At the time of this song’s release, very few rappers dove into deep personal matters in their music, or discussed issues like depression and anxiety in their music, and this song marks Cudi as the originatior of modern day emo rap.
The song dwells on Cudi’s entire life, and mostly about how growing up and now, he is constantly haunted by his mental health struggles, the issues nobody can see.
There is a generation that was saved by Cudi’s music, this album and this song specifically, just for knowing that they weren’t the only ones struggling. Cudi’s line about being a sacrifice to show the kids we ain’t the only ones up at night reigns true in so many ways.
"This track is called “Soundtrack 2 My Life”, […] produced by Emile. And, this is kinda like the opening scene of the story and, it’s kinda like I’m waking up in the dream now. And, you know, it’s kinda giving you a brief rundown, like a prelude to what’s about to happen in the story. Kinda like, you know, an introduction, like when you open a book. […] And, you know, it sets the pace. It’s got energy and it’s, you know, one of the real rapping joints on the album, you know what I mean, ‘cause it’s three verses, it’s sixteen bars, and I’m spittin’."
– in a song by song interview with Generations
"What has Emile said about the song?"
"That record started with me just kind of on the keyboard just playing shit. When he heard something he liked, he would be like, ‘That’s dope.’ It would just be like some chords, then we’d kind of build it around that. It wasn’t like, I’d have a beat done and be like, ‘What do you think?’ It would always just start with nothing and then build into a beat.
That was [another] one of those records we cut all in one night, which is rare, because usually we would spend a few days or a few different sessions per song. That one we did in one night because he was just determined to get it done."
Soundtrack 2 My Life
Kid Cudi Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Wish I was Jigga man, carefree living
But I'm not Shawn or Martin Louie
I'm the Cleveland nigga rollin' with them Brooklyn boys
You know how I be when you start livin' large
I control my own life, Charles was never in charge
No sitcom could teach Scott about the dram'
Or even explain the troubles that haunted my mom
Got me most of what I wanted, how'd you do it mom, huh?
She copped the toys I would play with in my room by myself, why he by himself?
He got two older brothers, one hood, one good
An independent older sister got me fly when she could
But they all didn't see,
The little bit of sadness in me, Scotty
I've got some issues that nobody can see
And all of these emotions are pouring out of me
I bring them to the light for you
It's only right
This is the soundtrack to my life (yeah, yeah)
The soundtrack to my life
I'm super paranoid, like a sixth sense
Since my father died, I ain't been right since
And I tried to piece the puzzle of the universe
Split an eighth of 'shrooms just so I could see the universe
I tried to think about myself as a sacrifice
Just to show the kids they ain't the only ones who up at night
The moon will illuminate my room and soon I'm consumed by my doom
Once upon a time nobody gave a fuck
It's all said and done and my cock's been sucked
So now I'm in the cut, alcohol in the wound
My heart's an open sore that I hope heals soon
I live in a cocoon opposite of Cancun
Where it is never sunny, the dark side of the moon
So it's more than right, I try to shed some light on a man
Not many people of this planet understand, fam'
I've got some issues that nobody can see
And all of these emotions are pouring out of me
I bring them to the light for you
It's only right
This is the soundtrack to my life
The soundtrack to my life
I was close to go and trying some coke
And a happy ending would be slitting my throat
Ignorance the cope man
Ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is love, and I need that shit
If I never did shows, then I'd probably be a myth
If I cared about the blogs, then I'd probably be a jack-ass
