After releasing two albums with this line-up, Sal left due to musical differences, and recruited a drummer for the recording/touring of 'Soul Searching Sun.' Caputo felt that the band's original spirit had left the band, and decided to quit in 1997. After a tour with replacement vocalist Whitfield Crane, the singer from Ugly Kid Joe, the band officially disbanded in 1999.
In 2003, the band reunited with their original line-up and played two sold-out shows before their home-town crowd, receiving great reception. This eventually led to a new studio album in 2005, namely 'Broken Valley'. Caputo came out as transgender in 2011. The band broke up again in 2012.
In 2014 the original 'River Runs Red' line-up returned to stage for several gigs. Their latest album A Place Where There's No More Pain was released in 2017. An upcoming album 'The Sound of Scars' is set to be released in 2019.
How It Would Be
Life of Agony Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
The type of talk
The relationships we could have had
The three of us
Me, you, and dad
My mouth went dry
My stomach felt queasy too
So empty and scared
A dead body that turned out not to be dead
No one understands
Wish I really knew what happened to my mom
Because my family
They told me nothing but lies
They figured if they just told me the truth
I'd break down and cry
Feel betrayed and hurt
Profoundly insecure
Want to know ten times on Heaven's door
Still suffering from old emotional wounds
I was getting worse
Can't depend on them and their lies
Why did she leave?
How did she die?
And when it gets colder outside
I'll be back next year
With that feeling to make me cry
Wanna go visit her grave
Because it's been such a long, long time
Want to pick a peach rose
and rest it on its side
Say a prayer even though I don't believe
And say goodbye
Don't get me wrong
I have a mind to keep me strong
But there's this feeling of not knowing what went wrong
And how she's dead and gone
Don't think anyone thinks
Of you as much as I do
The song "How It Would Be" by Life of Agony is a powerful, emotionally charged track that deals with themes of loss, betrayal, and the struggle to find closure. The lyrics are particularly introspective, focusing on the singer's thoughts and feelings surrounding the death of their mother and the subsequent revelations and lies that came to light within their family. The song is written in the first-person perspective, giving the listener a deeply personal insight into the singer's inner turmoil.
Throughout the song, the singer reflects on how their life could have been different if their mother had not passed away. They imagine the type of relationship that they could have had with their mother and their father, and the feeling of loss and emptiness that they currently experience is palpable. The singer also touches on the fact that their family has been less than forthcoming about the truth behind their mother's death, leading to a sense of betrayal and insecurity. Despite these feelings, the singer remains determined to find closure, expressing a desire to visit their mother's grave and say goodbye.
Overall, "How It Would Be" is a poignant examination of grief, loss, and the search for meaning in the face of tragedy. The lyrics are raw, honest, and deeply personal, making for a powerful listening experience that is sure to resonate with anyone who has experienced the pain of losing a loved one.
Line by Line Meaning
I wonder how it would be if my mother was still around
Reflecting on what life would be like if my mother were still alive
The type of talk
The conversations we could have had
The relationships we could have had
The loving connections we missed out on
The three of us
Me, my mother, and my dad
My mouth went dry
Feeling anxious and nervous
My stomach felt queasy too
Physically affected by my emotions
So empty and scared
Feeling alone and frightened
It's all because of you
Blaming someone for the current state of affairs
A dead body that turned out not to be dead
Describing a traumatic experience and its lasting impact
No one understands
Feeling alone in my pain and confusion
Wish I really knew what happened to my mom
Longing for clarity about my mother's death
Because my family
Referencing those who kept information from me
They told me nothing but lies
Feeling deceived and betrayed
They figured if they just told me the truth
Explaining the reasons for not disclosing the truth
I'd break down and cry
Concerns about emotional breakdowns
Feel betrayed and hurt
Raw, emotional pain
Profoundly insecure
Internalizing the pain and feeling insecure
Want to know ten times on Heaven's door
Longing for an answer, seeking external validation
Still suffering from old emotional wounds
The past pain still lingers and affects the present
I was getting worse
The impact of the pain on the individual's mental health
Can't depend on them and their lies
Losing trust and faith in those who withheld information
Why did she leave?
Questioning why the mother is gone
How did she die?
Questioning how the mother passed away
And when it gets colder outside
Reflecting on the cyclical nature of seasons and emotions
I'll be back next year
Planning to revisit emotions and memories
With that feeling to make me cry
Embracing the painful emotions that lie ahead
Wanna go visit her grave
Desiring to connect with the physical remnants of my mother's passing
Because it's been such a long, long time
Acknowledging the passage of time since the mother's death
Want to pick a peach rose
Picking a flower as a symbolic gesture of remembrance
and rest it on its side
Arranging the flower in a specific way
Say a prayer even though I don't believe
Performing a spiritual act despite personal doubts
And say goodbye
Acknowledging the finality of the mother's passing
Don't get me wrong
Prefacing the upcoming statement
I have a mind to keep me strong
My internal strength keeps me going
But there's this feeling of not knowing what went wrong
The lingering doubt and confusion about the mother's death
And how she's dead and gone
The harsh reality of the mother's passing
Don't think anyone thinks
Questioning the thoughts and feelings of others
Of you as much as I do
Believing that my connection to my mother is unique and unmatched
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: ALAN ROBERT, JOEY ZAMPELLA, KEITH CAPUTO, SAL ABRUSCATO
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Lauren T
I wonder how it would be if my mother was still around
The type of talk
The relationships we could have had
The three of us
Me, you, and dad
My mouth went dry
My stomach felt queasy too
So empty and scared
It's all because of you
A dead body that turned out not to be dead
No one understands
Wish I really knew what happened to my mom
Because my family
They told me nothing but lies
They figured if they just told me the truth
I'd break down and cry
Feel betrayed and hurt
Profoundly insecure
Want to knock ten times on Heaven's door
Still suffering from old emotional wounds
I was getting worse
Can't depend on them and their lies
Why did she leave?
How did she die?
And when it gets colder outside
I'll be back next year
With that feeling to make me cry
Wanna go visit her grave
Because it's been such a long, long time
Want to pick a peach rose
and rest it on its side
Say a prayer even though I don't believe
And say goodbye
Don't get me wrong
I have a mind to keep me strong
But there's this feeling of not knowing what went wrong
And how she's dead and gone
Don't think anyone thinks
Hugo Chavez
LOA. I love this song. My mother passed on 3.13.2012. 3 days before her 57th birthday, and 6 days before the surgery that might have saved her life. I could not stop myself from crying. I was there for her the whole time. I was her only friend. I finally found out that I was human. Thank you GOD and LOA.
Hatmanmal
Not only humans love their mother!
Chris connell
My mom died 6 months later same age. All the love to ya hugo
Tony Mills
Mine died in 91. Fuck it
B P
Sorry man. It's one of the toughest things in life. We're grateful to have bands like this to get us through the hard times... Stay strong brother!
paidprojectkid
might be one of the greatest songs ever written. this album changed my life for the better. thanks LOA
Talynn Brielle
honestly this is the best song on the whole album..
frishnit
Thank you for posting. I loved every single track from this album: it is wonderful to hear the again.
yo sully
This song makes me wanna hug my mom
Joel March
Still as heartbreaking as it was when it came out