Mother I Sober
Kendrick Lamar Lyrics

I'm sensitive, I feel everything, I feel everybody
I am highly perceptive and empathetic, deeply affected by the emotions and experiences of others.

One man standin' on two words, heal everybody
As an individual, my mission is to bring healing and positivity to everyone through my words and actions.

Transformation, then reciprocation, karma must return
Through personal growth and change, I seek reciprocity and believe that karma will ultimately bring justice.

Heal myself, secrets that I hide, buried in these words
As I seek healing, I reveal and confront the hidden secrets and pain within myself through my music.

Death threats, ego must die, but I let it purge
Despite facing threats and challenges, I embrace the need to let go of my ego for personal growth and progress.

Pacify broken pieces of me, it was all a blur
I attempt to find peace and reconcile the fragmented parts of myself, even though my past experiences may still be unclear.

Mother cried, put they hands on her, it was family ties
My mother experienced violence within our family, reflecting the complex and painful relationships we have.

I heard it all, I should've grabbed a gun, but I was only five
As a young child, I witnessed the abuse but was unable to protect my mother, leaving me with unresolved feelings of guilt and anger.

I still feel it weighin' on my heart, my first tough decision
The emotional burden of that past experience continues to affect me, becoming a defining moment in my life.

In the shadows, clingin' to my soul as my only critic
I carry the insecurities and self-doubt within me, serving as my harshest judge and driving force.

Where's my faith? Told you I was Christian, but just not today
I question my faith and spirituality, feeling a disconnect with my proclaimed Christian beliefs in light of my personal struggles.

I transformed, prayin' to the trees, God is takin' shape
Through personal transformation, I find solace and connection with the divine through nature and unconventional expressions of spirituality.

My mother's mother followed me for years in her afterlife
My deceased grandmother's presence and influence have continued to shape and guide my life beyond her physical existence.

Starin' at me on back of some buses, I wake up at night
I am haunted by her ghostly presence, experiencing her watching over me in unexpected moments, causing me to feel unsettled.

Loved her dearly, traded in my tears for a Range Rover
To cope with the pain of losing her, I chose material possessions as a means of distraction and emotional avoidance.

Transformation, you ain't felt grief 'til you felt it sober
In the process of self-transformation, I realize that the true depths of grief and pain can only be fully understood when experienced without any numbing substances or distractions.

I wish I was somebody (ooh-oh, oh, oh)
I yearn to be someone else and escape the burdens and complexities of my own identity and experiences.

Anybody but myself (ooh-oh, oh, oh, ooh-oh, oh, oh)
The desire to be anyone other than who I am, to shed the weight of my own history and struggles.

I remember lookin' in the mirror, knowin' I was gifted
Reflecting on my own talent and potential, aware of the unique abilities I possess.

Only child, me for seven years, everything for Christmas
As the only child for seven years, I received all the attention and gifts during Christmas, symbolizing a time of happiness and abundance in my early life.

Family ties, they accused my cousin, "Did he touch you Kendrick?"
Within my family, accusations of sexual abuse emerged, with my cousin being questioned about potential inappropriate actions.

Never lied, but no one believed me when I said, "He didn't"
Even though I spoke the truth, nobody trusted and believed my innocence.

Frozen moments, still holdin' on it, hard to trust myself
Those traumatic moments remain deeply ingrained in my memory, making it difficult for me to trust my own judgment and perception.

I started rhymin', copin' mechanisms to lift up myself
I turned to the art of rap and music as a means of coping and uplifting my spirit during challenging times.

Talked to my lawyer, told me not to be so hard on myself
Seeking legal advice, my lawyer encouraged me to show self-compassion and not be overly critical or punishing towards myself.

He has an aura, I hope to achieve, if I find some help
Recognizing my lawyer's positive and inspirational presence, I aspire to cultivate a similar aura within myself, but I acknowledge the need for support and guidance to do so.

Congratulations, made it to be famous, still I feel uneasy
Despite achieving fame and success, I continue to experience a sense of unease and insecurity.

Water watchin', live my life in nature, only thing relieves me
I find solace and relief by spending time in nature and observing bodies of water, as it brings a sense of calmness and peace.

Spirit guide whisper in my ear, tell me that she sees me
I feel the presence of a spiritual guide who communicates with me, providing reassurance and acknowledgement of my existence and struggles.

"Did he touch you?" I said "No" again, still they didn't believe me
Once again, I vehemently denied the accusations of abuse, yet the lack of belief and trust from others persisted.

