Perhaps best known as a second season contestant on television phenomenon American Idol, Caldwell struck a chord with millions of the show’s viewers thanks to her gutsy vocals, passionate performances, and earthy charisma. On Without Regret, she wields her full-throttle belt to maximum effect on a series of emotionally resonant, pop-inflected rock songs, several of which she co-wrote. There are buoyant, propulsive rockers (female empowerment anthem “Going Going Gone” and first single “Mess of You”), the fiery and powerful (“Cost of Love” and “Heart Like Mine”), as well as soaring, graceful love songs (“Say Love” and the soulful “If You’re Gonna Fall”). Caldwell also covers Melissa Etheridge’s “Sleep While I Drive” as a tribute to Etheridge, whose “Come to My Window” Caldwell performed memorably on Idol. “We kind of conceived this album as a modern-day Melissa Etheridge moment,” Caldwell says. “I’m a massive fan of hers, as well as of Bonnie Raitt and Ann Wilson. I just love these fearless female rockers who sing straight from the heart.”
Caldwell strove to achieve the boldness of her favorite artists on Without Regret by recording songs that spoke to her, such as “Cost of Love” (written by Diane Warren) and “Heart Like Mine” (co-written by American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi and Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger), as well as co-writing four highly personal songs: “Taking Back My Life,” “Human After All,” “Frozen,” and “Say Love” — all of which document the different stages and emotions surrounding relationships. For Caldwell, the overall theme of Without Regret is just being human. “Like everyone else, I’ve had hardships: broken family, broken hearts, and thank God I did because I’ve been able to write honestly about the experiences in my life that have affected me in both good ways and bad,” she says. “If my music can give someone that push they need just to keep on going, then I’ve done my job.”
To help her deliver the authentic vocal performances she knew the songs required, Caldwell turned to producer Marshall Altman who has worked with singer-songwriters Matt Nathanson, Marc Broussard, and Kate Voegele, among others. “Marshall was amazing because he really welcomed all the emotion that went into making this record,” Caldwell says. “He taught me to embrace the imperfections — to stop worrying about every note being perfect and just let go.”
The most important thing, Caldwell says, “is that I jumped over to the fearless side. This album is my first step in allowing people to know ‘I’ve been where you are, I hurt like you do, but I’ve turned it around and made something positive moving forward and so can you.’”
Caldwell developed her fierce determination through a childhood that had its share of obstacles. Born in Katy, Texas, she describes herself as an attention-seeking kid who would climb on the coffee table, throw her hands in the air, and scream, “Look at me! I can do this!” “I’ve always wanted to be an entertainer,” she says. “I just wanted to perform for people.” That desire led to four years on the beauty pageant circuit, from ages 5 to age 9. “I loved the hair and makeup. I loved rehearsing,” she says. “My mom would have these extravagant outfits made, like red lamé with silver fringe and she would spray paint a silver cowboy hat and boots for me, the whole nine yards.”
A fan of country music and such artists as Reba McEntire, the Judds, and Randy Travis, Caldwell became obsessed with appearing on the television talent show Star Search, “the way people are with American Idol today,” she says. She wound up winning the competition five times, the most wins for a junior vocalist on the original version. At age 12, she landed a gig as a featured performer on a singing revue called “Country Tonite,” which meant a family move to Branson, MO, where the show was located. Caldwell sang country favorites six days a week, performing two shows a day, “doing full-on numbers where the dancers picked me up and I’m wearing a headset,” she recalls. Her mother told her she could stop anytime, but she loved performing and carried on for three years. Then at age 15, she decided she wanted to move back to Katy and “just be normal.”
Around this time, her parents’ marriage fell apart, her relationship with her father deteriorated, and her mother struggled to support her and her younger sister. Caldwell coped by going through what she describes as a rebellious phase, but the absence of performing took a deep emotional toll on her. So when auditions for the second season of American Idol rolled through Texas, Caldwell decided to take her shot and rode the wave all the way to the Top 10. When the show ended, she set out on a nationwide trek with the other finalists on the “Idols Live!” tour, then parlayed her fan favorite status into a stint as a correspondent for the entertainment/extreme sports program 54321 on FOX Sports Network, followed by a job as an entertainment correspondent and host for the TV Guide Network.
“I enjoyed hosting, but I didn’t want to let go of music or my dream of making an album,” Caldwell says. She spent several years working with her mentor, hit-maker Diane Warren, and several people approached her about numerous music projects, but nothing concrete really panned out until mid-2008. That’s when Caldwell wrote several songs that finally hit the emotional notes she knew she was capable of. The strength of her songs, plus her powerhouse voice, landed Caldwell a deal with Vanguard Records, part of the Welk Music Group. Shortly thereafter, Vanguard partnered with EMI Music Group to release Without Regret through Vanguard/Capitol.
