Rachel Riley
Kunt and the Gang Lyrics

When Carol left Countdown me was upset
The departure of Carol from the Countdown show caused me significant disappointment.

Me never thought me was gonna get over it
I believed that I would struggle to move past this feeling of loss.

But time’s a great healer and me must admit
However, with the passage of time, I realized that I could heal from this emotional pain.

Me found another girl with whom me’d
I discovered another romantic interest with whom I wish to connect.

Like to get me nuts wet
I desire an intimate relationship with her.

Her name is Rachel and she’s from Southend
This new girl is named Rachel, and she hails from Southend.

Me got a little message that
I have a heartfelt message I wish to convey.

Me’d like to wine and dine you
I want to take you out on a romantic date.

And be your boyfriend
I wish to enter into a romantic relationship with you.

Then get you in me car and
I want to take you for a ride in my car.

Make you suck me bellend
I have a crude desire for intimate acts with you.

Rachel Riley, you make me smiley
Rachel, you bring joy and happiness to my life.

So me sing you a song in a rub-a-dub styleee
Thus, I will express my feelings for you through a playful tune.

Rachel Riley, you make me smiley
Your presence consistently lifts my spirits.

So me write this song for you
Therefore, I am composing this song dedicated to you.

Pa-ru pa-pum-pum
This is a playful, rhythmic sound representing joy.

Rachel Riley, you make me smile
You, Rachel, are a source of happiness for me.

Me put me finger in me brown
I engage in some questionable personal habits.

But me got a small pileee
Despite that, my situation is not as grand as it could be.

Rachel Riley, you make me smiley
You, Rachel, continue to be a joy in my life.

So me write this song for you
This song is another token of my admiration for you.

Pa-ru pa-pum-pum
This playful rhythm signifies my excitement.

Carol left Countdown cos they cut her pay
Carol departed from the show due to a salary reduction.

She still does Pride Of Britain
Despite this, she maintains her involvement in the Pride Of Britain event.

But me have to say
However, I feel compelled to express my thoughts.

Me went to have a wank but to my dismay
I attempted to engage in personal gratification, only to be disappointed.

There’s so many disabled kids
The presence of many vulnerable individuals made me feel conflicted.

Me just could not spray
As a result, I found myself unable to achieve that intimate release.

Oh Rachel, when me see you on Countdown
My feelings intensify when I see you featured on the Countdown show.

Me have to pull me pants down
This spontaneous excitement compels me to behave inappropriately.

And pop a finger in me brown
I engage in some private actions due to my overwhelming feelings.

Me see you on the TV with Jeff Stelling
I watch you on television alongside Jeff Stelling.

On Countdown, a show about words and spelling
The show Countdown focuses on terminology and language skills.

Suddenly me feel me trousers swelling
Your presence evokes an unexpected physical reaction in me.

A bit of white wee-wee me was expelling
This reaction resulted in a very intimate response.

Rachel me think me’s becoming a fanatic
I feel like I am developing a strong obsession with you.

Cos everytime me see you feel ecstatic
Every time I see you, I am filled with immense joy.

Me get a box of tissues and go up the attic
I prepare for private moments of indulgence on my own.

You know what me’s up to
You understand my hidden intentions and desires.

You do the mathematic
You can deduce the implications of my feelings through reasoning.

Rachel Riley, you make me smiley
Rachel, you continuously bring happiness into my life.

So me sing you a song in a rub-a-dub styleee
Therefore, I craft this song in a lively and cheerful manner.

Rachel Riley, you make me smiley
Your presence is a constant source of joy for me.

So me write this song for you
As a result, I dedicate this song to you as an expression of my admiration.

Pa-ru pa-pum-pum
This playful sound encapsulates the joy I feel.

Rachel Riley, you make me smile
You bring joy into my life, Rachel.

Me hope you never get
I sincerely wish that you remain free from suffering.

Boobie cancer like Kylie
I hope you do not experience serious health issues similar to those faced by others.

Rachel Riley, you make me smiley
Your existence brings me unparalleled happiness.

So me write this song for you
That is why I am writing this song as a tribute to you.

Pa-ru pa-pum-pum
This cheerful rhythm emphasizes my sentiments.

Oh Rachel, when me see you on Countdown
Whenever I see you on the Countdown show, my feelings surge.

Me have to pull me pants down
I find myself compelled to act in a rather impulsive manner.

And pop a finger in me brown
I inadvertently engage in private conduct due to my feelings.