One Way Widow
Les Savy Fav Lyrics

She was sweet sixteen, baby beauty queen.
At the age of sixteen, she was a beautiful and charming girl.

Straight white teeth, bathed in beauty cream.
She had white and straight teeth, and used beauty cream to enhance her beauty.

Priss don't drink and priss don't smoke.
She never drinks nor smokes, and portrays herself to be very delicate and refined.

Shit don't stink and don't take jokes.
She is very arrogant and doesn't take jokes or any criticism lightly, and thinks of herself as perfect.

Botoxed in bobby socks. Cold as ice.
She is cold and unmoved, with no emotional attachment to anyone, even after having botox surgery and wearing bobby socks.

All the boys were like white on rice.
Men were attracted to her beauty and personality, and she was very popular among them.

The end result is still the same, you can't go back the way you came.
No matter how much you try to change your appearance or your personality, you cannot change your true identity and nature.

Drunk on mint juleps on the tennis court, the wealthy widow wanted more than sport.
The rich widow was looking for more than just tennis on the court, and was probably seeking romantic company.

The tennis pro thought it was inappropriate, the wealthy widow thought that they should go for it.
The tennis pro believed that his relationship with the widow was inappropriate, while the widow disagreed and thought they should pursue it.

She giggled, pickled, tanned as leather.
She was pickled, or drunk, and had a dark tanned skin color.

Sacks of sand in her cashmere sweater.
She had breast implants and wore a cashmere sweater.

Oh Madame, the way you waste my time, it's so divine.
She is wasting the time of the tennis pro, and he finds it to be a divine experience.

Kissing the concrete you'd swear it was skin, her manicure secretes original sin.
The widow is so fake that even the concrete she steps on appears to be skin, and her manicure implies that she is sinful and not virtuous.

Oh Madame, your taste for steak and wine serves to impress me.
The tennis pro is impressed by the widow's taste for expensive things like steak and wine.

You're so vain, I bet you don't think this song is about you, profane Jane, go back the way you came, the end result is still the same.
The widow is very self-centered and doesn't think the song is about her, but the reality is that it is, and she should go back to where she started before it's too late.

So many eager sinners, only 7 deadly sins; Hell's so God damn crowded that there's no one getting in.
There are so many people committing sins, but there are only seven deadly sins, and Hell is so full that people cannot get in.

The line goes to the river Styx, but she can get you in.
The line to get to the river Styx, which symbolizes the afterlife, is usually long, but the widow can help you get in without waiting in line.

It was work, but the work was fun.
The work was challenging, but it was also enjoyable.

What will they say when they see what we done?
What will people say when they see what they have accomplished?

What will they say when they see what we do?
What will people say when they see what they are doing right now?

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-One of us has got to go.
One out of the two people must leave, either through natural causes or by force.

One of us has got to cum.
One of them has to experience an orgasm.

Bury me in mistletoe.
The singer wants to be buried under mistletoe, a plant used in Christmas decorations.

Put a dollar on my tongue.
The artist wants a dollar to be placed on his tongue after he passes away.

You're so vain.
The widow is very self-centered and thinks everything is about herself.