All she needed were some stories to tell. But Pleasantville just didn't provide the proper inspiration. At 21 years old, Laura Dawn packed her bags and moved to New York City Believer is the soundtrack to her roller coaster life of the next few years. "I showed up in New York, straight from Iowa, with almost no money and not knowing a single soul. I started out living at the Lexington Avenue YMCA, and then graduated to a lower East Side squat on 13th St., where I was sleeping on a board on top of my suitcases. And within a couple of years, I'd become the singer in an all-girl art-punk band that ended up being a toast of the town for a while. We were going to all these decadent parties, drinking a lot, doing drugs for the first time. Hell, in Pleasantville, Iowa, the heaviest drug I'd ever seen was Budweiser! And now I'd gotten involved in this crazy scene. It was fun at first, but after a while, I really lost my way. I had to deal with some very intense personal trials--some serious heartbreak, a very close friend dying--and it just threw this life I was living into a new light. By the time that band broke up I felt so far away from the person I was when I came to New York in the first place, the one who wanted to be a real artist. So I just started writing, by myself, for the first time. I wrote so many songs, 50 or so. I had so many stories to tell from all those years of wrong turns and poverty and mayhem, trying to make it in New York City. And writing those songs saved me. I felt like I found myself again. I called my album Believer because I emerged with a faith that there had to be some purpose to my life, that there was some future ahead I couldn't possibly foresee that would explain everything."
Of course, her future was to take those amazing songs and bring them to the world. Laura began playing out with her powerful new material, and record labels immediately took notice. Within a few months of her first solo show, she'd landed a deal with Extasy Records International and began working on the album that was to become Believer—a collection of songs illustrating her early years in New York City. “I was very young, very independent and fearless, and very, very green,” Laura admits. "Let's just say I got into plenty of trouble, and sometimes didn't know how to get myself out it."
From the sexy punk edge of "Delicious," to the timeless, melancholy pop of "Useless in L.A., " to the innovative, gothic hard rock of the title track, Believer is an eclectic musical journey, brought together by Laura Dawn's consummate auteur songwriting and unique, infectious vocals. "People have told me I sound like a cross between Kim Deal and Dusty Springfield," says Laura, of a voice that goes from a breathy purr to a soulful wail. The album's sonic landscape is rich and varied, fusing rock guitar, bass and drum sounds with ethereal effects, drum loops, and textural instruments like electric cello and piano.
"I was inspired, in part, by Moby's Animal Rights," says Laura. "I wanted to make a pop album that was extreme, that could go from the most beautiful, sparse love song to the most solid, traditional pop songwriting, and then on to the most pounding punk rock. In a way, it's kind of a woman's version of emo-core. We worked very hard to keep it intimate and real, yet when it came time to blow your head off-well, I think some tracks rock very, very hard."
Laura enlisted producer Ted Niceley (Fugazi, Shudder to Think, Girls Against Boys), and a varied group of musicians, including legendary Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson, drummers Josh Freese (A Perfect Circle, The Vandals), Kevin March (Shudder to Think, Dambuilders), and guitarist Richard Fortus (Psychedelic Furs, BT, Love Spit Love), to work on the LP. Laura also had the chance to work with Yoshiki (Extasy Records CEO and President and former leader of the legendary Japanese rock group, X-Japan), who produced his favorite track "I Would," the album's lead single (written by Laura and Linus of Hollywood).
"In the best of all possible worlds," says Laura, "people will hear this album and realize that a woman can be sexy, smart, funny, vulnerable, foolish and bad-ass - sometimes, all at once. The song "Believer" kind of says it all for me, in a way. Being a believer, keeping the faith that there's purpose to your life, is certainly a double-edged sword. Faith is sexy, it's silly, it's moving and real and elusive. But it can be dangerous and destructive if it's not tempered with some experience and wisdom. I guess the main thing I learned from all my adventures is that sometimes it's important to just keep going on, whether you can find a reason to or not. No matter what life throws you, you gotta stay a believer, you know? We need more of them."
