Kunt and the Gang is a UK band fronted by lead singer and keyboardist Kunt … Read Full Bio ↴Kunt and the Gang is a UK band fronted by lead singer and keyboardist Kunt and featuring puppet sidekick, Little Kunt. They originate from Basildon, Essex, England (most famous for Depeche Mode, Yazoo and paedophiddlia).

Kunt and the Gang 's songs take a light-hearted approach to many modern issues, with song titles such as 'Wanking Over A Pornographic Polaroid Of An Ex-Girlfriend Who Died'.

Performing since 2003, the debut LP, I Have a Little Wank and I Have a Little Cry, was released in 2004, the first part of a 'wanking and crying' trilogy of albums. A Greatest hits album and DVD Complete Kunt was released in 2010.

The act has been compared, musically at least, to fellow UK comedy act John Shuttleworth as all the songs are performed on a cheap-sounding keyboard and simple drum machine.

Affiliated artists include The Kunts, Kunt and the Gang Presents, Little Kunt , The Krown Jewelz and Kunt's manager Mike Gibbons.

Kunt also endorsed The Krackpots in their Christmas number 1 campaign in 2023.

www.kuntandthegang.co.uk/
www.kunt.me.uk/

Gentleman's Wash
Kunt and the Gang Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

Last Friday night I was due out on a date
But unfortunately I got home really late
I didn't have time for a bath or a shower
There's only one thing that could save us
It's just like a shower but it's over the sink
The only thing that get's washed is shiny and pink
If there's a possibility of fellatio you have to make sure
That your knob doesn't smell like Quavers

A gentleman's wash
A gentleman's wash
If you think there's half a chance
Your cock might get a nosh
Pull your pants to one side
Wash the men that they hide
And that's a little gentleman's wash!

The other weekend I was out on the piss
When this girl who was wankered came and gave me a kiss
She said "I bet you've got a big knob 'cause you've got big hands"
Just like Peter Shilton
But I'd come straight from footy and I thought my cock must stink
So I rushed to the bogs and flopped it out in the sink
I thought if I'm gonna get sucked off it's only good manners to make sure
That my knob doesn't smell like Stilton

A gentleman's wash
A gentleman's wash
If you think there's half a chance
Your cock might get a nosh
Pull back your skin
Wash the helmet within
And that's a little gentleman's

Have a little gentleman's
That's a little gentleman's wash!

Overall Meaning

The song "Gentleman's Wash" by Kunt and the Gang is a humorous and cheeky take on the concept of hygiene in the context of sexual encounters. The song talks about how a gentleman's wash is a quick and effective way to freshen up before getting intimate with someone. The lyrics describe scenarios where the singer finds himself in need of a quick clean-up, such as when he comes home late and doesn't have time for a shower before a date, or when he's out drinking and meets someone he wants to be intimate with.

The gentleman's wash is described as a quick wash over the sink, focusing only on the genital area, to ensure that there are no unpleasant smells or tastes when engaging in sexual activities. The song is not only meant to be funny but is also a commentary on the pressure that people can feel to smell or taste good before engaging in sexual activities. The song also highlights the double standard that exists when it comes to hygiene expectations of men and women, as women are often expected to be clean and smell nice, while men are given more leeway in this regard.

Line by Line Meaning

Last Friday night I was due out on a date
I had a date planned for last Friday night

But unfortunately I got home really late
I got home late and didn't have much time to prepare for the date

I didn't have time for a bath or a shower
Because of my lateness, I didn't have time to shower or take a bath

There's only one thing that could save us
I needed a quick solution to my lack of hygiene

It's just like a shower but it's over the sink
The solution I found was similar to taking a shower, but I did it over the sink

The only thing that get's washed is shiny and pink
I only washed my intimate area

If there's a possibility of fellatio you have to make sure
If there is a chance that I will receive oral sex, I must ensure

That your knob doesn't smell like Quavers
that my penis does not have a bad smell

A gentleman's wash
This quick cleaning solution is known as a gentleman's wash

If you think there's half a chance
When there is a possibility or chance

Your cock might get a nosh
I might receive oral sex

Pull your pants to one side
I pulled my pants to one side to get access to my genital area

Wash the men that they hide
I washed my private parts

And that's a little gentleman's wash!
This is a quick cleaning solution for men who are in a hurry

The other weekend I was out on the piss
Another time, I was out drinking alcohol

When this girl who was wankered came and gave me a kiss
A drunk girl kissed me

She said "I bet you've got a big knob 'cause you've got big hands"
The girl made a suggestive comment implying that I have a large penis

Just like Peter Shilton
This is a reference to Peter Shilton, a professional footballer, known for his large hands and possibly his large penis

But I'd come straight from footy and I thought my cock must stink
Since I had just come from playing football, I was concerned that my penis might have a bad smell

So I rushed to the bogs and flopped it out in the sink
I quickly went to the bathroom and used the sink to clean my genital area

I thought if I'm gonna get sucked off it's only good manners to make sure
I believed that it was good manners to make sure I was clean before receiving oral sex

That my knob doesn't smell like Stilton
I needed to make sure that my penis didn't have a bad smell

If you think there's half a chance
When there is a possibility or chance

Your cock might get a nosh
I might receive oral sex

Pull back your skin
To get access to my genital area, I pulled back the foreskin

Wash the helmet within
I washed the head of my penis

And that's a little gentleman's
This quick cleaning solution is referred to as a gentleman's wash

Have a little gentleman's
I used this quick cleaning solution

That's a little gentleman's wash!
This is a quick cleaning solution for men who are in a hurry

Contributed by Elliot N. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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