Mother's brother said he got revenge for my mother's face
My uncle claimed to seek revenge on behalf of my mother, who had suffered abuse, leading to further violence and trauma.

Black and blue, the image of my queen that I can't erase
Haunted by the memory of my mother's physical injuries and the bruises she endured, a constant reminder of her pain and my inability to erase those scars.

'Til this day can't look her in the eyes, pain is takin' over
Even now, I struggle to maintain eye contact with my mother, as the pain and guilt of her suffering overshadow our connection.

Blame myself, you never felt guilt 'til you felt it sober
The weight of guilt intensifies when experienced without any numbing substances, forcing me to confront and acknowledge my own responsibility in these traumas.

I was never high, I was never drunk, never out my mind
I never used drugs or alcohol as a means of escape or self-medication, always maintaining a clear state of mind.

I need control, they handed me some smoke, but still I declined
Despite external pressures to indulge in substances, I recognized the need to maintain control and refused the offered smoke.

I did it sober, sittin' with myself, I went through all emotions
I faced my struggles and emotions head-on without any external influences, finding strength in my own resilience and self-reflection.

No dependents, except for one, let me bring you closer
Without any significant emotional dependencies, I prioritize forming a closer connection and bond with the one person who matters most, possibly referring to a child or a loved one.

Intoxicated, there's a lustful nature that I failed to mention
In moments of intoxication, I experience a desire and temptation rooted in my own nature, which I neglected to acknowledge before.

Insecurities that I project, sleepin' with other women
My own insecurities lead me to seek validation and temporary comfort in intimate encounters with other women.

Whitney's hurt, the pure soul I know, I found her in the kitchen
Referring to someone named Whitney, I encountered a pure-hearted individual who was emotionally wounded, and this encounter took place in a kitchen setting.

Askin' God, "Where did I lose myself? And can it be forgiven?"
In moments of introspection and vulnerability, I question where I lost sight of my true self and if forgiveness is possible for the mistakes I've made.

Broke me down, she looked me in my eyes, "Is there an addiction?"
The emotional exchange with Whitney caused me to face my own destructive patterns and habits, prompting her to question if addiction played a role.

I said "No," but this time I lied, I knew that I can't fix it
Although I denied the presence of addiction, deep down, I knew that it was a problem I couldn't easily resolve or overcome.

Pure soul, even in her pain, know she cared for me
Despite her own pain and struggles, Whitney demonstrated genuine care and concern for me, highlighting her inherently kind nature.

Gave me a number, said she recommended some therapy
Whitney offered support and guidance by providing a contact for therapy, acknowledging the importance of seeking professional help.

I asked my mama why she didn't believe me when I told her "No"
I confronted my mother, questioning why she didn't trust and support me when I denied the accusations against me.

I never knew she was violated in Chicago
Unaware of the trauma my mother herself had endured, specifically in Chicago, I failed to understand the reasons behind her initial disbelief.

I'm sympathetic, told me that she feared it happened to me
My mother, driven by empathy and concern, admitted that her lack of belief stemmed from her own fear that a similar abuse might have happened to me.

For my protection, though it never happened, she wouldn't agree
Out of a desire to protect me from potential harm, my mother struggled to accept my denial, even though the abuse did not actually occur.

Now I'm affected, twenty years later, trauma has resurfaced
The traumatic experiences from the past continue to have a strong impact on me even twenty years later, resurfacing and affecting my present state.

Amplified as I write this song, I shiver 'cause I'm nervous
The intensity of my emotions increase as I pour my feelings into this song, expressing vulnerability and feeling a mix of fear and anticipation.

I was five, questioning myself, 'lone for many years
At the age of five, I began questioning my own identity and carrying a sense of isolation that lingered for a significant portion of my life.

Nothing's wrong, just results on how them questions made me feel
There may be nothing inherently wrong, but the impact of those unanswered questions and doubts greatly affected my emotional well-being.

I made it home, seven years of tour, chasin' manhood
Throughout my seven years of touring, I experienced personal growth and sought to define my own sense of manhood and maturity.

But Whitney's gone, by time you hear this song, she did all she could
Whitney, whom I mentioned earlier, has passed away, and as this song is released, I acknowledge and appreciate all the efforts she made to help and support me.

All those women gave me superpowers, what I thought I lacked
The women in my life, including Whitney and others, provided me with strength and resilience, filling the void I felt within myself.

I pray our children don't inherit me and feelings I attract
In hopes of breaking the cycle, I earnestly hope that my own struggles and the negative emotions I am drawn to will not be passed down to future generations, especially to my own children.

