Air Hostess
Kunt and the Gang Lyrics


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I was on board my flight with EasyJet
It was really cheap
I'd had a skinful at the airport and
I thought I'd go to sleep
But then I saw the stewardess
Walking down the aisle
She was in full uniform and
Wearing a false smile

That pretend look of enjoyment stirred
Something in my head
It reminded me of all the girls
I'd ever got in bed
Her skin was bright orange and
Her hair was bleached blonde
But the moment that I saw her
I knew we had a bond

Air hostess, I confess
I'm feeling a little stressed
Air hostess, I profess
Won't you help me lose my mess?
All it takes is a shake
Of your digit's round my snake
Failing that I'll have a coffee
And a dried-up piece of cake

And then the bloke beside me
Woke and he had halitosis
So I wedged my cock into a
Sock to prevent deep-vein thrombosis
And then the stewardess appeared
With our airline meal
I wish she'd drop her trolleys and




Give my cock a feel

I'm not a member of the mile high club
I don't think wanks apply
So I thought some chat up lines
Might be worth a try
I made a joke about ‘plane’ crisps
And then undid my fly
And my impression of an elephant
Seemed to catch her eye

Air hostess, I confess
I'm feeling a little stressed
Air hostess, I profess
Won't you help me lose my mess?
All it takes is a shake
Of your digit's round my snake
Failing that I'll have a coffee
And a dried-up piece of cake

Air hostess, I confess
I'm feeling a little stressed
Air hostess, I profess
Won't you help me lose my mess?
It's not a joke, I'd be stoked
If I could give your chuff a poke
Failing that
I'll have some shrink-wrapped nuts
And a tiny can of Coke

Overall Meaning

In "Air Hostess," Kunt and the Gang presents a humorous and irreverent portrayal of an airline experience, laden with innuendo and exaggeration. The singer's journey begins on an EasyJet flight, which is typically associated with budget travel, setting the stage for a scene that mingles the drudgery of air travel with the absurdity of the singer's intoxication. The lyrics reflect a typical experience of a weary traveler: the flight is cheap, and having consumed alcohol at the airport, he reclines into a slumber, only to be stirred awake by the stewardess. The depiction of her as someone wearing "a false smile" suggests a certain performative aspect to her role, hinting that the stewardess is merely doing her job while masking her true feelings, a situation that resonates with the absurdity often found in customer service roles.


As the singer observes the stewardess further, his imagination shifts into a self-indulgent and lascivious fantasy, marked by the juxtaposition of his inebriated state and the reality of their environment. The mention of her "bright orange" skin and "bleached blonde" hair adds a satirical note, painting a picture of an exaggerated caricature rather than a sincere romantic interest. He chemically alters his perception of her with nostalgic memories of past romantic encounters, suggesting that his craving for connection – no matter the pretentiousness of the circumstances – remains crucial, even when surrounded by mundane airline meal service and cramped seats. This sets up a ridiculous supposition that somehow a deep, erotic connection could be sparked amid the banalities of a cramped airplane cabin, causing both humor and cringe in the listener.


The chorus, with its repeated pleas to the air hostess, captures the essence of the singer's emotional state, characterized by stress and longing for something more than just the in-flight service. His candid confessions verge on the absurd, as he rationalizes inappropriate behavior by likening it to the comfort he seeks from the stewardess. By bringing in humorous imagery, such as the act of wedging a prominent anatomy part into a sock to combat thrombosis, the lyrics oscillate between crude humor and a narrative that pokes fun at societal taboos surrounding sexuality and connection. The use of playful language allows for both a critique of airline culture and a tongue-in-cheek take on the traditional romantic pursuits that often arise even in the most unlikely settings.


Finally, the singer's failure to swing the conversation in his favor leads to an air of bleakness and further absurdity. His attempts at chat-up lines veer into increasingly ridiculous territory, culminating in a surreal depiction of an elephant that eventually grabs the stewardess’s attention. The juxtaposition of his sexual advances with the offering of mundane flight cuisine – "shrink-wrapped nuts" and a "tiny can of Coke" – highlights the paradox of seeking intimate connection in a setting marked by disconnection and sterility. Ultimately, "Air Hostess" serves as a playful commentary on modern air travel, laden with satire and highlighting the lengths to which individuals might go in their search for human connection, even in the most unexpected and often inappropriate circumstances.


