Kunt and the Gang 's songs take a light-hearted approach to many modern issues, with song titles such as 'Wanking Over A Pornographic Polaroid Of An Ex-Girlfriend Who Died'.
Performing since 2003, the debut LP, I Have a Little Wank and I Have a Little Cry, was released in 2004, the first part of a 'wanking and crying' trilogy of albums. A Greatest hits album and DVD Complete Kunt was released in 2010.
The act has been compared, musically at least, to fellow UK comedy act John Shuttleworth as all the songs are performed on a cheap-sounding keyboard and simple drum machine.
Affiliated artists include The Kunts, Kunt and the Gang Presents, Little Kunt , The Krown Jewelz and Kunt's manager Mike Gibbons.
Kunt also endorsed The Krackpots in their Christmas number 1 campaign in 2023.
www.kuntandthegang.co.uk/
www.kunt.me.uk/
Equal Opportunities Wank
Kunt and the Gang Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
But Little Kunt e mailed me something
That I just can't forget
It was a picture of a lady
And she had special needs
But she wasn't sat complaining
About her disability
She had no arms and legs and
She was laying on the sack
She had a corey up her front bum
And a dildo up her back
I felt disgusted with myself and
Went to press delete i went to press delete
I went to press delete
A little voice inside my head said, "go on
Beat your meat"
I had an equal opportunities wank
She's not got any arms but
Her jugs couldn't be finer
An equal opportunities wank
She's not got any legs but
She's got a big vagina
As soon as I fell for her stumpy charms
I knew that I was hooked
I couldn't wait to turn on my PC
And have another look
I spent that summer with my knob in my hand
And my eyes glued to the screen
I imagine my shaft thrusting in and out
Of where those other chaps had been
I had an equal opportunities wank
She's not got any arms but
Her jugs couldn't be finer
An equal opportunities wank
She's not got any legs but
She's got a big vagina
She really had a great big chuff
The lyrics of "Equal Opportunities Wank" by Kunt and the Gang depict a controversial and graphic scenario involving the singer receiving a picture of a woman with special needs. The woman in the picture is described as lacking arms and legs, positioned in a sexually explicit manner with objects inserted in her genital areas. The singer initially feels disgusted and conflicted by the image, considering deleting it, but is enticed by an inner voice encouraging him to indulge in self-gratification.
The theme of "equal opportunities wank" emerges as the singer justifies his attraction to the woman in the picture despite her physical disabilities. He focuses on her physical attributes, such as her "jugs" and "big vagina," emphasizing his ability to find sexual arousal and pleasure regardless of her condition. The lyrics suggest a sense of guilt and arousal intertwined, creating a complex and unsettling scenario for the listener to navigate.
The singer becomes infatuated with the woman in the picture, describing being captivated by her "stumpy charms" and repeatedly returning to the image for gratification. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of the singer spending the summer engaging in self-pleasure while fantasizing about intimate encounters with the woman in the image, blurring the lines between fetishism, arousal, and exploitation.
The song provocatively challenges societal norms and perceptions of sexuality, disability, and consent. It delves into the darker aspects of human desires and fantasies, pushing the boundaries of taboo subjects. The graphic and explicit nature of the lyrics forces listeners to confront their own discomfort and moral judgments, prompting a reflection on the complexities of sexual attraction and personal boundaries.
Line by Line Meaning
You see a lot of dodgy things on the internet
One encounters questionable content online regularly
But Little Kunt e mailed me something That I just can't forget
Kunt shared something memorable with me via email
It was a picture of a lady And she had special needs
The image depicted a woman with disabilities
But she wasn't sat complaining About her disability
Instead of pitying herself, she embraced her situation
She had no arms and legs and She was laying on the sack
She was limbless and reclined on a bed
She had a corey up her front bum And a dildo up her back
She had intimate objects in unconventional places
I felt disgusted with myself and Went to press delete i went to press delete I went to press delete
Feeling ashamed, he tried to delete the image multiple times
A little voice inside my head said, 'go on Beat your meat'
His inner voice urged him to indulge in self-pleasure
I had an equal opportunities wank She's not got any arms but Her jugs couldn't be finer An equal opportunities wank She's not got any legs but She's got a big vagina
He pleasured himself to the image despite her disabilities
As soon as I fell for her stumpy charms I knew that I was hooked
He became infatuated with her unique attributes
I couldn't wait to turn on my PC And have another look
He eagerly anticipated revisiting the image on his computer
I spent that summer with my knob in my hand And my eyes glued to the screen
He spent his summer masturbating while fixated on the image
I imagine my shaft thrusting in and out Of where those other chaps had been
He fantasized about engaging in activities depicted in the image
She really had a great big chuff
The woman had a large vagina
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@MaxmadV8
"she really had a great big chuff" haha fucking brilliant and hilarious!
@louisakeen9316
Giving a different meaning to the northern phrase, 'I was really chuffed'.
@chirpy999
Well done for putting this up!
@matthewchampneys108
Love it always