Equal Opportunities Wank
Kunt and the Gang Lyrics


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You see a lot of dodgy things on the internet
But Little Kunt e mailed me something
That I just can't forget
It was a picture of a lady
And she had special needs
But she wasn't sat complaining
About her disability
She had no arms and legs and
She was laying on the sack
She had a corey up her front bum
And a dildo up her back
I felt disgusted with myself and
Went to press delete i went to press delete
I went to press delete
A little voice inside my head said, "go on
Beat your meat"

I had an equal opportunities wank
She's not got any arms but
Her jugs couldn't be finer
An equal opportunities wank
She's not got any legs but
She's got a big vagina

As soon as I fell for her stumpy charms
I knew that I was hooked
I couldn't wait to turn on my PC
And have another look
I spent that summer with my knob in my hand
And my eyes glued to the screen
I imagine my shaft thrusting in and out
Of where those other chaps had been

I had an equal opportunities wank
She's not got any arms but
Her jugs couldn't be finer
An equal opportunities wank
She's not got any legs but
She's got a big vagina

She really had a great big chuff

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of "Equal Opportunities Wank" by Kunt and the Gang depict a controversial and graphic scenario involving the singer receiving a picture of a woman with special needs. The woman in the picture is described as lacking arms and legs, positioned in a sexually explicit manner with objects inserted in her genital areas. The singer initially feels disgusted and conflicted by the image, considering deleting it, but is enticed by an inner voice encouraging him to indulge in self-gratification.


The theme of "equal opportunities wank" emerges as the singer justifies his attraction to the woman in the picture despite her physical disabilities. He focuses on her physical attributes, such as her "jugs" and "big vagina," emphasizing his ability to find sexual arousal and pleasure regardless of her condition. The lyrics suggest a sense of guilt and arousal intertwined, creating a complex and unsettling scenario for the listener to navigate.


The singer becomes infatuated with the woman in the picture, describing being captivated by her "stumpy charms" and repeatedly returning to the image for gratification. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of the singer spending the summer engaging in self-pleasure while fantasizing about intimate encounters with the woman in the image, blurring the lines between fetishism, arousal, and exploitation.


The song provocatively challenges societal norms and perceptions of sexuality, disability, and consent. It delves into the darker aspects of human desires and fantasies, pushing the boundaries of taboo subjects. The graphic and explicit nature of the lyrics forces listeners to confront their own discomfort and moral judgments, prompting a reflection on the complexities of sexual attraction and personal boundaries.


Line by Line Meaning

You see a lot of dodgy things on the internet
One encounters questionable content online regularly


But Little Kunt e mailed me something That I just can't forget
Kunt shared something memorable with me via email


It was a picture of a lady And she had special needs
The image depicted a woman with disabilities


But she wasn't sat complaining About her disability
Instead of pitying herself, she embraced her situation


She had no arms and legs and She was laying on the sack
She was limbless and reclined on a bed


She had a corey up her front bum And a dildo up her back
She had intimate objects in unconventional places


I felt disgusted with myself and Went to press delete i went to press delete I went to press delete
Feeling ashamed, he tried to delete the image multiple times


A little voice inside my head said, 'go on Beat your meat'
His inner voice urged him to indulge in self-pleasure


I had an equal opportunities wank She's not got any arms but Her jugs couldn't be finer An equal opportunities wank She's not got any legs but She's got a big vagina
He pleasured himself to the image despite her disabilities


As soon as I fell for her stumpy charms I knew that I was hooked
He became infatuated with her unique attributes


I couldn't wait to turn on my PC And have another look
He eagerly anticipated revisiting the image on his computer


I spent that summer with my knob in my hand And my eyes glued to the screen
He spent his summer masturbating while fixated on the image


I imagine my shaft thrusting in and out Of where those other chaps had been
He fantasized about engaging in activities depicted in the image


She really had a great big chuff
The woman had a large vagina




Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS

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Comments from YouTube:

@MaxmadV8

"she really had a great big chuff" haha fucking brilliant and hilarious!

@louisakeen9316

Giving a different meaning to the northern phrase, 'I was really chuffed'.

@chirpy999

Well done for putting this up!

@matthewchampneys108

Love it always

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