I Wonder
King Geedorah Lyrics

That's right I got problems and personal issues
I have inner struggles and challenges that I face in my life.

Stories that'll make ya, eyes tear and wet tissue
The tales I have to share are emotional and will move you to tears.

It's true, I'm Madd like the Rapper
I'm as mad as Angry Man Dan from the rapper's song.

I'm so upset I gotta put it up in my rap before I snapper
I need to express my anger in my rap before I snap and lose control.

After the things I've seen from Atlanta to Queens
Having lived in different cities from Atlanta to Queens, I've witnessed a lot.

To the mean streets of Brooklyn when I was a teen
Growing up in the tough neighborhoods of Brooklyn during my teenage years was challenging.

Back and forth to the Islands, scream when I left
Traveling to and from different islands was accompanied by emotional goodbyes.

But adapted, and still my dreams haven't left
But I adapted to my surroundings, and my dreams remain unchanged.

I only hung with the crack kids we not the best
I only associated with those involved in drugs, and it wasn't an ideal scenario.

Me and the ruffest ruffnecks went chest to chest
I engaged in physical altercations with some of the toughest people around.

Now my best friend's locked up north I won't rest
My closest friend is now incarcerated, and I won't stop until I help him achieve his dreams.

'Til I let him live his dream threw me and I confess
I'll do everything in my power to make sure he lives out his aspirations through me.

That even though both our hearts was dark his was darker
Even though we both had our inner demons, his were more severe.

Best believe when shit got spark he was the sparker
When things started to get heated, he was the instigator.

And when the block got hot he was the fire starter
And when things became dangerous, he was often the one who started the trouble.

And if I had beef my nigga Roger was a martyr
And if I ever had any problems, my friend Roger would be willing to die for me.

I wonder, how certain people come in my life
I question why certain people enter my life.

I wonder, why'd I get in so many fights
I ponder why I seem to always end up in physical altercations.

I wonder, why sometimes things just don't go right
I'm curious as to why things often don't go as planned.

Why I gotta live this life, hey hey
Why do I have to endure this kind of life?

Yo, you one of the most important people in my life
You're one of the most significant individuals in my life.

They called you Dice but I called you cousin
Others referred to you as Dice, but I considered you a family member.

We was buggin' 'cause I figured that we both had something in common
We bonded over our love for something we both enjoyed.

You loved to chat reggae music and I loved rhymin'
You enjoyed discussing reggae music, and I was passionate about writing rhymes.

But still they ain't call you Dice for nuttin'
Despite the similarities we shared, there was a reason you were nicknamed Dice.

I seen you shoot with the wiliest cats and leave them with nothing
I've witnessed you gamble with the most skilled players and win all of their money.

Somethin' must have pleased that bluffer in you
Something about bluffing and trickery pleased you.

To make you wanna take dough from those tougher than you
You were even willing to take money from those who were stronger than you.

Threw out school we made money together
Throughout our school years, we made money together.

When you was on the floor shootin', I was the side better
You were the one gambling, and I bet on the side.

And yo we cleaned out them cats and took the scraps
Together, we successfully took all of the money from our opponents.

But you wasn't a ruff cat and cats knew that
Despite your successful gambling and tough exterior, others knew you weren't a violent person.

I knew eventually them thugs would try to hurt you
I always knew that one day, the dangerous people we surrounded ourselves with would target you.

If I was there, I'd never let nobody hurt you, it's hurtful
Had I been there, I would have done everything in my power to protect you, and it's painful to think that I wasn't there when you needed me.

I knew they wouldn't let you take the money and run
I understood that the people we took money from wouldn't let us get away with it.

That's why I shoulda came when you told me to come
That's why I regret not being there when you asked for my help.

Yo, it was June sixth '96, graduation night
On June 6th, 1996, it was my high school graduation night.

Made it threw the school swish shootin' dice gettin' in fights
After graduating, we celebrated by shooting dice and getting into various physical altercations.

I even sparked a riot, 'til the school got quiet
I even caused a riot that continued until the school quieted down.

And dismiss just got tired of usin' my fists
Eventually, I got tired of fighting to solve my problems.

We had some shit like knife pipes bottles and sticks
We carried dangerous weapons like knives, pipes, bottles, and sticks.

Can't forget them 380's, nine's and 22's
Let's not forget the firearms we had on us, including .380s, 9mm pistols, and .22s.

Best believe, many dudes was paid in my crew
We were known for our ability to make money, and many people paid us to stay on our good side.

We made a name for ourselves boy I've seen some drama
We established a reputation for ourselves, and I've experienced some intense situations in my life.

Seems my momma never dreamed she'd go threw so much trauma
My mother never expected to experience so much pain and suffering in her life through her son's experiences.

Comma, pause you ask about cops and laws
Let's pause for a moment and talk about the police and justice system.

Well that shit don't exist when you black and poor
When you're black and living in poverty, the justice system doesn't seem to apply to you.

So we broke 'em, but at that night my heart got broken
We may have broken the law, but that night, I also felt emotionally broken.

Choken on the weed smoke drinkin' rum and gettin' open
I was smoking weed, drinking rum, and getting intoxicated that night.

Not to mention, never a big drinker I'm a thinker
Although I'm not a big drinker, I'm usually thinking deeply about things.

But I'm thinkin' hey dis my night, pass me more liquor
But that night, I was thinking it was my special occasion, so I asked for more alcohol.

Fight breaks out, I'm just too nice to get in it
A fight broke out, but I didn't want to get involved because I'm not usually inclined towards violence.

But my brother got stabbed and I missed it
Unfortunately, my brother got hurt and I wasn't even present to witness it or stop it from happening.

Word up, its crazy
It's insane when you think about everything I've been through.

Why I gotta live this life, hey hey (Wonder)
I can't help but wonder why I have to endure all of these hardships and challenges in life.

I wonder, why sometimes things just don't go right
I question why things don't always work out as planned.

I wonder, why sometimes things just don't go right
I continue to question why things don't always go as planned.

I wonder
I ponder and contemplate about the unpredictability of life.

Why I gotta live this life, hey hey
Why do I have to live a life filled with difficulties and challenges?