Suicidal Thoughts Runaway
Kanye West & Notorious B.I.G Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

Hello? Aw shit, nigga
What the fuck time is it, man?
Oh goddamn, nigga
Do you know what time it is?
Aw shit, what the fuck's goin' on? You aight?
Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?

When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
'Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
It don't make sense, goin' to heaven with the goodie-goodies
Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
God'll prob'ly have me on some real strict shit
No sleepin' all day, no gettin' my dick licked
Hangin' with the goodie-goodies, loungin' in paradise
Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice (You talkin' some crazy shit now, nigga)
All my life I been considered as the worst
Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion
She don't even love me like she did when I was younger (Get a hold of yourself, nigga)
Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger
I wonder, if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
My baby mother's eight months, her little sister's two
Who's to blame for both of them? (Nah, nigga, not you)
I swear to God I want to just slit my wrists and end this bullshit
Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit (Nigga, what the fuck?)
And squeeze until the bed's completely red (It's too late for this shit, man)
I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddha head
The stress is buildin' up, I can't, I can't believe (Yo, I'm on my way over there, man)
Suicide's on my fuckin' mind, I wanna leave
I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me
But nah, you wouldn't understand (Nigga, talk to me please, man)
You see it's kinda like the crack did to Pookie in New Jack
Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back (Yo, I'ma call you when I get in the car)
Should I die on the train track like Ramo in Beat Street?
People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me (Ayo, where your girl at, man?)
My baby mama kiss me, but she glad I'm gone (Yo, put your girl on the phone, nigga)
She know me and her sister had somethin' goin' on
I reach my peak, I can't speak (Ayo, you listenin' to me, motherfucker?)
Call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak (Ayo, c'mon, nigga)
I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin'
Matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'
(Ayo, Big, ayo, Big)





Please hang up, and try your call again
Please hang up, this is a recording

Overall Meaning

The opening lines of the song Suicidal Thoughts Runaway by Kanye West & Notorious B.I.G. are a conversation between two individuals, one of whom is clearly distressed and suicidal. The first individual is awoken by a phone call and is initially confused and disorientated until he realizes that the person on the other end of the line is in a state of crisis. The caller explains that he wants to go to hell when he dies as he views himself as a piece of shit and doesn't believe he deserves to go to heaven where the "goodie-goodies" reside. He expresses his desire to engage in violent and criminal pursuits rather than spend an eternity in paradise. The caller admits to being a liar, thief, and extortionist and implies that he has a lack of respect for himself and others. He talks about his mother and how he feels that she may wish she had never given birth to him. He also mentions his baby mama and her sister before lamenting about his willingness to end his life.


The lyrics vividly depict the caller's suicidal ideations and his despair and hopelessness. He feels like he is at the end of his rope and that death is the only way out. His use of violent imagery and profanity highlights the intensity of his emotions and his inability to cope with the challenges he is facing. The conversation between the two individuals ends abruptly with a recording asking the caller to try his call again. The song leaves a haunting impression on the listener, forcing them to confront the reality of mental illness and the desperation that can come with it.


Line by Line Meaning

Hello? Aw shit, nigga!
The singer is surprised by the call and the time, and curses in reaction.


What the fuck time is it, man?
The singer questions the time and is likely disoriented from the call.


Oh goddamn, nigga!
The singer expresses further surprise or frustration.


Do you know what time it is?
The artist reiterates their uncertainty about the time of the call.


Aw shit, what the fuck's goin' on? You aight?
The artist expresses concern for the person on the other end of the line, questioning if they are okay.


Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?
The singer is growing increasingly worried about the other person's behavior and is looking for an explanation.


When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
The singer doesn't value their life and is accepting of a negative afterlife.


'Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
The artist has a negative view of themselves and thinks it's obvious.


It don't make sense, goin' to heaven with the goodie-goodies
The artist doesn't feel they deserve a positive afterlife, as it seems paradoxical or unjust to be among 'good' people.


Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
The artist prefers a darker, more aggressive style rather than the typical 'angelic' presentation.


God'll prob'ly have me on some real strict shit
The singer anticipates a harsh punishment in the afterlife for their actions.


No sleepin' all day, no gettin' my dick licked
The artist mocks the idea of a positive afterlife, saying it won't include any pleasures.


Hangin' with the goodie-goodies, loungin' in paradise
The singer contrasts the stereotypical image of a good afterlife with what they actually want.


Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice (You talkin' some crazy shit now, nigga)
The singer wants to live a dangerous, 'gangsta' lifestyle, even in death, and may not be thinking rationally.


All my life I been considered as the worst
The singer has a negative reputation throughout their life.


Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
The artist has done unforgivable things like lying and stealing from a close family member.


Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
The artist has committed a series of illegal actions.


I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion
The singer believes their mother would have preferred they were never born.


She don't even love me like she did when I was younger (Get a hold of yourself, nigga!)
The singer believes their mother has lost love for them over time, and someone is trying to calm them down.


Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger
The artist reveals that they had a troubled childhood and perhaps was not fed enough as a baby.


I wonder, if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
The artist is wondering if their mother would care if they died.


Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
The artist is expressing remorse for their past wrongdoings.


My baby mother's eight months, her little sister's two
The singer has a child with someone and also had a relationship with their sibling.


Who's to blame for both of them? (Nah, nigga, not you)
The artist is being sarcastic and suggesting they are not responsible for the two girls' existence.


I swear to God I want to just slit my wrists and end this bullshit
The singer is contemplating suicide as a solution to their problems.


Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit (Nigga, what the fuck?)
The singer has a gun and is considering using it to harm themselves.


And squeeze until the bed's completely red (It's too late for this shit, man)
The singer is describing a violent suicide method and someone tries to stop them.


I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddha head
The artist is feeling so low and out of options that they are happy to die.


The stress is buildin' up, I can't— I can't believe (Yo, I'm on my way over there, man)
The artist is very distressed and someone is coming to help them.


Suicide's on my fuckin' mind, I wanna leave
The singer is seriously considering suicide as an option.


I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me
The singer feels like they are being summoned by death and have no choice but to obey.


But nah, you wouldn't understand (Nigga, talk to me please, man!)
The artist feels that no one understands how they feel and is being implored to communicate better.


You see it's kinda like the crack did to Pookie in New Jack
The artist is referencing a character from the movie New Jack City who became addicted to crack, likening their own situation to his.


Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back (Yo, I'ma call you when I get in the car)
The artist is saying that if they die, there's no hope of going back and someone else is offering to talk to them more later.


Should I die on the train track like Ramo in Beat Street
The singer references another movie character and a violent death scene as a way of imagining their own death.


People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me (Ayo, where your girl at, man?)
The artist thinks that people will pretend to care about them at their funeral but they won't actually be missed. The other person on the line is changing the subject.


My baby mama kiss me, but she glad I'm gone (Yo, put your girl on the phone, nigga!)
The singer's baby mama kissed him but is actually happy he's dead. The other person wants to speak to someone else on the phone.


She know me and her sister had somethin' goin' on
The singer was having an affair with his baby mama's sister.


I reach my peak, I can't speak (Ayo, you listenin' to me, motherfucker?)
The singer has reached a breaking point and has trouble articulating themselves. The other person is trying to get their attention.


Call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak (Ayo, c'mon, nigga)
The artist is telling someone to call a friend and tell them they are not feeling strong willed right now.


I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin'
The artist is tired of being lied to and taken advantage of by people.


Matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'
The singer is done talking and has given up trying to communicate their feelings.


(Ayo Big! Ayo Big!)
The other person yells at someone named 'Big.'


Please hang up, and try your call again
The recording at the end of the song suggests ending the call and trying again later.


Please hang up, this is a recording
The recording reiterates that the conversation is over and that it's not a real person on the other end of the line anymore.




Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Peermusic Publishing
Written by: Christopher Wallace, Robert Hall

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

@xxtbacon200

Still bumping this. And still get chills when “Whos to blame for both of them” and “look at ya” line up perfectly with each other. Seriously one of the greatest mash ups ever made

@se7enei8htnin97

Lol ur pfp

@StoneTheCr0w

It's "who got chya??" Meaning, who got you shot?

@Mutantman02

@@StoneTheCr0wno, it’s “ look at ya “. The official lyrics say so

@anthonyrodriguez8520

Still a bump 😤

@onyxxbabe6291

Samee. Also the end when the gun goes off and the phone call ends....megaa chills lol...but bumpin still thoo

1 More Replies...

@boboikiko

ONE OF THE BEST MASHUPS I HAVE HEARD!

@davidgriffith216

THE best mashup

@rozycuster5032

G vtik taken. Just j.u6u😘and

@daviobalburdia

If not THE BEST

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