The nucleus of Killing Heidi was singer/songwriter Ella Hooper and her older brother, guitarist Jesse Hooper. They grew up in Violet Town, a small Victorian country town, with a population of approximately 2,000 where their parents worked as music and drama teachers.
They started jamming together at home; Ella singing while Jesse played the guitar. They played an acoustic gig together at the Violet Town Arts Festival in 1996, when Ella was 13 years old. Bent Records label owner and local record studio owner, Jamie Durrant, offered them some time in a studio with a couple of schoolmates as the rhythm section. They submitted these recordings into the Triple J Unearthed competition in 1996 and the track "Kettle" won the competition for their area of rural Victoria. "Kettle" was written by Ella Hooper; Brian Walton and Jessie Hooper added some guitar parts later.
The name "Killing Heidi" came from the band members generating two lists before their first gig; one filled with "soft" words, one with "harsh" words. Killing was chosen as the harsh, Heidi the soft. According to the band, the name basically means "the end of innocence".
Producer Paul Kosky who had worked with Crowded House, Rage Against the Machine, Kate Ceberano, and The Clouds was looking for a band to manage and sign to his new recording label Wah Wah Music. He decided to check out a very basic live performance by Killing Heidi. He developed the band from the ground up for the next two years working on songwriting, song structure and overall direction of the music. He became the manager of the band and arranged a contract with Roadshow Music (who had a contract with Savage Garden) for his label, Killing Heidi had also acquired a new rhythm section (which Kosky sourced and introduced to Killing Heidi) with Adam Pedretti (ex-Non-Intentional Lifeform) on drums and Warren Jenkin on bass. They recorded the rest of the first album in 1998.
Killing Heidi's first single "Weir" was released in August 1999 and reached #6 on the ARIA charts (and Platinum sales) by the end of 1999. The second single "Mascara", about self-image and individuality, was released in December 1999 and reached the top of the Australian charts on January 30th 2000, which was Ella's 17th birthday. - it stayed at #1 for three weeks, also achieving Platinum status.
The band's debut album Reflector was released in early 2000 and debuted at #1, quickly becoming the fastest-selling album in Australian music history. The album spent seven weeks at #1 on the ARIA charts, and spawned two further singles: "Live Without It" and "Superman Supergirl".
Reflector eventually sold over 350,000 albums in Australia, earning 5x platinum status and Killing Heidi won four ARIA Music Awards in October 2000.
The band's momentum halted when a cyst was found on Hooper's vocal cords and she underwent an operation in 2001. Her voice was slow to recover, which "destroyed any confidence [Ella Hooper] had in her voice."
The band recorded its second album Present, despite Hooper's continuing problems with her vocal cords. This album was not as successful as its predecessor, selling only 50,000 copies and failing to make the top ten of the Australian album charts. It spawned two singles - "Heavensent" which reached the top 30 in early 2002 and "Outside Of Me" which reached a peak of #12 later in 2002; a third song from the album, "Ammyl", was released to radio in 2003 but was never released as a commercial single.
In 2002 manager Paul Kosky and the band split in an ending characterized as "acrimonious"; the split "almost spelt the end" for the band, and left Kosky feeling that he was the scapegoat blamed for the problems with the second album.
Chris Robinson bought out Kosky's share of their partnership and became the band's new manager.
In late 2003, the band spent three months in Los Angeles recording their next album.
The first single from the band's third album was "I Am", released on July 12, 2004. Debuting at #16 on the Australian singles charts, it spent three months in the Top 50 charts and reached Gold sales. It also features on the Australian version of the Spider-Man 2 soundtrack.
In late August 2004, Killing Heidi released their third studio album. Self-titled as Killing Heidi, the album featured a less styled and more sonically expressive sound. It debuted at #7 on the charts, again only reaching gold and then fell out of the charts relatively quickly.
In September 2004, the second single from the album, "Calm Down" was released, peaking at #23. Early 2005 saw a third song from the album, "Running Underwater" released to radio, but like "Ammyl" in 2003, it was not released as a commercial single and received very little radio airplay. Later in 2005, Killing Heidi left Sony BMG.
In mid-2006, rumours began to surface in the media of the possibility of Killing Heidi breaking up. The reports continued for several weeks, with articles in some magazines and newspapers claiming the band had already split. The band clarified the situation in a blog entry on their MySpace page:
"Oh the waiting... oh the waiting.... ok, hi everyone. Here is the news: We are taking a break from killing heidi for a while but do not see this as a break up! It is us needing to try something else for a little while cos its all we've done for 9 years now. Killing Heidi will be playing some shows in the next 6 months so if you really want to you can get to these shows. I will post the dates as they are confirmed. Ella and Jesse are working on a new as yet unnamed project and will be playing in vic and nsw trying out new material and playing a few oldies too. Pedro is rocking with the very loud and very talented "Monster Truck Extravaganza" (see our top friends for a link to their myspace) so check them out when they start doing shows soon. Hopefully you guys will like what we all get up to over the next little while!!! There have been requests to change the new traks to downloads so i will look into that too!!! Thanks everyone for your continued support, we love playing for you guys and look forward to seeing on the road again soon!!!"
Ella Hooper, after spending time with Jesse in The Verses, is now a solo artist. However in 2016, the band announced they were reforming for their 20th anniversary.
I am
Killing Heidi Lyrics
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I know I know I know I know all the games you play
I am I am I am I am not afraid yeah
Cause I know I know I know I know what to say
I feel it its coming its here if you want it
I am
Out on my own
Nobody knows who I am
Standing alone
And its me but you can't see who I am
I would like to rip you out of your skin
Id switch us around and put you back in
And I know I know I know I know what to say
But it couldn't be any other way
Cause I feel it
Its coming
Its here if you want it
And I am
Out on my own
Moving in shadow
Nobody knows who I am
Standing alone
And its me but you can see who I am
So close but you don't know
And its me but you can't see
So close but you don't know
And its me but you can't see
So close but you don't know
And its me but you can't see
So close but you don't know
And its me but you can't see
So close but you don't know
And its me but you can't see
So close but you don't know
And its me but you can't see
So close but you don't know
And its me but you can't see
I feel it its coming its here if you want it
I am
Out on my own
Moving in shadow
Nobody knows who I am
Standing alone
And its me but you can't see who I am
So close but you don't know
And its me but you're never gonna see who I am
So close but you don't know
And its me but you just can't see who I am
The lyrics of Killing Heidi's song "I Am" express a sense of self-awareness, confidence, and frustration all at once. The repetition of "I know I know I know I know" and "I am I am I am I am" show that the singer is fully aware of themselves and their surroundings, and they're not afraid to show it. From the line, "I would like to rip you out of your skin, switch us around and put you back in," it's evident that the artist is so comfortable with who they are that they want others to see the world from their perspective. However, they also recognize that they are alone in their understanding, as no one else can really know what it's like to be them.
The chorus, "Out on my own, moving in shadow, nobody knows who I am," further emphasizes the singer's isolation, even though they're surrounded by others. There's a wistful longing in these words, as the singer seems to desire to be understood, yet doesn't expect it to happen. The repeated refrain, "So close but you don't know, and it's me but you can't see who I am," encapsulates the feeling of being alone in a crowd- despite being physically present, there's an emotional distance that can't be bridged. Overall, "I Am" is a powerful song about knowing oneself and the struggle to find connection in a world where everyone is a stranger.
Line by Line Meaning
I know I know I know I know what you'd say yeah
I understand your thoughts and opinions before you say them to me.
I know I know I know I know all the games you play
I am aware of all the manipulations and tricks you use to get what you want.
I am I am I am I am not afraid yeah
I am not scared of anything, regardless of what happens.
Cause I know I know I know I know what to say
I am confident in my ability to articulate my thoughts and feelings.
I feel it its coming its here if you want it
There is an opportunity right now, and if you're interested in taking it, it's available.
I am
I exist, and I have value as an individual.
Out on my own
I am independent and self-reliant.
Moving in shadow
I am not in the public eye, and my actions are not well-known.
Nobody knows who I am
People do not understand my identity, personality, or individuality.
Standing alone
I am not surrounded by supporters and friends. I am on my own, and I am responsible for myself.
And its me but you can't see who I am
Even though I am here and present, others cannot comprehend my true essence and nature.
I would like to rip you out of your skin
I wish I could see the world through your eyes, to understand your perspective better.
Id switch us around and put you back in
If we could swap roles, you would understand my thoughts and feelings more fully.
But it couldn't be any other way
This is the only way I can experience the world, and I must accept it for what it is.
So close but you don't know
We are physically near to each other, but you still cannot comprehend my nature.
And its me but you can't see
You are looking directly at me, but you do not understand my true nature.
And its me but you're never gonna see who I am
Even with time and effort, you will never fully comprehend my true identity.
And its me but you just can't see who I am
Your perception of me is limited, and you will never be able to fully understand my true identity.
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Adam Pedretti, Ella Hooper, Jesse Hooper, Lukas Burton, Warren Jenkin
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind