King Liar
Lord Nelson Lyrics

I know some of you wouldn't believe me
Lord Nelson opens with the candid admission that some may doubt him, however, invites anyone to corroborate his story with his friend, Mackie.

But if I lie, ask me good friend Mackie
Lord Nelson assures that should there be any contradictions in his story, Mackie would verify the truth.

It was a big lying competition
Lord Nelson narrates how a grand competition was held to crown the best liar in the West Indies.

To see who they will crown as lying champion
The objective of the competition was to determine the most skillful liar who would win the ultimate crown.

Liars from all parts of the West Indies
Contestants came from every nook and cranny of the West Indies to compete for the top prize.

Big shot liars from all them foreign countries
Even foreign professional liars were invited to compete in the tournament.

From a field about a thousand or so entries
The contest had an enormous number of participants, estimated around a thousand or more.

In two days it boil down and leave just three
After two days of intense sessions, the contestants were reduced to three finalists.

I had my eye on Liar, The Lion
Lord Nelson expresses that he was rooting for Liar, The Lion to emerge as the winner.

Because I know he does come with some good ones
He had faith in Liar, The Lion because of his reputation for being a master of lies.

But they had a younger fellow name Debo
Lord Nelson mentions a younger contestant, Debo, who gave a tough fight to Liar, The Lion.

Come from some village there in Tobago
Debo hailed from a village in Tobago.

He say he father is Tobago's best fisherman
Debo bragged that his father was the best fisherman in Tobago.

Catch a fish a mile wide, eighty feet in span
Debo claimed that his father had once caught a fish that was a mile wide and eighty feet in length.

He had to tie it on he boat and swim back to land
Debo narrated how his father had to securely attach the fish to his boat and swim back to the shore to get his brother's help to pull the fish to the land.

To get he brother, Eric, to give him a hand.
Debo's father required the aid of his brother named Eric to pull the fish ashore.

You hear lie? That is lie!
The crowd expresses unbelief upon hearing Debo's story.

Lie? You hear lie?
The entire audience is in awe of Debo's storytelling ability.

[Teacher Percy say if you tell a lie
Lord Nelson inserts instructions given to him by Teacher Percy who warned that lying is a one-way ticket to hell.

You going to Hell as soon as you die.]
The warning about divine punishment for liars is reiterated by Teacher Percy.

Liar, The Lion, he laugh till he sweat
Lord Nelson narrates how Liar, The Lion found Debo's elaborately fabricated story amusing to the point of perspiring.

He say, Mister Debo ent say nothing yet
Liar, The Lion still believed that Debo had not yet delivered the most impressive lie in the competition.

If you really want to hear 'bout fishing
Liar, The Lion dared to challenge Debo on his own expertise and asked to share his own tale about fishing.

Let me blow your mind, now listen to something
Liar, The Lion claims that he could come up with an even more incredible fishing story that would leave everyone stunned.

When you talking 'bout fish, you just hit the spot
Liar, The Lion implies that Debo had touched on a subject that he was well-versed in, hence leading him to believe he could top Debo's story.

I was hoping you did, believe it or not
He further emphasized his enthusiasm to share his own experience with fishing.

The fish your father caught, to you it was great
Liar, The Lion exaggerates Debo's tale by telling him that his father caught a mere small fish.

But is them small fish my father does use for bait
Liar, The Lion adds that even the small fish caught by his father were only used as bait.

Lion went ahead on points in the show
Lord Nelson reveals that Liar, The Lion's performance put him in the lead among the other contestants.

Completely eliminated Mister Debo
In the end, Debo was knocked out of the competition due to Liar, The Lion's superior storytelling.

The next man to beat was Will, The Outrageous
Will, The Outrageous was the last opponent standing against Liar, The Lion.

He ask the judges if he could lie first
Will, The Outrageous requested to go first with a lie to contest Liar, The Lion's ability.

The judges asked Lion, the Lion agree
The judges granted permission for Will, The Outrageous to deliver his fictonal story and ensured Liar, The Lion is okay with it too.

Say, any topic Will pick is alright with me
Liar, The Lion accepted the challenge of any topic chosen by Will, The Outrageous.

He outrageous, I strong, let we meet head on
Liar, The Lion and Will, The Outrageous were both deemed equally good at lying, thus the competition was now down to the wire.

And when we done, see who head fit to wear the crown.
Liar, The Lion challenges Will, The Outrageous to see who should be wearing the ultimate crown after the competition is over.

The Outrageous say that he knew a tailor
Will, The Outrageous decides to regale the audience with his own fictitious story about a tailor.

Comes to making suit, the man is a master
Will, The Outrageous boasts about the tailor's superior skill in making suits.

If you show him a man coming 'round a corner
The tailor claimed to be so skilled that he could craft a suit by merely seeing a man walking around the corner.

He could make him a suit and don't even measure
Will, The Outrageous adds to the absurdity of his story by telling the audience that the tailor doesn't even need to take measurements.

And talking 'bout suit sitting down correct
Will, The Outrageous marvels that the suits made by this tailor fit so perfectly.

Expertly made and fitting perfect
The tailor's suit fit so well that it seemed tailored to perfection.

He used to sew for Shakespeare, make suit for Hamlet
To add credibility to his story, Will, The Outrageous claimed that the tailor had made clothes for famous literary characters like Shakespeare and Hamlet.

And up to this day he ent make a mistake yet!
Will, The Outrageous finishes by saying that the tailor has never made a single mistake to date.

You know the crowd went wild, they couldn't cool down
The audience gets completely enraptured by Will, The Outrageous's elaborate and impossible-to-believe story.

I say Liar, The Lion losing the crown
Lord Nelson speculates that Liar, The Lion may have relinquished his lead to Will, The Outrageous.

The judges brought the crowd back to order
The judges interject to bring order back to the audience following Will, The Outrageous's stunning story.

And asked the Lion to lie 'bout a tailor
The judges instructed Liar, The Lion to tell a story about a tailor in his own dictation.

He say, my man is the best, Rolfie is his name
Liar, The Lion starts with a claim that his tailor, Rolfie, was the best of them all.

Cutting cloth, making suit is his game
Liar, The Lion states that his tailor Rolfie is an absolute expert in the art of cutting cloth and making suits.

Don't show him the man, my tailor is class
Liar, The Lion asserts that his tailor doesn't require the physical presence of a customer to make a masterpiece of a suit.

Just show him the corner where the fella pass
Liar, The Lion states that just indicating the corner where the subject walked by is enough for his tailor to make a fine suit.

And he go make a suit, that is tailor!
Liar, The Lion's story about a tailor concludes in a declaration that his claims are factual and true.

You hear lie? King Liar!
Liar, The Lion solidifies his position as the undisputed liar king by telling the judges the story they wanted to hear.

[Teacher Percy say if you tell a lie
Lord Nelson inserts one last warning from Teacher Percy about the consequences of dishonesty.

You going to Hell as soon as you die.
The song ends with another warning about divine judgment against people who consistently lie.