Perhaps best known as a second season contestant on television phenomenon American Idol, Caldwell struck a chord with millions of the show’s viewers thanks to her gutsy vocals, passionate performances, and earthy charisma. On Without Regret, she wields her full-throttle belt to maximum effect on a series of emotionally resonant, pop-inflected rock songs, several of which she co-wrote. There are buoyant, propulsive rockers (female empowerment anthem “Going Going Gone” and first single “Mess of You”), the fiery and powerful (“Cost of Love” and “Heart Like Mine”), as well as soaring, graceful love songs (“Say Love” and the soulful “If You’re Gonna Fall”). Caldwell also covers Melissa Etheridge’s “Sleep While I Drive” as a tribute to Etheridge, whose “Come to My Window” Caldwell performed memorably on Idol. “We kind of conceived this album as a modern-day Melissa Etheridge moment,” Caldwell says. “I’m a massive fan of hers, as well as of Bonnie Raitt and Ann Wilson. I just love these fearless female rockers who sing straight from the heart.”
Caldwell strove to achieve the boldness of her favorite artists on Without Regret by recording songs that spoke to her, such as “Cost of Love” (written by Diane Warren) and “Heart Like Mine” (co-written by American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi and Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger), as well as co-writing four highly personal songs: “Taking Back My Life,” “Human After All,” “Frozen,” and “Say Love” — all of which document the different stages and emotions surrounding relationships. For Caldwell, the overall theme of Without Regret is just being human. “Like everyone else, I’ve had hardships: broken family, broken hearts, and thank God I did because I’ve been able to write honestly about the experiences in my life that have affected me in both good ways and bad,” she says. “If my music can give someone that push they need just to keep on going, then I’ve done my job.”
To help her deliver the authentic vocal performances she knew the songs required, Caldwell turned to producer Marshall Altman who has worked with singer-songwriters Matt Nathanson, Marc Broussard, and Kate Voegele, among others. “Marshall was amazing because he really welcomed all the emotion that went into making this record,” Caldwell says. “He taught me to embrace the imperfections — to stop worrying about every note being perfect and just let go.”
The most important thing, Caldwell says, “is that I jumped over to the fearless side. This album is my first step in allowing people to know ‘I’ve been where you are, I hurt like you do, but I’ve turned it around and made something positive moving forward and so can you.’”
Caldwell developed her fierce determination through a childhood that had its share of obstacles. Born in Katy, Texas, she describes herself as an attention-seeking kid who would climb on the coffee table, throw her hands in the air, and scream, “Look at me! I can do this!” “I’ve always wanted to be an entertainer,” she says. “I just wanted to perform for people.” That desire led to four years on the beauty pageant circuit, from ages 5 to age 9. “I loved the hair and makeup. I loved rehearsing,” she says. “My mom would have these extravagant outfits made, like red lamé with silver fringe and she would spray paint a silver cowboy hat and boots for me, the whole nine yards.”
A fan of country music and such artists as Reba McEntire, the Judds, and Randy Travis, Caldwell became obsessed with appearing on the television talent show Star Search, “the way people are with American Idol today,” she says. She wound up winning the competition five times, the most wins for a junior vocalist on the original version. At age 12, she landed a gig as a featured performer on a singing revue called “Country Tonite,” which meant a family move to Branson, MO, where the show was located. Caldwell sang country favorites six days a week, performing two shows a day, “doing full-on numbers where the dancers picked me up and I’m wearing a headset,” she recalls. Her mother told her she could stop anytime, but she loved performing and carried on for three years. Then at age 15, she decided she wanted to move back to Katy and “just be normal.”
Around this time, her parents’ marriage fell apart, her relationship with her father deteriorated, and her mother struggled to support her and her younger sister. Caldwell coped by going through what she describes as a rebellious phase, but the absence of performing took a deep emotional toll on her. So when auditions for the second season of American Idol rolled through Texas, Caldwell decided to take her shot and rode the wave all the way to the Top 10. When the show ended, she set out on a nationwide trek with the other finalists on the “Idols Live!” tour, then parlayed her fan favorite status into a stint as a correspondent for the entertainment/extreme sports program 54321 on FOX Sports Network, followed by a job as an entertainment correspondent and host for the TV Guide Network.
“I enjoyed hosting, but I didn’t want to let go of music or my dream of making an album,” Caldwell says. She spent several years working with her mentor, hit-maker Diane Warren, and several people approached her about numerous music projects, but nothing concrete really panned out until mid-2008. That’s when Caldwell wrote several songs that finally hit the emotional notes she knew she was capable of. The strength of her songs, plus her powerhouse voice, landed Caldwell a deal with Vanguard Records, part of the Welk Music Group. Shortly thereafter, Vanguard partnered with EMI Music Group to release Without Regret through Vanguard/Capitol.
“My two main philosophies are that everything happens for a reason and never apologize for who you are,” Caldwell says. “I try to live by both each day. I wasn’t meant to make an album any sooner because it wasn’t the right time for me. Now I’m on the right path and I really feel, for the first time, like I am truly fearless.”
Mess Of You
Kimberly Caldwell Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
It drags me underground
Where not a sound is heard
Through this distance
This distance I have found
The days and weeks go by
Without a word
I'll make a mess of you
Oh
the hell i put you through
Oh
I'll make a mess of you
You can trust me
Trust me
Sometimes we fall
Into our desires
It leaves no room for anyone
Despite it all
It's how I'm weird
I get so close and the I come undone
Oh
I'll make a mess of you
Oh
the hell i put you through
Oh
I'll make a mess of you
You can trust me
Trust me
As the days get longer
You might start to wonder
How everything turns into one mistake
I'm one mistake after another
Oh
I'll make a mess of you
Oh
the hell i put you through
Oh
I'll make a mess of you
You can trust me
Trust me
Trust me
The lyrics to Kimberly Caldwell's song Mess Of You speak to a feeling of uncertainty and insecurity that is all-consuming. The singer is unsure of themselves and it feels as though they are being dragged underground, away from the surface where everything is bright and happy. There is a distance that the singer has discovered within themselves and this has caused them to withdraw and be silent. Despite the desire for connection and closeness, the singer fears that they will only bring chaos and destruction to those who come too close, hence the refrain "I'll make a mess of you."
The second verse speaks to the conflicts and contradictions within the self. The singer recognizes the allure of desire, but knows that it can leave no room for anyone else. They are weird, in that they can get close but then come undone, leaving a trail of mistakes in their wake. It's a cycle that the singer recognizes but feels helpless to break free from. The final verse speaks to the toll that this instability takes on the singer and their relationships. The longer this goes on, the more mistakes are made until everything becomes one big mistake.
The song is a powerful commentary on the struggles of mental health and the impact it can have on relationships. It's a warning to others to not get too close, but also a cry for help because the singer desperately wants to connect and be understood.
Line by Line Meaning
I'm so unsure
I lack confidence and feel uncertain about myself and my decisions
It drags me underground
My lack of confidence and uncertainty weigh me down and affect me negatively
Where not a sound is heard
I feel isolated and alone in my struggles with self-doubt
Through this distance
Despite feeling distant and disconnected, I still struggle internally
This distance I have found
I have become emotionally distanced and disconnected from others
The days and weeks go by without a word
Time passes without much communication or connection with others
Sometimes we fall into our desires
We give in to our impulses and wants, even if they may not be the best for us
It leaves no room for anyone
Our desires can consume us and leave little space for others in our lives
Despite it all, it's how I'm weird
Regardless of the consequences or implications, I am who I am and do what I do
I get so close and then I come undone
I may get close to someone, but my lack of confidence and emotional distance causes me to pull away and unravel
As the days get longer, you might start to wonder
Over time, you may begin to question and doubt my behavior and actions
How everything turns into one mistake
My actions and decisions often lead to negative consequences and regret
I'm one mistake after another
I struggle to make the right choices and continue to make mistakes
Oh, I'll make a mess of you
I am warning you that my emotional baggage and issues may negatively impact you
Oh, the hell I put you through
My behavior and actions may cause you pain and distress
You can trust me, trust me
Despite my flaws and mistakes, I am asking you to trust me and give me a chance
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Alana Grace, Alana Grace Essig, Michael Hunter Ochs
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Matthew Williams
Her voice is incredible. I wish she went further in her career...
Joe Martinez
this is like one of my favorite songs of 2010 right now, i love it so much. It's sad that it doesn't get that much promo, because it could be a big hit :)
Nichell Jackson
I absolutely love her! Her voice is to die for! I love love love this woman! <3
Glambert4777
luv the song!!! she's awesome! her voice is soo beautiful and unique!
kalamaty
Killer song and voice!!! Looking forward to the album, Kim!!! :)
xLexiRayx
she has a great voice..its different i love it!! great song
Chantelle DeRose
I like her voice. Very rock & roll...I wish we could have heard some type of duet with her and David Cook.
Ana Rodriguez
Been a long time waiting for her to release an album.I like this song.Hopefully the rest of the album is as good.
Thomas Corcoran
I loved Kimberly since American Idol!!!!! A beautiful girl with a deep husky sexci voice!!!!! We need new music.
Cheryl Reid
Kimberly is great! Loved her during season 2 of A.I.