Kittie formed when Fallon Bowman and Mercedes Lander met in gym class. Morgan Lander became the lead vocalist and one of Kittie's guitarists and Tanya Candler completed the band's lineup on bass. After signing to NG Records, Kittie released their debut album 'Spit', which was certified gold by the RIAA and sold at least 600,000 copies in the United States. The band released 'Oracle' in 2001 and 'Until the End' in 2004. In 2005, Kittie parted ways with Artemis Records and created their own label. The band released 'Funeral for Yesterday' in 2007 and signed to E1 Music in 2009. The band released 'In the Black' in 2009 and 'I've Failed You' in 2011. In 2014, Kittie made a documentary as a 20th anniversary of the band.
In October 2016, it was announced that drummer/vocalist Mercedes Lander had started a new sludge/doom metal band called the White Swan that released the single "Illuminate". The debut EP, Anubis, was released on November 1, 2016.
On February 11, 2017, bassist Trish Doan died at the age of 31. Doan had moved to Australia in 2013 and had frequently used her social media accounts to speak of her frustrations with depression.
On August 30, 2017, the band announced that they would performing a three-set single concert on October 27, 2017, in their hometown of London, Ontario in the London Music Hall, featuring three different lineup variations made up of both current and former members.
The concert marked the launch of their 20-year anniversary documentary, and featured the return of Candler, Bowman, Phillips, Arroyo and Vujic to perform songs from their respective eras. The concert was released on DVD format on March 26, 2019. On March 30, 2018, the documentary Kittie: Origins/Evolutions, which was filmed prior to the reunion concert, was released on Blu-ray and DVD for the very first time. Like they did with reunion concert, Atfield and Marx declined to participate; according to Morgan Lander, Atfield was supportive of the documentary, appearing in the initial crowdfunding pitch video, but "didn’t think it was the right move for her" to appear. Packaged with the movie was a CD featuring a collection of live performances by the band. Several months later, it was announced that Lander had joined the melodic death metal band, Karkaos, as their new lead singer. In October 2020, Mercedes Lander stated that it was unlikely that Kittie would reunite to perform again without a significant financial offer and the ability to include all of the band's former members. Like her sister, she also stated that she found it difficult to go forward with the band without Doan.
Despite the previous doubts of the Lander sisters, it was announced in January 2022 that Kittie would reunite to perform on all three days of the When We Were Young festival, scheduled to take place in Las Vegas, Nevada on October 22, 23, and 29, with Vujic returning to the band on bass for all three dates. After the announcement of the October performances, the band were added to the Blue Ridge Rock Festival at the Virginia International Raceway in Alton, Virginia on September 8, 2022. Morgan Lander has stated that, although nothing is set in stone, she believes the band will continue performing in 2023.
What Have I Done
Kittie Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I'm slowly losing ground
Oh, what have I done?
Oh, a setting sun
Oh, what have I done?
Oh, a setting sun
Just barely treading water
If to live is to suffer,
I have lived a thousand lives
Over and over, had my happiness denied
Lifeless and soulless and
Loveless and hopeless
A pathetic mess in a heap on the floor
I am the catalyst,
Destroyer of my own world
The lyrics of Kittie's song "What Have I Done?" revolve around themes of regret, self-destruction, and despair. The opening two lines, "These tears I've cried a thousand, I'm slowly losing ground," suggest that the singer has been going through a prolonged period of emotional turmoil that has worn her down. The repetition of the phrase "a thousand" emphasizes the weight of her suffering, while the image of "losing ground" implies that she feels like she's losing control of her life.
The chorus then poses the question, "Oh, what have I done?" and answers it with the metaphor of a "setting sun," suggesting that the singer feels like she's reached the end of something and can't go back. This sense of finality is underscored by the repetition of the phrase "oh, a setting sun."
The second verse adds to the feeling of hopelessness, with the singer describing herself as being "just barely treading water" in "cold December." The line "If to live is to suffer, I have lived a thousand lives" suggests that the singer has experienced an overwhelming amount of pain, to the point where it feels like she's lived many lifetimes.
The bridge of the song, with its repetition of the phrases "over and over" and "lifeless and soulless and loveless and hopeless," emphasizes the cyclical nature of the singer's suffering and her sense of being trapped in a cycle of misery. The final line, "I am the catalyst, destroyer of my own world," suggests that the singer blames herself for her problems and feels powerless to change them.
Line by Line Meaning
These tears I've cried a thousand
I have cried so many tears that it feels like it's been a thousand times
I'm slowly losing ground
I am losing my grip on reality and my mental state is deteriorating
Oh, what have I done?
I am questioning my actions and the consequences that have come from them
Oh, a setting sun
My life is coming to an end and everything is slowly fading away
In silence Cold December
It's a cold, lonely December night and I am silently suffering
Just barely treading water
I'm just barely keeping my head above water and surviving
If to live is to suffer,
The act of living is full of pain and suffering
I have lived a thousand lives
I've been through so much pain that it feels like I've lived multiple lives
Over and over, had my happiness denied
Time after time, I've been denied happiness and cannot catch a break
Lifeless and soulless and
I feel as if I have no purpose or soul left in me
Loveless and hopeless
I'm devoid of love and completely hopeless
A pathetic mess in a heap on the floor
I am a mess, lying on the ground in a heap, feeling powerless and alone
I am the catalyst,
I am the reason behind my own destruction and struggles in life
Destroyer of my own world
My own actions have destroyed my life and everything around me
Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: MARIO ANTHONY RUSSO
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind