Suicidal Thoughts
Kanye West & Notorious B.I.G Lyrics

Hello? Aw shit, nigga
The singer is startled by the phone call and is trying to figure out what's going on.

What the fuck time is it, man?
The singer is curious about the time and wants to make sure they aren't being bothered for no reason.

Oh goddamn, nigga
The singer is expressing frustration or annoyance at the situation.

Do you know what time it is?
The artist wants to know the time to make sure there's a valid reason for the call.

Aw shit, what the fuck's goin' on? You aight?
The artist is concerned about the person on the other end and wants to know what's happening.

Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?
The singer is getting frustrated with the other person and wants to know what's causing their behavior.

When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
The singer feels they are a terrible person and see no reason to try and go to heaven.

'Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
The artist does not see themselves as a good person and it's easily noticeable.

It don't make sense, goin' to heaven with the goodie-goodies
The artist doesn't think they deserve to go to heaven with the good people.

Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
The artist feels more comfortable dressing in black clothing rather than the typical white clothing associated with heaven.

God'll prob'ly have me on some real strict shit
The singer thinks that if they were to go to heaven, it would be very strict and regimented.

No sleepin' all day, no gettin' my dick licked
The artist is worried that their life in heaven would be boring and sexless.

Hangin' with the goodie-goodies, loungin' in paradise
The singer thinks that being surrounded by good people in heaven would be boring and unexciting.

Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice (You talkin' some crazy shit now, nigga)
The singer wants to live on the edge and do things that are considered wrong or dangerous.

All my life I been considered as the worst
The singer has consistently been seen as a bad person or troublemaker.

Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
The artist has a history of lying and stealing from their own mother.

Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
The artist has a long list of criminal activities they've been involved in.

I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion
The singer feels their mother regrets having them and would rather not have had them at all.

She don't even love me like she did when I was younger (Get a hold of yourself, nigga)
The singer feels that their mother doesn't love them as much as she once did, which is causing them emotional distress.

Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger
The artist recalls having to breastfeed as a way to relieve their hunger as a baby.

I wonder, if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
The artist wonders if their mother really cares about them and if she would be sad if they were to die.

Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
The artist acknowledges that they have been disrespectful and dishonest and is asking for forgiveness.

My baby mother's eight months, her little sister's two
The singer has a baby mother who's eight months pregnant and her younger sister is two years old.

Who's to blame for both of them? (Nah, nigga, not you)
The artist is questioning who is responsible for the two children and it's not necessarily their fault.

I swear to God I want to just slit my wrists and end this bullshit
The singer is feeling overwhelmed and wants to end their life as a means of escape.

Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit (Nigga, what the fuck?)
The singer is considering ending their life and has a gun to their head, which scares the person they're speaking to.

And squeeze until the bed's completely red (It's too late for this shit, man)
The singer is contemplating ending their life and leaving a mess on the bed.

I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddha head
The artist thinks that they're worthless and would be better off dead.

The stress is buildin' up, I can't, I can't believe (Yo, I'm on my way over there, man)
The artist is feeling very stressed and overwhelmed and their friend is on their way to try and help them.

Suicide's on my fuckin' mind, I wanna leave
The singer is strongly considering ending their life and can't stop thinking about it.

I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me
The singer feels like death is coming for them and they can't escape it.

But nah, you wouldn't understand (Nigga, talk to me please, man)
The artist thinks that the person they're speaking to wouldn't understand what they're going through and wants them to try and listen.

You see it's kinda like the crack did to Pookie in New Jack
The artist is comparing their situation to the character Pookie in the movie New Jack City, who becomes addicted to crack and can't stop.

Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back (Yo, I'ma call you when I get in the car)
The artist acknowledges that if they do end up ending their life, there's no way to come back from it.

Should I die on the train track like Ramo in Beat Street?
The singer is considering different ways to end their life, similar to how Ramo died in the movie Beat Street.

People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me (Ayo, where your girl at, man?)
The artist is cynical about people who will attend their funeral and pretend to miss them when they're gone.

My baby mama kiss me, but she glad I'm gone (Yo, put your girl on the phone, nigga)
The singer's baby mama is kissing their dead body, but in reality is glad they're no longer around.

She know me and her sister had somethin' goin' on
The singer confesses that they had a romantic relationship with their baby mama's sister and that's part of the reason for their negative feelings.

I reach my peak, I can't speak (Ayo, you listenin' to me, motherfucker?)
The singer is at their lowest point and is struggling to express themselves, despite the person on the other end trying to talk to them.

Call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak (Ayo, c'mon, nigga)
The artist wants their friend Chic to know that they're not in a good state of mind and their will to live is very weak.

I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin'
The artist is frustrated with people who constantly lie and with women who are always trying to get something from them.

Matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'
The singer doesn't want to talk anymore and is tired of their current situation.

(Ayo, Big, ayo, Big)
This is likely someone calling out to Notorious B.I.G., who collaborated with Kanye West on this song.

Please hang up, and try your call again
The end of the song features a recording that says the call has ended and the person should try again.

Please hang up, this is a recording
The same recording plays a second time to make sure the listener knows that the song has ended and they aren't still on the phone.