White Crime
Lil Dicky Lyrics

Lot of rappers talking that shit, not enough doing that shit
Many rappers talk about criminal activities but don't actually do them.

People acting like I ain't a fucking criminal
Despite my good behavior, people don't realize that I have committed crimes.

Like I ain't never doing dirt though
People don't believe I've committed crimes in the past.

Probably cause the way i'm doing shit is clinical
I commit crimes in a calculated and professional manner.

But i've been putting in some work, breh
I've committed many crimes.

I see you looking at me cynical, stop looking at me
I know you're judging me, so stop.

I ain't fucking with your smirk ho
I don't appreciate your smug attitude.

We've been doing shit, despicable
I've committed heinous crimes.

But we just keep it on a low, for example
I keep my criminal activities a secret.

Walk in to the movie with my pants full
I smuggle snacks into theaters.

Twix, bag of chips, plus a snapple
I bring a variety of food and drinks with me to the movies.

Stealing all the shampoos, from the hotel's pretty bathrooms
I steal shampoo from hotel bathrooms.

Cheating, i've been peekin' in the classroom
I've cheated on tests by looking at other students' papers.

Looking like a nice guy, 'til I take your motherfucking wi-fi
I act friendly until I steal your Wi-Fi.

And torrent every single song in my library
I illegally download music without paying for it.

Then I drive by very fucking high by everybody
I drive under the influence of drugs.

While my lady licking my five inch dick
During all of this, my partner is performing oral sex on me.

Doing business at the airport
I commit crimes at airports.

Ask security, I ain't fraught
Security knows I'm not up to anything suspicious.

Lot of shit up in my jansport
I carry illegal items in my backpack.

Six ounce of the face wash (the limit three)
I take more than the allowed amount of face wash on airplanes.

My duffle bigger than what can board
My luggage is too large to fit onto the plane.

My shuffle on during take-off
I use electronic devices during take-off, which is against regulations.

Will I help in an emergency? yeah, sure
I am willing to help in an emergency, despite my criminal activities.

Exit row, fingers straight crossed
I cross my fingers for good luck while sitting in the exit row.

Thinking dave's soft
People underestimate me.

But I know you see me j-walking
I jaywalk frequently.

Piss in public, no caution
I urinate in public without being discreet.

Halloween bucket? take one, fuck you thinkin' dave was
I take more than one piece of candy from Halloween candy bowls meant for kids.

Give me all your motherfucking chocolate, ho
I demand chocolate from others.

At the stop sign, never fully stopping though
I roll through stop signs without coming to a complete stop.

Filling water cups up, with a lot of coke
I take free cups meant for water and fill them with soda.

Egging homes, motherfucker, a lot of yolk
I have vandalized homes by throwing eggs at them.

Not alone up in this motherfucker, a lot of folks, been doing...
I am not the only one who participates in these criminal activities.

Even though the speeding limit sixty five
I exceed the speed limit while driving.

I'm doing seventy five without a seat belt on
I speed while also not wearing a seat belt.

And i've been texting, driving reckless
I use my phone while driving and drive recklessly.

I was seventeen when I first tried a guiness on the tennis team
I started drinking at a young age, even participating in underage drinking on my sports team.

We used to haze a lot of freshmen
I participated in hazing activities towards younger students.

Lil dicky put a hoop up in the street
I installed a basketball hoop without permission on a public street.

Without obtaining permission
I participate in illegal activities without seeking proper authorization.

From the city, and every christmas day
Even on holidays, I commit crimes.

I'm going to cinemas with single tickets to single flicks
I sneak into movies, buying a single ticket but watching multiple movies.

But go to additional pictures, sorry, but your boy is malicious
I intentionally deceive the movie theater in order to watch more movies than I paid for.

And back when I was eighteen, statutory raping
I committed a sex crime at a young age.

This little ho, even though we was dating
I committed sexual assault on someone I was in a relationship with.

And if I am taking public transportation
I commit crimes while using public transportation.

On the quiet train I might have a conversation
I ignore rules and have loud conversations on quiet trains.

Fuck it i'm the man
I have an excessive sense of entitlement.

Puitting trash up in some other people's cans though
I put my trash in other people's trash cans without permission.

At the work fridge, stealing can coke
I steal soda from my workplace's fridge.

And up at the holiday party, i'm grinding colleagues on the dance floor
I sexually harass coworkers at work parties.

Dick been rubbing against their assholes, say it's not
I claim that my actions are not sexual harassment, despite them being clearly inappropriate and unwanted.