Kunt and the Gang 's songs take a light-hearted approach to many modern issues, with song titles such as 'Wanking Over A Pornographic Polaroid Of An Ex-Girlfriend Who Died'.
Performing since 2003, the debut LP, I Have a Little Wank and I Have a Little Cry, was released in 2004, the first part of a 'wanking and crying' trilogy of albums. A Greatest hits album and DVD Complete Kunt was released in 2010.
The act has been compared, musically at least, to fellow UK comedy act John Shuttleworth as all the songs are performed on a cheap-sounding keyboard and simple drum machine.
Affiliated artists include The Kunts, Kunt and the Gang Presents, Little Kunt , The Krown Jewelz and Kunt's manager Mike Gibbons.
Kunt also endorsed The Krackpots in their Christmas number 1 campaign in 2023.
www.kuntandthegang.co.uk/
www.kunt.me.uk/
Have a wank
Kunt and the Gang Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
When it's dead, dead quiet and your Mum's asleep
And your Dad's asleep and the door is shut
And the light is out and the room is dark
And the curtains drawn and you're on your own
Your bed is warm and your dream is rude
And your hand's restless and your knob is hard
Have a wank! Have a wank!
Have a mutha fuckin' wank!
I'm getting out my cock
I pull my foreskin back
I reveal my acorn
And give it a little smack
I'm thinking of ladies
Playing with their vulva's
And inserting objects
Into their women's areas
What do you do in the middle of the day
When the TV's shit and there's nothing on
When you got no money and you got no beer
And you've read the paper from cover to cover
Radio's playing a pile of shit like Darius Danesh and Robbie Williams
Who are the two biggest cunts in the whole wide world!!
Have a wank!
Have a mutha fuckin' wank!
I'm getting out my cock
I'm gonna wank for Britain
I'm cumming in a sock
And then I'll put my kit on
I'm wanking as if
My life depended on it
I'm picturing some tits
I'm imagining a clit
Come on, come on,
Come and have a wank with me
Come on, come on,
Come and have a wank with me
Come on, come on,
Come and have a wank with me
Come on, come on,
Come and have a wank with me
Wank your hairy cock with me
The song "Have A Wank" by Kunt and the Gang is a humorous and explicit exploration of the act of masturbation. The first verse sets the scene for the listener, describing a moment of privacy and arousal. The chorus suggests that the best course of action in such a situation is to simply "have a wank," encouraging the listener to embrace their sexual desires and take matters into their own hands. The second verse addresses another common scenario - boredom - and suggests that rather than succumbing to the dullness of daily life, one should instead indulge in a little self-pleasure.
The lyrics of the song are crude and provocative, but they also have a deeper meaning. They are a celebration of self-exploration and a rejection of societal taboos around sexuality. By encouraging listeners to embrace their desires, Kunt and the Gang are promoting a sex-positive message that challenges the shame and guilt associated with masturbation.
Overall, "Have A Wank" is a playful and irreverent song that pokes fun at the prudishness of mainstream society while promoting a positive message of self-love and acceptance.
Line by Line Meaning
What do you do in the middle of the night
What do you do when all is silent, and you are alone in a dark room with a rude dream and a restless hand?
Have a wank! Have a wank! Have a mutha fuckin' wank!
Masturbate! Masturbate! Pleasure yourself through self-stimulation!
I'm getting out my cock
I am exposing my penis
I pull my foreskin back
Retracting the soft outer layer of skin covering the acorn of the penis
I'm thinking of ladies
I am fantasizing about women
Playing with their vulva's
Handling and stimulating female genitalia
And inserting objects
Introducing foreign objects into their private parts
What do you do in the middle of the day
What do you do when there is nothing else to do during the day?
Have a wank! Have a mutha fuckin' wank!
Masturbate! Masturbate! Pleasure yourself through self-stimulation!
I'm going to wank for Britain
I am going to masturbate unapologetically
I'm cumming in a sock
I am ejaculating into a sock
I'm wanking as if my life depended on it
Masturbating with extreme intensity
Come on, come on, Come and have a wank with me
Join me in the pleasurable act of self-stimulation!
Wank your hairy cock with me
Masturbate yourself with me
Contributed by Owen R. Suggest a correction in the comments below.