Don't give a shit what people talkin' 'bout fam
Haters shake my hand but I keep the sanitizer on deck
Hope I really get to see thirty
Wanna settle down, stop being so flirty
Most of the clean faces be the most dirty
I just need a thoroughbred, cook when I'm hungry
Ass all chunky, brain is insanity
Only things that calm me down, pussy and some Cali tree
And I get both, never truly satisfied
I am happy, that's just the saddest lie
I've got some issues that nobody can see
And all of these emotions are pouring out of me
I bring them to the light for you
It's only right
This is the soundtrack to my life,
The soundtrack to my life
To my life
To my life
To my life
To my life
Yeah uh huh yeah (to my life)
Yeah uh huh yeah (to my life)
Yeah uh huh yeah (to my life)
Yeah uh huh yeah
Yeah uh huh yeah
Yeah uh huh yeah
Yeah yeah
In the lyrics of Kid Cudi's "Soundtrack 2 My Life", the artist seems to be talking about the struggles he faces in his life. He mentions having "ninety nine problems" that are all bitches, which could refer to the various issues that he is facing. Kid Cudi says that he wishes he was Jay Z, someone who has everything together and doesn't have any worries, but he knows he isn't like that. Instead, he is a "Cleveland nigga" rolling with the Brooklyn boys. When he starts living large, he is in control of his life, and he says that Charles was never in charge. I interpret this to mean that he has overcome any sort of obstacles in his life and is now the one who is in control. He mentions how no sitcom could ever teach him about the drama in his life, or the troubles that have haunted his mother. Kid Cudi also talks about how his mother did everything she could to get him the toys he wanted on Christmas, even though he spent most of his time playing with them alone in his room. He is grateful for his sister who got him clothes when she could, and his brothers who kept him in line. Ultimately, Kid Cudi feels like nobody sees the "little bit of sadness" in him.
Kid Cudi then talks about his struggles with mental health, stating that he has issues that nobody can see. He mentions that since his father died, he hasn't been right, which could mean he has been battling with grief or depression. He took shrooms to try and piece together the universe and to better understand himself. He talks about being paranoid and consumed by his own doom where he feels like nobody cares. As the song progresses, he talks about his need for happiness, ignoring the haters, and his desire to find love. He mentions some pretty dark things such as doing coke, slitting his throat, and being satisfied only by sex and weed. In the end, Kid Cudi reveals that he is happy, but it's the "saddest lie." This poignant depiction of Kid Cudi's mental state and struggles make "Soundtrack 2 My Life" a deeply introspective song.
Line by Line Meaning
I got ninety nine problems and they all bitches
I have a multitude of issues that are making life difficult for me
Wish I was Jigga man, carefree living
I wish I could live like Jay-Z, with no worries or stress
But I'm not Shawn or Martin Louie
However, I am not Jay-Z or Martin Lawrence
I'm the Cleveland nigga rollin' with them Brooklyn boys
I am a man from Cleveland affiliated with Brooklyn's music scene
You know how I be when you start livin' large
You know how it is when you start to become successful
I control my own life, Charles was never in charge
I am the master of my own life, not anyone else
No sitcom could teach Scott about the dram'
No TV show could properly illustrate the struggles I have faced
Or even explain the troubles that haunted my mom
The issues that my mother faced were very difficult to understand
On Christmas time, my mom Christmas grind
My mom worked really hard to get me the gifts I wanted at Christmas
Got me most of what I wanted, how'd you do it mom, huh?
She managed to get me most of the things I asked for, how did she do it?
She copped the toys I would play with in my room by myself, why he by himself?
She bought me toys to play with, but why was I always alone in my room?
