Andria
La Dispute Lyrics

You still cross my mind from time lo lime. And I mostly smile.
Occurrences of reminiscing about you are infrequent, but when they do happen, they make me smile.

Still so set on finding out where we went wrong and why
I am still determined to learn what went wrong in our relationship and why it ended.

So I retrace our every step with an unsure pen, Trying to figure out what my head thinks, But my head just ain't what it used to be.
I am trying to reconstruct our memories with a confused mind, struggling to understand my own thoughts and emotions.

And then again, what's the point anyway?
Despite my efforts, I question whether there is even a point in reflecting on our past relationship.

I remember you ascending all the stairs up to the balcony To see if you could see me - hidden quietly away And I remember the skin of your fingers, The spot three quarters up I'd always touch when I was out of things to say.
I have vivid memories of the times we spent together, such as when you looked for me on the balcony and the particular part of your fingers I would touch when I didn't know what to say.

You held my hand, but you were too afraid to speak and I could never understand.
I recall how you would hold my hand but remain silent, and despite my efforts, I could never comprehend your hesitation to express yourself.

I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear, That not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand, And I remember how you smiled through the smoke In a crowded little coffeehouse and laughed at all my jokes.
I can still feel the effects of the intense emotions I felt when I remember the times you kissed me quickly and made me so nervous that my hands would shake. Moreover, I reminisce the moments you spent with me at the coffeehouse where we drizzled in smoke, and you found all of my jokes amusing.

And I remember the way that you dressed and, How we wasted all the best of us in alcohol and sweat And I remember when I knew that you'd be leaving, how I barely kept up breathing
I can clearly recall your sense of style, the times we spent our best moments together intoxicated or sweating, and how challenging it was to cope up with the reality of you leaving.

And I bet if I had to do it all again, I'd feel the same pain, And I remember panicked circles in the terminal in tears. How I wept to god in fits. I've hated airports ever since.
If faced with a similar situation, I am convinced that I would suffer the same pain. I also have vivid memories of when you were leaving the terminal, and I broke down in teary circles while praying uncontrollably, and, since then, I have been rejecting or avoiding airports.

It must be true what people say, that only time can heal the pain.
I am aware of the common saying that time is the only remedy for pain, and I believe it to be correct.

And every single day I feel it fade away, but -
Every day, I feel the pain falling into the abyss, but something is holding on.

I still remember how the distance tricked us, And lead us helpless by the wrist into a pit to be devoured. I still remember how we held so strong to this, Though we had never really settled on a way out.
I recollect how the distance between us deceived us and left us vulnerable to be consumed by despair. Despite that, I also reminisce how we held onto each other so tightly despite not having defined or executed a solution to our problems.

I still remember the silence, and how we'd always find a way To turn and run to our mistakes. I still remember how it all came back together just to fall apart again.
I still can recall the moments of deafening silence, and how we constantly criticized ourselves for the mistakes we made. Alongside all that, it saddens me to remember how we reunite to only mess it all up again.

My dear, I hear your voice in mine.
My dear, I can still hear your voice in my mind.

I've been alone here, I've been afraid, my dear. I've been at home here. You've been away for years. I've been alone.
I have been alone and scared, while you have been away for years despite feeling that home without you is not home at all.

I breathed your name into the air; I etched your name into me. I felt my anger swelling; I swam into its sea. I held your name inside my heart, but it got buried in my fear. It tore the wiring of my brain; I did my best to keep it clear.
I have said your name out loud, and it has become an innate part of me. My emotions have overwhelmed me at times, causing me to dive into an angry storm, but I have always managed to hold onto your memory despite the fear that consumes me. It has been quite challenging not to let the negativity influence my clarity of mind.

So, dear, no matter how we part, I hold you sweetly in my head. And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead. If I can't love you as a lover, I will love you as a friend. And I will lay a bed before you; keep you safe until the end
My dear, I will always remember you as someone dear and cherish you in my thoughts. A part of me would disappear if I stopped feeling this way. I may not be able to love you in a romantic sense, but my feelings for you run deep, and I'll still be here to keep you safe until the end.