Kunt and the Gang 's songs take a light-hearted approach to many modern issues, with song titles such as 'Wanking Over A Pornographic Polaroid Of An Ex-Girlfriend Who Died'.
Performing since 2003, the debut LP, I Have a Little Wank and I Have a Little Cry, was released in 2004, the first part of a 'wanking and crying' trilogy of albums. A Greatest hits album and DVD Complete Kunt was released in 2010.
The act has been compared, musically at least, to fellow UK comedy act John Shuttleworth as all the songs are performed on a cheap-sounding keyboard and simple drum machine.
Affiliated artists include The Kunts, Kunt and the Gang Presents, Little Kunt , The Krown Jewelz and Kunt's manager Mike Gibbons.
Kunt also endorsed The Krackpots in their Christmas number 1 campaign in 2023.
www.kuntandthegang.co.uk/
www.kunt.me.uk/
Carol Vorderman
Kunt and the Gang Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I'd like to put my willy in her nuni or her bum
She always gets the number's right, she's got me into maths
I'll take away her pants and add my corey to her gash
CHORUS:
Oh, Carol, when I see you on 'Countdown'
I have to pull my pants down And pop a finger in my brown
When she multiplies I unzip my flies
Then when she divides I put my hand inside
And then when she adds, I whop out my knob and 'nads
Then when she subtracts I perform a sexual act
Carol's really glamorous, she wears the latest stuff
She's fit for 40 something and I want to doink her muff
She tells you the target but it is my goal
To one day divide her flaps and then square root her hole
I've loved Carol Vorderman since 1985
I sometimes like to lurk around the bottom of her drive
I sometimes like to follow her when she goes to the shops
I sometimes open up her drains and examine her plops
I met her once and told her that I was her biggest fan
She signed me an autograph and put it in my hand
But at that point I felt a little throbbing in my gland
I realised I was ejaculating in my pants
Over Carol Vorderman, Carol Vorderman...
The lyrics to Kunt and the Gang's song "Carol Vorderman" are crude and explicit, and the song itself is a parody of infatuation and sexual desire. The lyrics are focused on the television personality Carol Vorderman, who is known for her work on the game show "Countdown" as a mathematician.
The song begins by praising Carol's intelligence and beauty, but quickly devolves into graphic sexual fantasies. The chorus repeats the singer's desire to masturbate to Carol's image on "Countdown," accompanied by sexual acts and euphemisms related to math concepts such as multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction.
Although the song is intentionally crude and offensive, it can also be interpreted as a commentary on obsessive fandom and the objectification of women in popular culture. The singer's fixation on Carol Vorderman is unhealthy and inappropriate, and his misguided attempts to express his desires are meant to elicit both shock and humor from the listener.
Overall, the lyrics of "Carol Vorderman" are crude and offensive, but they also have an underlying commentary on the problematic nature of celebrity worship and sexual objectification.
Line by Line Meaning
Carol's really beautiful and very good at sums
I find Carol Vorderman attractive and admire her mathematic skills
I'd like to put my willy in her nuni or her bum
I have sexual fantasies about Carol and want to have intercourse with her
She always gets the number's right, she's got me into maths
Carol's math abilities have inspired me to take an interest in maths
I'll take away her pants and add my corey to her gash
I want to have sexual intercourse with Carol by removing her pants and penetrating her vagina
Oh, Carol, when I see you on 'Countdown'
I feel strongly attracted to Carol when I watch her on 'Countdown'
I have to pull my pants down
I feel the need to remove my pants due to my sexual desire towards Carol
And pop a finger in my brown
I engage in sexual activity by inserting a finger into my anus
When she multiplies I unzip my flies
I get aroused when Carol multiplies and feel the urge to unzip my pants
Then when she divides I put my hand inside
I engage in sexual activity by inserting my hand into my pants when Carol divides numbers
And then when she adds, I whop out my knob and 'nads
I expose my penis and testicles when Carol adds numbers
Then when she subtracts I perform a sexual act
I engage in a sexual act when Carol subtracts numbers
Carol's really glamorous, she wears the latest stuff
Carol is fashionable and glamorous
She's fit for 40 something and I want to doink her muff
I find Carol attractive and want to have sex with her
She tells you the target but it is my goal
Carol provides the target in 'Countdown', but my goal is to have sex with her
To one day divide her flaps and then square root her hole
I want to engage in sexual intercourse with Carol by penetrating her vagina and then her anus
I've loved Carol Vorderman since 1985
I have been attracted to Carol Vorderman since 1985
I sometimes like to lurk around the bottom of her drive
I stalk Carol by hanging around her house
I sometimes like to follow her when she goes to the shops
I stalk Carol by following her when she goes outside
I sometimes open up her drains and examine her plops
I invade Carol's privacy by examining her sewage system
I met her once and told her that I was her biggest fan
I met Carol and told her that I am a big admirer of hers
She signed me an autograph and put it in my hand
Carol signed an autograph for me
But at that point I felt a little throbbing in my gland
I felt sexually aroused when Carol gave me her autograph
I realised I was ejaculating in my pants
I had an orgasm in my pants
Over Carol Vorderman, Carol Vorderman...
My sexual obsession with Carol Vorderman is overwhelming
Contributed by Benjamin O. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@carlconnor2650
Wonderful...Absolute genius 😅
@frankbrodie5168
Carol was an absolute stunner back then. She always reminded me of what I assumed Vanessa Angel's mum would look like. (though there's little difference in Carol and Vanessa's age in reality.)
That Countdown could actually find a replacement for Carol that was even more stunning, is one of the most incredible TV things to happen ever.
@mrroryc
because it's really funny?
@dinogoldie9716
Could've sworn this song was originally a slower reggae affair. I guess the mandela Effect strikes again.
@j.4332
Its a true love song i guess.
@mairey19
So, this is what Jay Cartwright is up to these days…
@6079SmithW
These make Macc lads look like Take that
@reubendobbs8011
😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
@lv2465
Carol Vorderman...can't afford her man.