pressure to appear stoic and strong despite internal struggles and how this pressure can further exacerbate negative emotions. The refrain includes the lines "never stayed alive for myself, I carried this for years, I'll carry this for years" which speaks to the ongoing battle one may face with mental health and the persistence of these struggles.
The bridge of the song discusses feeling like one is fighting the wrong battle, that the victory in staying alive may not feel like a victory at all. The lyrics "I wished I was raised encouraged to have the courage" speaks to the importance of support and encouragement when facing these challenges. Overall, the lyrics provide a poignant and honest depiction of the complexities of mental health struggles and the importance of support and self-compassion.
Line by Line Meaning
So you cowered like a coward wanting shortcuts to end it
You were too afraid to face your problems head-on and instead sought an easy way out.
Dwelling the hell hole too afraid to feel whole, lodging the gun of what-ifs
Your fear consumed you and prevented you from finding true happiness, instead leaving you with the constant worry of what could go wrong.
(What if I regret it midway? If they even deign to bear the pain)
Even as you tried to take action, you were still plagued with doubts and fears of the consequences.
So you told the whole world stoicism knowing youโฒre trudging of grudges from coeval pain
You tried to maintain a facade of being strong and unaffected by your past traumas, but deep down you were still struggling to move on.
(What if I regret it midway?)
Even as you put on a brave front and tried to take risks, you were still beset with doubts and worries about the future.
In refrain, youth is grant-wishing factory you ran missing, drained
As a young person, you were full of dreams and aspirations, but over time you lost sight of those goals and became lost and drained.
(If they even deign to bear the pain)
Despite your fears, you still wanted to take risks and make changes, but you were worried about how difficult it might be to endure the hardships that came with those choices.
Fleeing the suffering, shattering in knee-deep indeed
Your attempts to avoid pain and hardship only led to more suffering and left you feeling shattered and overwhelmed.
So what if your 19 years of living were only to breathe, biting your teeth?
You were questioning the value of your existence and wondering if you were simply alive to endure life's difficulties.
Rebuffing past faux-pas, hereby you compile and you comply the pile to con play
You were trying to move past mistakes and regrets from the past to create a better future for yourself, but it felt like a difficult and deceitful game.
After the revolution, it's junta, after you shun is the push I
You were feeling a sense of pressure to make changes and take action, but were unsure of what to do next or how to proceed.
I thought of jumping off seven stories building like the predecessor never before I
You felt overwhelmed by your problems and had even considered harming yourself as a way out.
I wished, I wished I was raised encouraged to have the courage
You wished that you had been taught to be brave and face your fears head on, rather than running away from them.
Never stayed alive for myself
You felt like you were just going through the motions of life, without any real purpose or direction.
I carried this for years
You had been carrying the weight of your fears and regrets for a long time, without finding a way to release that burden or move past it.
Iโฒll carry this for years
Despite your struggles, you knew that you would continue carrying this weight for a long time to come.
I feel like I'm winning
Despite everything, you were starting to feel a sense of hope and progress in your life.
Am I waging the wrong war here?
However, you were still questioning whether the path you were on was the right one for you, and whether you were truly making the right choices in life.
Writer(s): Kanina Ramaniya Kalyana, Muhammad Luthfi Adianto
Contributed by Annabelle V. Suggest a correction in the comments below.