Free and Lonely Life
Laura Dawn Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Of a bottle and a can
And I've looked for the wonder
In the leather of a man
And it was never enough, you see
It was never quite enough for me
I knew there'd be hell to pay
Along the way
And I ask myself
In the middle of the night
Just who could love me
And if theres a light
That I've failed to see
That could save me
From this free and lonely life?
I looked to my mother
And she gave a steady hand
But she was short on answers
So I kept short on plans
I looked to the city
I took a hard, steady look at fame
And I laughed when I realized that it was
Just another empty name
And it, couldn't be enough, you see
No it, couldn't be enough for me
I knew there'd be hell to pay
Along the way
For living as I chose to
And I ask myself in the middle of the night
Just who could love me and if theres a light
That I failed to see
That could save me
From this free and lonely life?
Fair's just what you get away with
Eventually you don't miss what's not there
But I never figured out how to just not care
And maybe that's all I need, you see
Is for it to never be enough for me
I knew there'd be hell to pay
Along the way
For living as I chose to
I knew there'd be hell to pay
Along the way
For living as I chose to
Fair's just what you get away with x2
It's what you get away with
Yeah, it's what you get away with
In "Free and Lonely Life," Laura Dawn is exploring the idea of emptiness and the constant search for something more in life. She starts off by describing the different things she has looked to for fulfillment, including alcohol and men, but none of them have been enough. She realizes that living life on her own terms means facing the consequences, which can often be negative. In a moment of vulnerability, she questions whether there is anyone out there who could love someone like her and if there is some kind of salvation from the feeling of being free but also lonely.
She then looks to her mother and to fame for answers but finds that neither can satisfy her longing. She laughs at the notion of fame being fulfilling because it is just "another empty name." Despite knowing that there will be a price to pay for living life on her terms, she continues to do so. She realizes that what is considered "fair" by society is often just what people get away with, and she has learned to live without what is not there. However, she struggles with the idea of not caring and wonders if it is possible to find something that will be enough for her.
Overall, Laura Dawn's lyrics express the universal human experience of searching for something greater than ourselves and the struggle that comes with attempting to find fulfillment. The song highlights the fact that despite the moments of emptiness, there is hope that there is something out there that will be just enough to make life worth living.
Line by Line Meaning
I've looked to the bottom
Of a bottle and a can
I've tried to find happiness in alcohol and drugs
And I've looked for the wonder
In the leather of a man
I've tried to find fulfillment in relationships with men
And it was never enough, you see
It was never quite enough for me
I knew there'd be hell to pay
Along the way
For living as I chose to
But these things never brought me happiness and I knew I would face consequences for my choices
And I ask myself
In the middle of the night
Just who could love me
And if theres a light
That I've failed to see
That could save me
From this free and lonely life?
I often wonder if anyone could love me and if there's hope for a better life for me
I looked to my mother
And she gave a steady hand
But she was short on answers
So I kept short on plans
I turned to my mother for guidance, but she didn't have all the answers, so I felt lost
I looked to the city
I took a hard, steady look at fame
And I laughed when I realized that it was
Just another empty name
I sought fame and fortune but soon realized that it didn't bring me true happiness
Fair's just what you get away with
Eventually you don't miss what's not there
But I never figured out how to just not care
What is considered fair is often determined by what you can get away with, and eventually you stop caring about what's missing in your life, but I can't seem to do that
And maybe that's all I need, you see
Is for it to never be enough for me
Perhaps what I need is to never be satisfied with the status quo and always strive for something more
I knew there'd be hell to pay
Along the way
For living as I chose to
I knew that there would be negative consequences for living life on my own terms
Fair's just what you get away with x2
It's what you get away with
Yeah, it's what you get away with
What is considered fair is often based on what you can get away with and may not always align with what's truly fair
Lyrics © OBO APRA/AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
just just
I love this woman
asma khadir
still beautiful. i love her