In 2007 she was part of Damon Albarn’s team producing the score for his Monkey: Journey To The West opera and toured the USA with Philip Glass as oboeist in The Book Of Longing. 2009-2010 she co produced and played on Kathryn Williams’s album The Quickening and is a member of Marianne Fatihfull’s live band.
In 1992 Kate started her association with the All Saints record label as a composer, player and singer. This resulted in The Familiar, a collaborative album with pianist and composer Roger Eno. She and Roger then joined up with Bill Nelson and Laraaji to form the eclectic, avant-garde collective Channel Light Vessel who released two improvisational albums, Automatic and Excellent Spirits.
In 1995 Kate’s first solo album, Indescribable Night, came out. Produced by her and French composer Joseph Racaille it featured her singing, playing, compositions and arrangements
J'attendrai
Kate St. John Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Killing my flesh like I put on a hit list
Dodging temptation like I was gymnast
Lookin' back on my life I just wish I had listened
Aye
What you thought, you was changing my vision
Look to God, He gon' hold my attention
Heaven feast tryna make an attendanceBorn on the Earth but that's not where I'm headed
I just need peace, I don't need the wok
This baggage hold weight, luggage finna drop
Wanna slide to the crib, sign say stop
Ain't falling in nun, my opps they steady watching
Father cleaned up my sin, I don't need a mop
Luci ran into J, know he outta luck
Changing my mental, Holy Spirit touch
Cause His blood, know that it's enough
When you hop in the Bible, no more suicidal
That's something my God gon fix
When you ask where the love, and ain't nobody there
Promise you ain't alone in this
Say it's cheap to talk
So I can't crease on these J's but I walk
Calling me Creed in my brain fighting thoughts
I just hope that my Father is proud while He watch
like
I ain't got relations w the old me
Ain't gon' lie it be times it get lonely
But I'ma follow what showed me
Trinity what I trust in solely
Asking me where did I get this glow up
God changed pieces of me when he showed up
Took my life back for God like they owed sum
When you up that's when the fakes finna show loveI just need peace, I don't need the wok
This baggage hold weight, luggage finna drop
Wanna slide to the crib, sign say stop
Ain't fallin' in nun, my opps they steady watching
Father cleaned up my sin ion need a mop
Luci ran into J, know he outta luck
Changing my mental, Holy Spirit touch
Cause His blood, know that it's enough
When I said it, I meant it
Killing my flesh like I put on a hit list
Dodging temptation like I was gymnast
Lookin' back on my life I just wish I had listened
Aye
What you thought, you was changing my vision
Look to God he gon' hold my attention
Heaven feast tryna make an attendance
Born on the Earth but that's not where I'm headed
Cause His blood, know that it's enough, yeah
In the lyrics of "J'attendrai" by Kate St. John, the themes of personal struggle, spiritual redemption, and the quest for peace are palpably woven throughout. The opening lines suggest a decisive commitment to transformation and introspection. The singer acknowledges a painful struggle with temptation and the weight of past choices, comparing the challenge to physically dodging obstacles like a gymnast. This metaphor highlights the agility and effort required to navigate life’s pitfalls. Furthermore, the artist reflects on past experiences, wishing for the wisdom to have “listened” more carefully in moments of choice. Here, there is an acknowledgment of a deeper bitter realization — that growth often comes through hardship and the desire for self-awareness.
The verse subtly shifts towards a discussion of faith and divine guidance as the singer actively seeks a reorientation of their life’s focus. They declare that God is the ultimate source of their vision and clarity, implying that reliance on Him is paramount to overcoming life’s challenges. The recurring theme of seeking peace over worldly desires is captured succinctly in the line, “I just need peace, I don’t need the wok," where "wok" can symbolize the chaotic noise of modern life or superficial distractions. The imagery of “baggage” emphasizes the weight of unresolved issues and sin that the singer wishes to jettison. The mention of watching for “opps” — opponents or antagonists in life — conveys a sense of vigilance as the singer seeks to maintain their newfound direction amidst external judgments or temptations.
The biblical references throughout the song, including terms like “Holy Spirit” and the mention of “His blood," starkly evoke themes of salvation and spiritual cleansing. The singer's feelings of being watched and judged also connect with the intensity of their guardian relationship with God, suggesting a healing journey that is profoundly personal. The recurring assurance, “His blood, know that it’s enough,” underscores a powerful mantra of faith, expressing that the singer finds completeness and acceptance in their spirituality. This journey is characterized by moments of vulnerability as the artist admits to the loneliness that often accompanies transformation. Nevertheless, the trust in the Trinity signifies a deeper reliance upon faith, suggesting that the comfort of divine love supersedes earthly companionship.
Ultimately, "J'attendrai" is an anthem of perseverance and self-affirmation against a backdrop of spiritual awakening. The artist's reflections about their past and the desire to shed old habits point toward a narrative of reclamation — reclaiming not only their identity but also the joy that comes from living authentically according to God’s will. The contrasts drawn through references of visibility, such as “glow up” and the appearance of “fakes,” serve to highlight the authenticity that comes with divine enlightenment compared to the superficiality often encountered in societal relationships. In essence, the lyrics encapsulate a journey towards inner peace, the desire for spiritual authenticity, and the realization that through faith, one can navigate the complexities of life with renewed purpose and gratitude.
