99 Problems
Kazet/Wezyr ft. Jay-Z Lyrics

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
If you are experiencing difficulties with a female companion, I empathize with your situation

I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one
I have many issues and worries, but a female companion is not one of them

I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
I have my security personnel looking out for any potential dangers

Foes that want ta make sure my casket's closed
There are individuals who aspire to bring me harm or even cause my demise

Rap critics that say he's "Money Cash Hoes"
Individuals who critique my music and claim I only rap about money, material items, and sexual partners

I'm from the hood, stupid?what type of facts are those?
Being from a disadvantaged area should not discredit my success or talent

If you grew up with holes in your zapatos
If you were raised in an underprivileged environment where resources such as shoes were scarce

You'd celebrate the minute you was having dough
You would be ecstatic once you finally earned a significant amount of money

I'm like "Fuck critics" you can kiss my whole asshole
I do not care for the opinions of music critics and feel disdain towards them

If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward?
If you dislike my music, you can skip over it

Got beef with radio if I don't play they show
I have a conflict with radio stations if they do not play my music

They don't play my hits, well, I don't give a shit, so
I am indifferent if my top songs are not played on the radio

Rap mags try and use my black ass
Magazines that specialize in rap music try to exploit my black heritage for profit

So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers
This allows for companies to pay for more advertisements in these rap magazines, which I find contemptible

I don't know what you take me as
I am unaware of how you perceive me

Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
You may not comprehend the level of intelligence I possess

I'm from rags to riches, niggas I ain't dumb
I was born in circumstances of poverty and experienced great success, I am not unintelligent

I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me
Although I have many concerns, a female companion is not one of them

Year's '94 and my trunk is raw
This event occurred in the year 1994 and my car trunk contains illegal narcotics

In my rear view mirror is the motherfucking law
I see police officers following me in my car's rearview mirror

I got two choices y'all, pull over the car or, hmm,
I have two options of either stopping my vehicle or taking drastic measures

Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor
I decide to accelerate my car at a high speed to escape the police

Now I ain't trying to see no highway chase with Jake
I do not want to partake in a car chase with the police

Plus I got a few dollars I could fight the case
I have enough money to hire a lawyer and fight any legal charges that may arise from this incident

So I, pull over to the side of the road
I decide to stop my vehicle and comply with the police officers

I heard "Son, do you know why I'm stopping you for?"
One of the police officers asks me if I am aware of why they pulled me over

Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low
I assume that they pulled me over because of my young age, race, and low position of my hat

Or do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know
I express uncertainty towards why they stopped me, I cannot read their minds

Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo?
I am unsure if I am being arrested or if there is more to the situation

"Well you was doing fifty-five in the fifty-four", uh huh
One of the police officers informs me that I was driving one mile above the speed limit

"License and registration and step out of the car
The police request for my driver's license, registration, and for me to exit the vehicle

"Are you carrying a weapon on you, I know a lot of you are"
The police inquiry if I have any weapons on my person due to previous experiences with individuals who did have weapons

I ain't stepping out of shit, all my papers legit
I refuse to comply with the police request to step out of the car, however, my documents and paperwork are in order

"Well do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?"
The police ask if they can perform a search of my vehicle

Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk and the back
I inform the police that both the glove compartment and trunk of my vehicle are locked

And I know my rights so you goin' need a warrant for that
I assert that my constitutional rights require a warrant for the police to search my car

"Aren't you sharp as a tack? You some type of lawyer or something?
The police officers are surprised by my knowledge of my constitutional rights and question if I am a lawyer

"Somebody important or something?"
The police further inquire if I am a person of importance or significance

Child, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit
I am not a licensed lawyer, but I possess some knowledge concerning my legal rights

Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
I have enough knowledge to prevent the police from conducting an illegal search of my vehicle

"Well we'll see how smart you are when the K-9 come"
One of the police officers threatens to bring a K-9 unit to my vehicle to perform a search

Now once upon a time not too long ago
This is a story of a recent event that occurred

A nigga like myself had to strong arm a ho
I, an African American male, was forced to use physical force against a woman

This is not a ho in the sense of having a pussy
The term 'ho' in this context does not refer to a promiscuous woman

But a pussy having no goddamn sense try and push me
It is an individual, whether male or female, who is being foolish and attempting to cause me trouble

I tried to ignore 'em, talk to the Lord
I attempted to avoid the situation and speak to a higher power

Pray for 'em, cause some fools just love to perform
I prayed for the foolish individual, as some individuals enjoy putting on a spectacle

You know the type, loud as a motorbike
It is a specific type of individual that is often disruptive and noisy

But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
This individual does not possess the ability nor the courage to engage in physical altercations

The only thing that's goin' happen is I'ma get to clapping and
If provoked, I will most likely resort to using firearms

He and his boys goin' be yapping to the captain
The individual, along with his companions, will inform the authorities of my actions

And there I go trapped in the Kit Kat again
I am once again stuck in a difficult situation

Back through the system with the riff raff again
I am once again subjected to the legal system and its unpleasant processes

Fiends on the floor scratching again
Drug addicts are scouring and scratching the ground in search of drugs

Paparazzi's with they cameras, snapping them
Paparazzi photographers are present with their cameras, taking photos of the events that have transpired

D.A. tried to give a nigga shaft again
The district attorney is attempting to take advantage of me again

Half a mil for bail cause I'm African
The bail for my release from jail is significantly high due to my African American ethnicity

All because this fool was harassing them
The root of my legal troubles originated from the foolish individual who was pestering me

Trying to play the boy like he's saccharine
The individual was trying to deceive and manipulate me through sweet talk and flattery

But ain't nothing sweet 'bout how I hold my gun
I am not lenient nor kind when it comes to the handling of my firearms

I got ninety nine problems being a bitch ain't one, hit me
Despite my many concerns and issues, a female companion is not one of them

Having girl problems I feel bad for you son
If you are experiencing difficulties with a female companion, I empathize with your situation

I got ninety nine problems and a bitch ain't one
I have many issues and worries, but a female companion is not one of them

You're crazy for this one, Rick, it's your boy
This is a great and crazy song, Rick, and it is my creation