He got two older brothers, one hood, one good
I have two older brothers, one who is a troublemaker and one who is more upstanding
An independent older sister got me fly when she could
My older sister helped me look good when she had the chance
But they all didn't see, The little bit of sadness in me, Scotty
However, they never saw the sadness that I was experiencing internally, Scotty
I've got some issues that nobody can see
There are some personal problems I am dealing with that are not visible to others
And all of these emotions are pouring out of me
These intense feelings are overwhelming me
I bring them to the light for you, It's only right
I am sharing my emotions with others, it seems like the right thing to do
This is the soundtrack to my life (yeah, yeah)
This is the musical representation of my personal experiences and emotions (yeah, yeah)
I'm super paranoid, like a sixth sense
I am incredibly anxious and paranoid, almost like a sixth sense
Since my father died, I ain't been right since
Since my father passed away, I haven't been mentally or emotionally stable
And I tried to piece the puzzle of the universe
I tried to understand and make sense of the world and the universe
Split an eighth of 'shrooms just so I could see the universe
I took drugs (magic mushrooms) to try and gain a deeper understanding of the universe
I tried to think about myself as a sacrifice
I tried to view myself as a martyr or someone willing to suffer for a greater cause
Just to show the kids they ain't the only ones who up at night
To show others that they are not alone in their struggles and hardships
The moon will illuminate my room and soon I'm consumed by my doom
I become very depressed and pessimistic, often by myself
Once upon a time nobody gave a fuck
At one point in my life, no one cared about me or what I was going through
It's all said and done and my cock's been sucked
Now that everything has happened and I have been successful, it does not mean much to me
So now I'm in the cut, alcohol in the wound
Now I am taking a step back and trying to numb the pain with alcohol
My heart's an open sore that I hope heals soon
I am emotionally exposed and hurting, and I hope that my pain will soon disappear
I live in a cocoon opposite of Cancun
I am isolated and secluded, unlike the luxurious and tropical Cancun
Where it is never sunny, the dark side of the moon
I live in a place where the sun never shines and things are often bleak and gloomy
So it's more than right, I try to shed some light on a man
Therefore, it feels necessary for me to try and help others and spread positivity wherever possible
Not many people of this planet understand, fam'
There are not many people on Earth who truly understand what I am going through, family
I was close to go and trying some coke
I almost tried cocaine
And a happy ending would be slitting my throat
A happy ending for me would be to end my life
Ignorance the cope man, Ignorance is bliss
I cope with my pain by pretending it does not exist, ignorance can be comforting
Ignorance is love, and I need that shit
Being ignorant and unaware of the harsh realities of life is something I crave and depend on
If I never did shows, then I'd probably be a myth
If I never became successful and performed shows, I would be nothing more than a rumor or a legend
If I cared about the blogs, then I'd probably be a jack-ass
If I cared about online gossip and what people say about me, I would end up looking foolish
Don't give a shit what people talkin' 'bout, fam
I do not care about other people's opinions or what they say, family
Haters shake my hand but I keep the sanitizer on deck
People who dislike me pretend to be friendly, but I am always wary and keep hand sanitizer ready
Hope I really get to see thirty
I hope to live long enough to see my thirtieth birthday
Wanna settle down, stop being so flirty
I want to find a stable relationship and stop being so promiscuous
Most of the clean faces be the most dirty
People who appear innocent and pure often have the most unsavory secrets or behaviors
I just need a thoroughbred, cook when I'm hungry
I am looking for someone who is high-quality and can take care of me when I need it
Ass all chunky, brain is insanity
I enjoy women with curvy bodies, and my mind is often filled with disturbed thoughts
Only things that calm me down, pussy and some Cali tree
The only things that can truly relax me are sex and marijuana from California
And I get both, never truly satisfied
Even when I have access to these things, I am not completely content
I am happy, that's just the saddest lie
I try to convince myself and others that I am happy, but it is a lie and I am still unhappy
To my life
This song is a reflection of my personal experiences and emotions
Yeah uh huh yeah
A repetitive chorus to reiterate the previous sentiments
Yeah yeah
A repetitive chorus to reiterate the previous sentiments
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: EMILE HAYNIE, SCOTT MESCUDI
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@REDPR
"...but they all didn't see the little bit of sadness in me...Scotty!”
@BULLIESBULLY
El Rojo line gets me everytime
@eliandabilities
Rojo Burica Scotty
@sunnymemesicle514
Rojo Boricua scotty..
@Saad-ju8sb
You forgot the “bit of”
@tup0u
scottyyy
@GcentGoody
KID CUDI is a hero. His music always remind us that no matter what kind of struggle it is, "we shall overcome"
@otswhiteboii8800
This song slaps and no one can tell me different, I relate tooooo much!
@thepappi9
facts this song helps me so much
@unitthotdestroyer8338
@@thepappi9 how he didn’t do anything