Maybe This Christmas
Katie Noonan & Tim Freedman Lyrics

It's Christmas time and Santa's here,
The holiday season has come, and Santa Claus is present.

Making the children smile
Children are happy to see Santa Claus.

But he's just a pedophile
The singer has a negative view of Santa Claus, likening him to a child predator.

So you better watch your child.
The singer warns parents to be careful with their children around Santa Claus.

Christmas trees in every house
There are Christmas trees in every home during the holiday season.

Covered in shiny lights
The trees are decorated with bright lights.

But they just turn brown and die,
Despite their festive decorations, the Christmas trees eventually wither and die.

Or set your whole house on fire
In extreme cases, the trees can even pose a fire hazard.

These are the reasons I hate the season, but I'm a give it a try.
The singer professes their dislike for the holiday season but will attempt to enjoy it nonetheless.

Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas
The singer hopes to avoid feeling melancholic during the holiday season.

Maybe I'll have a happy holiday.
The singer hopes to have an enjoyable time during the holiday season.

Replace my heartache and my pain,
The singer hopes to overcome their emotional distress and have a brighter outlook during the holidays.

With mistletoe and candy canes
The singer looks forward to enjoying traditional holiday treats and rituals like kissing under the mistletoe.

Having fun with all your friends,
The holidays are a time to enjoy oneself in the company of friends.

Sipping on that eggnog,
The singer anticipates indulging in seasonal beverages like eggnog.

But it just looks like jizz
The singer may find the appearance of eggnog off-putting or distasteful.

All over your upper lips.
The singer is likely referring to a milk mustache or residue from the beverage.

House made out of gingerbread
Gingerbread houses are a common holiday decoration and treat.

Cookies like Christmas trees
Cookies shaped like Christmas trees also serve as a festive treat.

Giving ya heart disease
The singer is referring to the unhealthy nature of many holiday treats and the potential health risks associated with consuming too many sweets.

And type 2 diabetes.
The singer specifically mentions a chronic health condition that can be caused by an unhealthy diet, potentially emphasizing the risks of indulging during the holiday season.

I've never seen reindeer fly
The singer has never witnessed a fantastical image associated with Christmas.

I've never heard the sleigh bells ring
The singer has never experienced a classic, festive holiday sound.

I've never seen a snowman come to life
The singer has never seen a classic image associated with Christmas spring to life in a magical or fantastical way.

I've never heard the angels sing
The singer has never witnessed an event that might be considered miraculous or meaningful.

But I hope, and I pray
Despite the singer's lack of firsthand experience, they still hold out hope for the holiday season.

That maybe this Christmas day
The singer looks forward to a potentially transformative holiday experience.

That'll change.
The singer hopes for a shift in perspective, mood, or experience during this holiday season.

Let's just dance the night away.
The singer suggests a lighthearted and carefree way to celebrate the holidays: by dancing with friends and loved ones.

This Christmas, is going my way.
The singer is optimistic about the potential for a positive holiday experience.