Line by Line Meaning
When I said it, I meant it
Every declaration I've made carries weight and sincerity.
Killing my flesh like I put on a hit list
I'm actively suppressing my desires and impulses as if they were targets to eliminate.
Dodging temptation like I was gymnast
I'm skillfully avoiding temptations with agility and precision, just like a gymnast navigating obstacles.
Lookin' back on my life I just wish I had listened
Reflecting on my past, I regret not being more receptive to wisdom and guidance.
Aye
A casual acknowledgment, perhaps signifying agreement or emphasis.
What you thought, you was changing my vision
You might have believed you could alter my perspective, but it turns out you couldn't.
Look to God, He gon' hold my attention
I focus my thoughts on God, who captivates my interest and guides me.
Heaven feast tryna make an attendance
I aim to partake in the divine blessings and joy that Heaven offers.
Born on the Earth but that's not where I'm headed
Although I'm physically present in this life, my ultimate destination lies beyond this world.
I just need peace, I don't need the wok
I seek tranquility and serenity rather than the chaos or pressure of worldly pursuits.
This baggage hold weight, luggage finna drop
The burdens I've been carrying are substantial, and I'm ready to let them go.
Wanna slide to the crib, sign say stop
I desire to return home, but external obstacles are preventing me.
Ain't falling in nun, my opps they steady watching
I'm not allowing myself to be trapped or distracted, as my adversaries are consistently observing my moves.
Father cleaned up my sin, I don't need a mop
God has absolved my wrongdoings; there's no need for me to dwell on them.
Luci ran into J, know he outta luck
A spiritual confrontation occurred, leaving evil forces in a powerless situation.
Changing my mental, Holy Spirit touch
My mindset is transforming thanks to the influence of the Holy Spirit.
Cause His blood, know that it's enough
The sacrifice made for me holds complete sufficiency to redeem and strengthen me.
When you hop in the Bible, no more suicidal
Engaging with the scriptures brings hope and dispels thoughts of despair.
That's something my God gon fix
God is capable of restoring what is broken within me.
When you ask where the love, and ain't nobody there
In moments of loneliness, when the search for love feels futile, it's important to remember support is still present.
Promise you ain't alone in this
I assure you that you are not navigating these struggles by yourself.
Say it's cheap to talk
People often consider mere words to lack substance or value.
So I can't crease on these J's but I walk
I can't afford to stumble or falter in my journey; instead, I stride confidently.
Calling me Creed in my brain fighting thoughts
I refer to myself as strong and principled while battling internal conflicts.
I just hope that my Father is proud while He watch
I desire to live in a way that brings pride to God as He observes my actions.
like
A casual interjection, preparing to emphasize the following statement or feeling.
I ain't got relations w the old me
I no longer identify with or hold connections to the person I once was.
Ain't gon' lie it be times it get lonely
I won't deny that there are moments when I experience solitude.
But I'ma follow what showed me
I have decided to pursue the path revealed to me, regardless of loneliness.
Trinity what I trust in solely
My faith is firmly anchored in the Holy Trinity, above all else.
Asking me where did I get this glow up
Curious individuals inquire about the transformation and improvements in my life.
God changed pieces of me when he showed up
When God manifested in my life, He initiated profound changes within me.
Took my life back for God like they owed sum
I reclaimed my life with the understanding that it was meant to serve God's greater purpose.
When you up that's when the fakes finna show love
In times of success, insincere people often emerge to express affection or interest.
I just need peace, I don't need the wok
I prioritize finding inner calm over engaging in the tumultuous challenges of life.
This baggage hold weight, luggage finna drop
The emotional burdens I've carried are heavy, and I'm ready to release them.
Wanna slide to the crib, sign say stop
I yearn to return to a place of comfort, yet there are barriers in the way.
Ain't fallin' in nun, my opps they steady watching
I am not allowing myself to be caught up in distractions, as my enemies are always vigilant.
Father cleaned up my sin ion need a mop
God has already forgiven my shortcomings; I no longer need to dwell on them.
Luci ran into J, know he outta luck
There was a spiritual conflict that rendered the forces of evil powerless.
Changing my mental, Holy Spirit touch
My way of thinking is evolving due to the influence of the Holy Spirit.
Cause His blood, know that it's enough
The sacrifice and grace offered by God is sufficient for all redemptive needs.
When I said it, I meant it
All my words are rooted in truthfulness and carry significant meaning.
Killing my flesh like I put on a hit list
I am deliberately battling my earthly desires as though they were adversaries I must defeat.
Dodging temptation like I was gymnast
I expertly evade temptations with the agility and skill reminiscent of a gymnast.
Lookin' back on my life I just wish I had listened
In hindsight, I wish I had paid more attention to wise advice throughout my life.
Aye
A simple affirmation, establishing a casual tone.
What you thought, you was changing my vision
You may have believed you could alter my perspective, but that was a misconception.
Look to God, He gon' hold my attention
I choose to fix my gaze on God, as He is the one who commands my focus.
Heaven feast tryna make an attendance
I aspire to be present at the divine celebration offered in Heaven.
Born on the Earth but that's not where I'm headed
While I exist in this physical realm, my true journey lies elsewhere, beyond this life.
Cause His blood, know that it's enough
The sacrifice made for humanity is all-encompassing and adequate in its purpose.
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid
Written by: Jonathan Ferjuste
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind