A&W
Lana Del Rey Lyrics

I haven’t done a cartwheel since I was nine
I haven't had genuine joy in my life for a long time.

I haven't seen my mother in a long, long time
I have a strained relationship with my mother, and we haven't spoken in a while.

I mean, look at me
I want you to see me for who I am, despite the judgments you may have already made about me.

Look at the length of my hair and my face, the shape of my body
I know that my appearance does not conform to conventional beauty standards, but I still feel confident and comfortable in my own skin.

Do you really think I give a damn What I do after years of just hearin′ them talking?
I have faced harsh criticisms and rumors throughout my life, and I am jaded to the opinions of others.

I say I live in Rosemead, really, I'm at the Ramada It doesn't really matter, doesn’t really, really matter
I am dishonest about my living situation because it's easier than explaining my complex personal life.

Call him up, come into my bedroom Ended up, we fuck on the hotel floor
I am engaging in risky sexual behavior with strangers to numb my emotional pain and feel a sense of control.

It's not about havin' someone to love me anymore This is the experience of bein′ an American whore
I have given up on finding true love and instead find temporary validation and satisfaction through casual sexual encounters.

Called up one drunk, called up another, Forensic Files wasn't on
I am constantly seeking distractions from my emotionally turbulent life.

Watching Teenage Diary of a Girl, wondering what went wrong
I am watching this show to relate to someone else's turmoil and avoid confronting my own issues.

I′m a princess, I'm divisive, ask me why, why, why I′m like this
I have an inflated ego and feel that I am different and misunderstood from others.

Maybe I'm just kind of like this, I don't know maybe, I′m just like this
I am unsure if my challenging personality traits are a choice or simply a part of who I am.

If I told you that I was raped Do you really think that anybody would think I didn't ask for it? I didn't ask for it
I feel victimized and that others may blame me for my own assault.

I won′t testify, I already fucked up my story On top of this, mm, so many other things you can't believe
I am struggling with deep trauma and don't feel that I can trust others with my true story.

God′s a charlatan, don't look back, babe Puts the shower on while he calls me Slips out the back door to talk to me
I feel disillusioned with religion and am involved in a relationship where the other person is cheating on their partner with me.

I′m invisible, look how you hold me I'm invisible, I′m invisible (here's my body, I'm available) I′m a ghost now, look how they found me
I feel that I am not truly seen and valued as a person, but rather only for my body and sexual availability.

Jimmy, Jimmy cocoa puff, Jimmy, Jimmy ride Jimmy, Jimmy cocoa puff, Jimmy get me high (oh my God)
I am speaking to a person named Jimmy who is my drug dealer.

Love me if you love or not, you can be my light Jimmy only love me when he wanna get high
I am using substances to escape my pain and am only interested in relationships that enable this behavior.

But I don't care, baby, I already lost my mind (mind, mind) If you light it up, it′s only in the club Your mom called, I told her, you′re fuckin' up big time
I am not in a stable state of mind and am taking drastic risks with substances and relationships despite the advice of those who care about me.

This is the experience of bein′ an American whore
I am embracing and owning the negative stereotypes and labels that have been placed upon me as a woman who is sexually and emotionally damaged.