Kathy lives in San Leandro, CA in a commune and is the mother of Michael (1970-1982), Melanie (1972) and twins Nicolas and Cassandra (1985). Her primary life partner Dean Dierschow (familiar as her most devoted roadie) lives there with her in a wonderful ongoing courtship. She was very involved in the antiwar movement in the sixties and sang in Kansas City for the first Moratorium. She has appeared as filk GOH at almost every filk convention and many regular SF conventions as well.
Pegasus Awards
* 1989 - Best Filk Song - Arafel's Song (Tree of Swords & Jewels) (With Mercedes Lackey)
* 1989 - Best Writer/Composer
* 1991 - Best Love Song - Velveteen
* 1993 - Best Writer/Composer
* 1994 - Best Filk Song - Drink Up the River
* 1996 - Best Filk Song - When Giants Walked
* 2004 - Best Writer/Composer
Albums
* Songbird - Off Centaur (cassette OCP-??) 1982
* On a Bright Wind - Off Centaur (cassette OCP-??) 1984
* Bamboo Wind - Off Centaur (cassette OCP-54) 1985
* Plus Ca Change - Thor Records (cassette FK1003) 1988
* Plus C'est La Mme Chose - Thor Records (cassette FK1006) 1990
* Made By Magic - with Zander Nyrond, Dandelion Digital CD DD-005CD, 1994
* My Favorite Sings - Prometheus Music CD, 1999
* Plus Ca Change / Plus C'est La Mme Chose - DragonsGate Music CD 2000
Ice
Kathy Mar Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
How you can write such tender songs and wear that diamond shell
I see it happen far too much in this bleak world of ice
That those of us once burned by touch do not attempt it twice
Standing straight and forward on the fortress of the stage
You etch emotion on my heart, and turn another page
And though the songs are warm enough they never melt the snow
I know it doesn't matter, but I like you best without
The shards of ice that pull and prod and tear your feelings out
The glitter of your witty words that only slips away
Each time a spotlight melts your heart, and you begin to play
One day will it happen when I least expect it to
That ices will creep up on me and turn my feelings blue
And crystallize the patterns of my dealings with my friends
Is that the way this journey I am taking always ends
Verse 1
Words and music: Kathy Mar
Copyright 1982 Kathy Mar
The song "Ice" by Kathy Mar is a melancholic reflection on the emotional defenses people develop after being hurt in the past. Mar addresses a friend, acknowledging that she understands why he chooses to present himself as emotionally detached, despite his ability to write tender songs. She describes the world as "bleak" and suggests that once someone has been burned, they are hesitant to try again.
Mar admires her friend's ability to perform with emotion and connect with her through his music, but laments that even the warmest songs cannot melt the snow in his eyes when he steps offstage. She wishes that her friend could remove the "shards of ice" that prevent him from being vulnerable and suggest that his cleverness fades away when he plays.
In the final verse, Mar considers whether she, too, will eventually become frozen and emotionally distant. The song suggests that while pain may cause people to build up emotional defenses, they may also come to regret closing themselves off from others.
Overall, "Ice" is a poignant song that explores the complex emotions surrounding trust, vulnerability, and emotional trauma.
Line by Line Meaning
Oh, my friend, I must admit I understand too well
I empathize with you, my friend.
How you can write such tender songs and wear that diamond shell
I notice how you can write about vulnerable topics while maintaining a tough exterior.
I see it happen far too much in this bleak world of ice
I observe this behavior happening all too often in the cold, harsh world we live in.
That those of us once burned by touch do not attempt it twice
People who have been emotionally hurt in the past are often hesitant to open up again.
Standing straight and forward on the fortress of the stage
You project strength and confidence while performing for your audience.
You etch emotion on my heart, and turn another page
Your music evokes deep emotions in me and helps me grow as a person.
And though the songs are warm enough they never melt the snow
Even though your songs are comforting, they can't completely thaw the coldness in the world.
That gathers in your eyes each time that you step down to go
I notice sadness in your eyes every time you finish a performance and leave the stage.
I know it doesn't matter, but I like you best without
Even though this is a personal preference that doesn't change your value, I prefer when you are more vulnerable.
The shards of ice that pull and prod and tear your feelings out
Your emotional armor can become painful and damaging to your own feelings.
The glitter of your witty words that only slips away
Your humorous façade disappears when you are touched by real emotion.