Line by Line Meaning

I was on board my flight with EasyJet
I found myself seated in an affordable airline, EasyJet.


It was really cheap
The ticket price was remarkably low.


I'd had a skinful at the airport and
I indulged in excessive alcohol consumption at the airport prior to boarding.


I thought I'd go to sleep
I planned to rest and escape into sleep during the flight.


But then I saw the stewardess
However, my attention was suddenly captured by the flight attendant.


Walking down the aisle
She was making her way through the passenger row.


She was in full uniform and
She wore the complete airline uniform.


Wearing a false smile
Her smile appeared to be insincere or forced.


That pretend look of enjoyment stirred
Her feigned expression of happiness sparked something in me.


Something in my head
It triggered thoughts or memories in my mind.


It reminded me of all the girls
It evoked memories of past romantic encounters.


I'd ever got in bed
Specifically, it brought to mind women I had intimate relations with.


Her skin was bright orange and
She had a distinctive orange hue to her skin.


Her hair was bleached blonde
Her hair was a very light, almost platinum blonde due to dyeing.


But the moment that I saw her
As soon as I laid eyes on her,


I knew we had a bond
I felt an instant connection or chemistry with her.


Air hostess, I confess
Flight attendant, I must admit to you,


I'm feeling a little stressed
I am currently experiencing some anxiety or nervousness.


Air hostess, I profess
Flight attendant, I declare openly that


Won't you help me lose my mess?
Could you assist me in alleviating my distress or confusion?


All it takes is a shake
I believe that a simple action would suffice,


Of your digit's round my snake
In a crude manner, I'm implying a physical gesture related to intimacy.


Failing that I'll have a coffee
If that’s not possible, I would settle for a beverage,


And a dried-up piece of cake
and a stale or unappetizing dessert item.


And then the bloke beside me
Then, the man sitting next to me


Woke and he had halitosis
woke up, and he was suffering from bad breath.


So I wedged my cock into a
As a comical measure, I adjusted myself by placing my genitalia into a


Sock to prevent deep-vein thrombosis
sock to avoid potential health issues, humorously referencing deep vein thrombosis.


And then the stewardess appeared
At that moment, the flight attendant arrived.


With our airline meal
She brought along our in-flight food.


I wish she'd drop her trolleys and
I found myself wishing she would lower her pants and


Give my cock a feel
engage in a sexual advance toward me.


I'm not a member of the mile high club
I have not yet participated in sexual activity while on an airplane, a tip-toeing joke about the 'mile high club.'


I don't think wanks apply
I doubt that solitary sexual activity counts in that context.


So I thought some chat up lines
Thus, I considered using some flirtatious remarks


Might be worth a try
that could potentially spark her interest.


I made a joke about ‘plane’ crisps
I attempted to lighten the mood with a humorous reference to airplane snacks.


And then undid my fly
and made a bold move by unzipping my pants.


And my impression of an elephant
I attempted to amuse her by mimicking an elephant.


Seemed to catch her eye
This peculiar act appeared to grab her attention.


Air hostess, I confess
Flight attendant, I must admit that


I'm feeling a little stressed
I am still experiencing some inner turmoil.


Air hostess, I profess
Flight attendant, I openly declare that


Won't you help me lose my mess?
Could you assist in helping me feel more at ease?


It's not a joke, I'd be stoked
I'm serious about this; it would genuinely excite me


If I could give your chuff a poke
if I had the chance to engage in a sexual act with you.


Failing that
If that option is not feasible,


I'll have some shrink-wrapped nuts
I would then like to settle for some packaged snack items.


And a tiny can of Coke
and a small can of soda for my refreshment.




Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS

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Comments from YouTube:

@Mathertron

I'm a lil bit less scared of flying now

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