“My two main philosophies are that everything happens for a reason and never apologize for who you are,” Caldwell says. “I try to live by both each day. I wasn’t meant to make an album any sooner because it wasn’t the right time for me. Now I’m on the right path and I really feel, for the first time, like I am truly fearless.”
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Kimberly Caldwell Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Searching for that light that wouldn't dare come in
I lay here in my tears, wrapped up in these sheets
Avoiding the mirrors so I don't see what you've done to me
And I see your eyes staring at me like nothing
You're so frozen, so un-open, you will not destroy me
Fueling my fire, you will not destroy me
What was I thinking when I told you I loved you first
Knowing you don't have it in you to be the man I deserve
Oh sooner than later the season of what I felt
Will uncover your cold black heart as I watch you melt
I see your eyes staring at me like nothing
You're so frozen, so un-open, you will not destroy me
Keep on pushing me farther and farther
Fueling my fire, you will not destroy me
And I don't need closure from you
I got my life to get back to
And this time it's not for you
You're so frozen, so un-open, you will not destroy
You will not destroy me
You're so frozen, so un-open, you will not destroy me
Keep on pushing me farther and farther
Fueling my fire, you will not destroy me
You're so frozen, so un-open, you will not destroy me
Keep on pushing me farther and farther
Fueling my fire, you will not destroy me
I'm pulling myself outta the corner you put me in
In Kimberly Caldwell's song "Frozen," the lyrics speak to the pain and struggle of being in a toxic relationship. The first verse paints the picture of the singer feeling stuck in a corner, left to fend for herself, searching desperately for some light to enter her life. She finds herself crying and avoiding mirrors to avoid the reflection of the damage done to her by her partner. The chorus, "You're so frozen, so un-open, you will not destroy me," speaks to the strength and resilience she possesses in the face of his attempts to harm her. She is determined to keep pushing forward, letting his cruel behavior fuel her desire for something better.
The second verse gives insight into the history of the relationship, with the singer recalling how she was the one who expressed feelings of love first, only to realize that her partner was incapable of giving her what she deserved. She sees through his cold, manipulative ways and knows that eventually, she will watch him melt as his true colors are revealed. The bridge reflects her newfound independence, stating that she doesn't need closure from him and is free to get back to her own life. The final chorus serves as a declaration of her strength - no matter how hard he tries to bring her down, he will not destroy her.
Overall, the lyrics of "Frozen" showcase the difficulties of leaving an abusive or toxic relationship and the strength it takes to move past the pain and become stronger for it. Caldwell's voice carries a sense of determination and power in the face of adversity, making the song an anthem for anyone facing a similar struggle.
Line by Line Meaning
I'm pulling myself outta the corner you put me in
I am taking control of my life after being trapped by you.
Searching for that light that wouldn't dare come in
Looking for hope and positivity that you refused to bring into my life.
I lay here in my tears, wrapped up in these sheets
I am feeling the pain and devastation you caused, crying alone in bed.
Avoiding the mirrors so I don't see what you've done to me
Refusing to face the damage you've caused me, so I can focus on healing instead.
And I see your eyes staring at me like nothing
I can tell you feel no remorse for hurting me in the way you look at me.
You're so frozen, so un-open, you will not destroy me
You are cold and unfeeling, but your negative presence will not break me down.
Keep on pushing me farther and farther
Your attempts to hurt and control me are only making me stronger and more determined.
Fueling my fire, you will not destroy me
Your actions are only making me more motivated to succeed despite your attempts to derail me.
What was I thinking when I told you I loved you first
I regret ever loving you, knowing you were incapable of loving me back in the way I deserved.
Knowing you don't have it in you to be the man I deserve
Realizing that you lack the maturity, kindness, and empathy to treat me well.
Oh sooner than later the season of what I felt
Inevitably, my feelings for you will shift and fade, just like the changing of the seasons.
Will uncover your cold black heart as I watch you melt
My changing feelings will reveal your true, cruel nature as you try and fail to hold onto me.
And I don't need closure from you
I no longer need anything from you, including closure, because I have moved on.
I got my life to get back to
I have a full and fulfilling life ahead of me that I am excited to return to.
And this time it's not for you
This time, my focus and my future is not centered around you or your needs.
Lyrics © CONCORD MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Peermusic Publishing
Written by: JASON GAVIATTI, KIMBERLLY CALDWELL, MARSHALL ALTMAN, RYAN WHITE
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind