Kunt and the Gang 's songs take a light-hearted approach to many modern issues, with song titles such as 'Wanking Over A Pornographic Polaroid Of An Ex-Girlfriend Who Died'.
Performing since 2003, the debut LP, I Have a Little Wank and I Have a Little Cry, was released in 2004, the first part of a 'wanking and crying' trilogy of albums. A Greatest hits album and DVD Complete Kunt was released in 2010.
The act has been compared, musically at least, to fellow UK comedy act John Shuttleworth as all the songs are performed on a cheap-sounding keyboard and simple drum machine.
Affiliated artists include The Kunts, Kunt and the Gang Presents, Little Kunt , The Krown Jewelz and Kunt's manager Mike Gibbons.
Kunt also endorsed The Krackpots in their Christmas number 1 campaign in 2023.
www.kuntandthegang.co.uk/
www.kunt.me.uk/
The Model
Kunt and the Gang Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
It was a bird with an nice arse
The teacher had trouble trying to find her
I couldn't wait to see her vagina
The art teacher drove us in his Volvo
To Hornchurch where I hoped to see a vulva
It was art, it shouldn't have aroused us
Drop your paper, drop your card
She dropped her drawers and my knob went hard
I struggled with my pastels
To capture her complexion
All the time nursing a rather large erection
The next week I couldn't wait
To get behind my easel
And have a good stare at
A naked woman's weasel
But my filthy plans went all up in smoke
The art teacher had employed a bloke
He was wrinkly and he was old
His cock and bollocks were completely bald
I don't know if he shaved them
Or the hair had fallen out
But I had rather hoped that I
Would be ogling a hairy clout
"The Model" by Kunt and the Gang is a humorous and cheeky song that tells the story of an art class involving a nude model. The lyrics playfully describe the anticipation and excitement of the singer, who eagerly awaits the opportunity to see a woman's intimate parts while sketching her.
The first verse sets the scene as the art class prepares for the arrival of the nude model, who turns out to be an attractive woman. The singer expresses their anticipation and eagerness to see her vagina, demonstrating their explicit curiosity. The second verse continues with a tongue-in-cheek tone as the art teacher drives the students to a location called Hornchurch, where the singer hopes to catch a glimpse of the model's vulva. The singer humorously acknowledges that although this arousal may seem inappropriate for an art class, they couldn't help their physical reaction.
The chorus adds to the risqué humor of the song, with the lyrics suggesting that the model undresses, causing the singer to experience an erection. The following lines reveal the singer's struggle to concentrate on the art process, as they battle with their arousal while attempting to capture the model's complexion with pastels.
In the final verse, the singer excitedly looks forward to the next week's art class, imagining the opportunity to closely observe a woman's genitals. However, their hopes are dashed when a male model is introduced instead. The contrast between the initial excitement and the disappointment of the unexpected twist adds to the comedic nature of the song. The singer playfully describes the male model's physical appearance, mentioning his bald genitals and expressing their disappointment at not being able to ogle a woman's "hairy clout."
Line by Line Meaning
We got a nude model for our art class
We had the opportunity to have a model without any clothes on for our art class
It was a bird with a nice arse
The model was an attractive person with an appealing buttocks
The teacher had trouble trying to find her
The teacher faced difficulties in locating the model
I couldn't wait to see her vagina
I was eagerly anticipating seeing her genitalia
The art teacher drove us in his Volvo
The art teacher transported us to the location in his Volvo car
To Hornchurch where I hoped to see a vulva
We went to Hornchurch, where I had expectations of witnessing a female genitalia
It was art, it shouldn't have aroused us
We should not have felt sexually stimulated by the art class as it was meant for artistic purposes
But I got a stiffy in my trousers
Nevertheless, I experienced an erection in my pants
Drop your paper, drop your card
Let go of your drawing materials, abandon your artwork
She dropped her drawers and my knob went hard
The model removed her undergarments, causing my penis to become erect
I struggled with my pastels
I had difficulty working with my art medium of pastels
To capture her complexion
To accurately represent her skin tone and texture
All the time nursing a rather large erection
Throughout, I was dealing with a notably prominent erection
The next week I couldn't wait
In the following week, I was eagerly anticipating
To get behind my easel
To position myself behind my painting stand
And have a good stare at
And thoroughly gaze upon
A naked woman's weasel
The genitals of a naked woman
But my filthy plans went all up in smoke
However, my impure intentions were completely foiled
The art teacher had employed a bloke
The art teacher had hired a man
He was wrinkly and he was old
The man was elderly and had wrinkled skin
His cock and bollocks were completely bald
His penis and testicles were entirely devoid of hair
I don't know if he shaved them
I am uncertain whether he intentionally removed the hair
Or the hair had fallen out
Or if the hair had naturally disappeared
But I had rather hoped that I
However, I had significant expectations that
Would be ogling a hairy clout
I would be observing a vulva covered in pubic hair
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Tumbles
Loved you at Brighton, wish the knob you drew on my hand never went away.
Wyrmlight
You guys deserve so much more attention than what you get and it's a shame to see you go, much love from Australia though mate!
seamat
Much love Kunt. You're going to be terribly missed by all us wrong uns
C B
I recommend listening to his song about Boris Johnson, for Christmas number one
Tardis Time
Daniel Factor no retired
Phil Cowin
I missed this back in November as I was away, but yes, it's so good!
Nigel Dakin
Its the smile whilst sat on the lav with the tester that cracks me..
PunkLiveInLondon
Brilliant, one of my most favourite tracks, now a video to match. When you get bored, make a video for Stranglewank. You know you want to!! Come to think of it, a video for Lovely Jubbly would be hilarious too. Oh by the way Kunt, that film I couldn't remember the name of at the Southend gig, was 'Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer'.
StarAquatics
thanks for being the highlight of my last 3 birthday nights out in Manchester fella. Good luck with your next endeavor and hope to see you on stage again sometime.
Dave Spencer
Nice work, Mate . best of luck for the future ,sadly missed never forgotten