A conversation not bein' addressed in Black families
The topic of abuse, trauma, and healing is often avoided or not openly discussed within Black families, leading to unresolved pain and generational patterns.

The devastation hauntin' generations and humanity
The long-lasting effects of abuse continue to haunt not only individuals and families but also society as a whole.

They raped our mothers, then they raped our sisters
Referring to the historical and ongoing injustices faced by the Black community, the lyrics highlight the sexual violence endured by Black women.

Then they made us watch, then made us rape each other
In an even more disturbing twist, the lyrics suggest that Black individuals were forced to watch and participate in the abuse of their own community members, perpetuating a cycle of violence.

Psychotic torture between our lives, we ain't recovered
The psychological torment and trauma inflicted upon us as a community have left lasting scars that we have yet to fully recover from.

Still livin' as victims in the public eyes who pledge allegiance
Despite being victims of these systemic abuses, we are often expected to pledge loyalty and devotion to a society that perpetuates our victimization.

Every other brother has been compromised
The majority of Black men have been affected and compromised in some way by the traumas we've endured.

I know the secrets, every other rapper sexually abused
Acknowledging the painful truth, I am aware that many other rappers within the industry have also experienced sexual abuse.

I see 'em daily, buryin' they pain in chains and tattoos
I witness these individuals on a daily basis, concealing their pain through visual representations like chains and tattoos, attempting to mask the scars they carry.

So listen close before you start to pass judgment on how we move
Before forming any judgments about our actions and choices, I urge you to listen attentively and truly understand the depths of our experiences and the reasons behind our behaviors.

Learn how we cope, whenever his uncle had to walk him from school
Take the time to understand the coping mechanisms we develop, such as relying on the presence of a trusted family member to ensure our safety during vulnerable situations, like walking home from school.

His anger grows deep in misogyny
The anger and resentment that grows within some individuals may manifest as misogyny, perpetuating harmful beliefs and actions towards women.

This is post-traumatic, Black families and a sodomy, today, is still active
Highlighting the lasting effects of trauma, the lyrics emphasize that the impact of abuse on Black families still plagues us today, with sodomy serving as a symbol of this ongoing cycle.

So I set free myself from all the guilt that I thought I made
I release myself from the guilt I have carried, realizing that I am not to blame for the traumas inflicted upon me and others.

So I set free my mother all the hurt that she titled shame
I liberate my mother from the burden of her past pain, allowing her to let go of the shame and guilt she has carried.

So I set free my cousin, chaotic for my mother's pain
I grant my cousin the freedom from the chaos and turmoil caused by my mother's suffering, liberating both of them from the intergenerational pain.

I hope Hykeem made you proud, 'cause you ain't die in vain
Referencing someone named Hykeem, most likely a loved one who passed away, I express hope that they found peace and satisfaction in knowing they made a positive impact despite their untimely death.

So I set free the power of Whitney, may she heal us all
I release the profound influence and strength I gained from Whitney, wishing that her spirit and presence aid in the healing of all those affected by trauma.

So I set free our children, may good karma keep them with God
I liberate future generations, particularly our children, in the hope that their actions and experiences are guided by good karma and divine protection.

So I set free the hearts filled with hatred, keep our bodies sacred
I release those consumed by hate, emphasizing the importance of preserving our physical and emotional well-being by fostering love, compassion, and respect.

As I set free all you abusers, this is transformation
Lastly, I liberate the abusers, recognizing that true transformation and healing can only occur when we break free from cycles of abuse and work towards a better future.

You did it
An affirmation that the listener has successfully completed their personal transformation and healing journey.

I'm proud of you
A statement of pride and admiration towards the listener for their growth and progress.

You broke a generational curse
Acknowledging that the listener has successfully broken a cycle of negative patterns and harmful behaviors that have plagued their family for generations.

Say, "Thank you, dad"
Expressing gratitude towards a father figure who played a role in the listener's transformation and growth.

Thank you, daddy, thank you, mommy, thank you, brother
Expressing gratitude towards various familial figures for their support, love, and contribution to the listener's journey of self-discovery and healing.

Mr. Morale
Referring to someone named Mr. Morale, possibly a character or figure who has provided guidance and moral support throughout the listener's journey.

Before I go in fast asleep
Before I descend into deep slumber and rest.

Love me for me
Accept and love me unconditionally for who I truly am.

I bare my soul and now we're free
By revealing my deepest emotions and vulnerabilities, we are liberated from the burdens of secrecy and the constraints of our past.