Each time a spotlight melts your heart, and you begin to play
When you are moved by your own music, your defense mechanisms briefly lower.
One day will it happen when I least expect it to
I fear that I may build my own emotional barriers without realizing it.
That ices will creep up on me and turn my feelings blue
I worry that I may become emotionally hardened and detached from my own feelings.
And crystallize the patterns of my dealings with my friends
This emotional disconnect could permanently impact how I interact with those closest to me.
Is that the way this journey I am taking always ends
I wonder if this cycle of emotional openness and shut-down will always be a part of my life.
Contributed by Isaac L. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@lilianay7410
It's not so dark in the cave tonight
Just over here there's a crack of light
Tomorrow is the day
I heard the voices coming through the wall
They're digging for a brand new shopping mall
Just knocked off for the day
It's late at night and the stars are deep
I'm okay I don't need sleep
I've been sleeping for quite some time
I'm ready to dance with the devil's daughter
I don't need to walk on water
When I know that I can run on wine
There's voices humming through the ground
Spirits kick old bones around
The wind picks up again
The ocean roars, it's time to wait
The lion roars at heaven's gate
The forest people call my name
They call me names I never understood
I am the spirit of the wind and the wood
I am the name in the writing on the wall
I don't know when and I don't know how
But I do know I'm much stronger now
And I wouldn't have woke if I hadn't heard you call
I remember the day they put me here
The workmen wrapped in masks of fear
Slowly rolling in the stone
They nailed my hands to a rowan tree
They burned my body and they blinded me
And buried me here alone
Arthur kissed my bloodied eyes
Said "You will live and we will die
But you will harm nobody here"
Over his shoulder, high on the hill
I see her laughing, waiting still
The lovely Guinevere
Arthur cursed when he saw my smile
The sun went dark and the wind went wild
He put me in this place
For years I've slept in this holy park
Slowly healing in the dark
I can hardly wait to see that workman's face
@lilianay7410
It's not so dark in the cave tonight
Just over here there's a crack of light
Tomorrow is the day
I heard the voices coming through the wall
They're digging for a brand new shopping mall
Just knocked off for the day
It's late at night and the stars are deep
I'm okay I don't need sleep
I've been sleeping for quite some time
I'm ready to dance with the devil's daughter
I don't need to walk on water
When I know that I can run on wine
There's voices humming through the ground
Spirits kick old bones around
The wind picks up again
The ocean roars, it's time to wait
The lion roars at heaven's gate
The forest people call my name
They call me names I never understood
I am the spirit of the wind and the wood
I am the name in the writing on the wall
I don't know when and I don't know how
But I do know I'm much stronger now
And I wouldn't have woke if I hadn't heard you call
I remember the day they put me here
The workmen wrapped in masks of fear
Slowly rolling in the stone
They nailed my hands to a rowan tree
They burned my body and they blinded me
And buried me here alone
Arthur kissed my bloodied eyes
Said "You will live and we will die
But you will harm nobody here"
Over his shoulder, high on the hill
I see her laughing, waiting still
The lovely Guinevere
Arthur cursed when he saw my smile
The sun went dark and the wind went wild
He put me in this place
For years I've slept in this holy park
Slowly healing in the dark
I can hardly wait to see that workman's face
@reddir
Been a few years. I just realized that this is the song that started my focus toward filk music. It has become the genre I listen to most often these day.
@AirmidCelt
It's been years since my first listen and this song still sends shivers down my spine.
@alanbradbury7778
I know Kathy, who sings like an angel. This is her best-selling song, but not one she wrote. I'm thrilled to death to see her here and listen to her between SF conventions. Long live Kathy!
@MooglePower
What a fantastic singer! Can't believe I hadn't heard her before.
@reddir
I have to buy this. Beautiful song, and beautifully voiced.
Is the rest of her album this good? How do her other songs compare?
@eoppen
I heard this at my first Worldcon (LACon III), I believe. After Kathy was done singing, I RAN for the huckster room to buy the album!
@Phantomsbreath
This is the song I show people when I want to tell people what Filk can be. Haunting as hell.
@0oPerson
Lullaby from the album Finitys End is another really haunting song. So’s demon in the dark, tho this second song works a bit better if you’ve seen the Star Trek episode it’s based off of.
@winkleried
Always have loved this song since I first heard it many moon ago !