Dyplomata
Kult Lyrics

Hop sasliczkom piesnia jesna intieriesna,
I sing a naive song to little sausages,

Wot sa wsiem uspicham wsio izwiestna,
I’m a diplomat, and I know everything going on in the world,

Razkażu ja wam riebiata, swaju dielnost diplomata,
And have I got some stories for you, kiddos, about what diplomats do,

Wot kakije byli tam diela.
Some pretty wild stuff goes down in diplomacy, let me tell you.

I prisziol niemieckij gienieral
A German general came around,

Dolga smatril, a patom skazal:
He looked around for a while, then said,

'Wy oddajtie Ukrainu, tak ugodno razsiedinu,
'Give up Ukraine, and we’ll settle this peacefully,

Tak wariol wam Gitlier pieriedat'.
Or else Hitler will mess you up.'

Ja jemu atwietil abarot:
I, of course, had a response:

'Ah ty, kurwa, jobanyj twaj rod!
'You bastard, your whole family's a bunch of idiots!

My jebli japoncew w żopu, my nasrali na Jewropu,
We screwed the Japanese and defecated over Europe,

Gitlieru dawim my otkazat!'
So we’re telling Hitler to back off!'

I prisziol italianskij pasiol,
An Italian officer came next,

Uta chuj, marzowoj nakaziol,
Who was disgusted and gave some orders,

Gawarit szto Mussolini wmiestie z Gitlierom w Bierlinie,
Saying that Mussolini should meet Hitler in Berlin instead,

Razgawor a naszych ziemliach wiol.
And they would talk about our land.

'Pieriedajtie gaspadinu Duce
I told him, 'Tell that to Mussolini,

Szto on naszu ziemliu chuj pauczit.
And while you’re at it, tell him to stop trying to screw us over.

Jest nas dwiesti milionow, razpierdiom kak skarpionow,
There are two hundred million of us, and we'll scatter like scorpions,

A patom na zwalku adwieziom'.
And then we'll take them down.

I prisziol japonskij samuraj,
Last was a Japanese samurai,

Gawarit on: 'ziemlju nam addaj!
Who demanded, 'Give us your land!'

A niet tot ja toj Mikada ziemlju wsiu ot Leningrada,
Or else he, as a representative of the Emperor, will take it all the way from Leningrad,

Z wojskom samurajew zabieriom'.
With the help of the samurai army.'

Samuraj, ty bliadskij samuraj,
I told him: 'You damn samurai,

Ty idi Mikadu pieriedaj -
Go tell your Emperor to shove it,

On sarzowoj, on w chalatie, chuj marzowoj, on w tomatie,
He's just a puppet in his fancy clothes, trying to act tough,

I see niewo kondoma nie sdimaj!
But he's no match for us, so don’t you fool yourself!