Thumbs
Lucy Dacus Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

You hung up the phone
And I asked you what was wrong
Your dad has come to town
He'd like to meet
I said "You don't have to see him"
But for whatever reason you can't tell him no

So we meet him at a bar
You were holding my hand hard
He ordered rum and coke
I can't drink either anymore
He hadn't seen you since the fifth grade
Now you're nineteen and you're five-eight
He said "Honey, you sure look great
Do you get the checks I send on your birthday?"

I would kill him
If you let me
I would kill him
Quick and easy
Your nails are digging
Into my knee
I don't know
How you keep smiling

I love your eyes
And he has them
But you have his
'Cause he was first
I imagine my thumbs on the irises
Pressing in until they burst

I clear my throat
And say we ought to get home
He offers us a ride
I reply "No, that's alright"
And when we leave
You feel him watching
So we walk a mile in the wrong direction

I would kill him
If you let me
I would kill him
Quick and easy
Your nails are digging
Into my knee
I don't know
How you keep smiling
I don't know
How you keep smiling
I don't know
How you keep smiling

I wanna take your face between my hands and say
"You two are connected by a pure coincidence
Bound to him by blood, but baby, it's all relative
You've been in his fist ever since you were a kid




But you don't owe him shit even if he said you did
You don't owe him shit even if he said you did"

Overall Meaning

The song "Thumbs" by Lucy Dacus tells the story of a young woman who is forced to confront her estranged father who comes to town unexpectedly. The singer empathizes with her partner, who is clearly uncomfortable with the situation but feels obligated to meet with her dad. The singer offers to defend her and suggests that they leave, but the partner insists on seeing him. When they eventually meet at a bar, the dad is quick to compliment his daughter but also reminds her of the financial support he provides. The singer becomes increasingly hostile towards the dad and begins to imagine violent scenarios. The song ends with the singer wanting to reassure her partner that she is not defined by her connection to her father, and that she doesn't owe him anything.


The lyrics to "Thumbs" highlight the complex emotions that arise from family relationships, particularly the pressure to conform to societal expectations of what constitutes a "normal" family. The singer's desire to protect her partner is contrasted with the partner's sense of obligation to her dad. The themes of control, power, and dependence are also explored, as the dad tries to assert his influence over his daughter, who is now an adult.


Line by Line Meaning

You hung up the phone
I noticed something was wrong and asked you about it.


And I asked you what was wrong
I showed concern for you and wanted to know what was going on.


Your dad has come to town
You are uncomfortable because your dad is in town.


He'd like to meet
Your dad wants to see you.


I said 'You don't have to see him'
I reassured you that you don't have to see your dad if you don't want to.


But for whatever reason you can't tell him no
You feel obligated to see him even though you don't want to.


So we meet him at a bar
We arrange to meet your dad at a bar.


You were holding my hand hard
You were anxious and needed support.


He ordered rum and coke
Your dad ordered a drink.


I can't drink either anymore
I don't drink alcohol anymore.


He hadn't seen you since the fifth grade
Your dad hasn't seen you in a long time.


Now you're nineteen and you're five-eight
You've grown up a lot since your dad last saw you.


He said 'Honey, you sure look great
Your dad compliments you on your appearance.


Do you get the checks I send on your birthday?'
Your dad asks if you receive the birthday checks he sends you.


I would kill him
I am angry and protective of you.


If you let me
I would take action if you wanted me to.


Quick and easy
I would harm him quickly and with little effort.


Your nails are digging
You are so anxious that your nails are digging into my knee.


Into my knee
Your nails are hurting me, but I understand why you are doing it.


I don't know
I am amazed by how well you are handling the situation.


How you keep smiling
You are keeping a positive attitude even though you are uncomfortable.


I love your eyes
I love looking at you and how you express yourself.


And he has them
Your dad has the same eyes as you.


But you have his
You inherited your dad's eyes because he was your biological father.


'Cause he was first
You inherited your dad's physical traits because he was the first one to give them to you.


I imagine my thumbs on the irises
I have violent thoughts about harming your dad's eyes.


Pressing in until they burst
I imagine causing your dad extreme pain.


I clear my throat
I try to calm myself down and change the subject.


And say we ought to get home
I suggest that we leave the bar and go home.


He offers us a ride
Your dad offers to give us a ride home.


I reply 'No, that's alright'
I decline the offer politely.


And when we leave
We leave the bar.


You feel him watching
You sense your dad's eyes on you even though he isn't following us.


So we walk a mile in the wrong direction
We walk in the opposite direction of where we were headed to make sure your dad isn't following us.


I wanna take your face between my hands and say
I want to comfort you and offer words of wisdom.


'You two are connected by a pure coincidence
Your genetics are a coincidence and not something you chose.


Bound to him by blood, but baby, it's all relative
Although you are related, you don't have to let him control you.


You've been in his fist ever since you were a kid
You have felt trapped and powerless around him since you were a child.


'But you don't owe him shit even if he said you did
You don't owe your dad anything, even if he tries to make you feel guilty for not fulfilling his expectations.


'You don't owe him shit even if he said you did'
You are in control of your own life and are not obligated to do anything for your dad.




Lyrics © Hipgnosis Songs Group
Written by: Lucy Dacus

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Most interesting comment from YouTube:

@samgriffin8807

Lyrics: 
You hung up the phone
And I asked you what was wrong
Your dad has come to town
He'd like to meet
I said "You don't have to see him"
But for whatever reason you can't tell him no

So we meet him at a bar
You were holding my hand hard
He ordered rum and coke
I can't drink either anymore
He hadn't seen you since the fifth grade
Now you're nineteen and you're five-eight
He said "Honey, you sure look great
Do you get the checks I send on your birthday?"

I would kill him
If you let me
I would kill him
Quick and easy
Your nails are digging
Into my knee
I don't know
How you keep smiling

I lovе your eyes
And he has thеm
But you have his
'Cause he was first
I imagine my thumbs on the irises
Pressing in until they burst

I clear my throat
And say we ought to get home
He offers us a ride
I reply "No, that's alright"
When we leave
You feel him watching
So we walk a mile in the wrong direction

I would kill him
If you let me
I would kill him
Quick and easy
Your nails are digging
Into my knee
I don't know
How you keep smiling
I don't know
How you keep smiling
I don't know
How you keep smiling

I wanna take your face between my hands and say
"You two are connected by a pure coincidence
Bound to him by blood, but baby, it's all relative
You've been in his fist ever since you were a kid
You don't owe him shit even if he said you did
You don't owe him shit even if he said you did"



All comments from YouTube:

@JuliaRoshambo

lucy played this when she opened for Mitski in central park a couple years back. she asked the crowd not to film it—to my knowledge no one did. i was crying in the front row. i have been waiting for this to come out ever since.

@shuggafoxx7205

thank you. you saved my life.

@leaf9975

i'd forgotten about this memory
thanks for this

@user-ot7ue2yb2e

the subtle details of this song reveal so much. “your dad has come to town, he’d like to meet.” as in— he’s not calling to ask, or to tell them that he’s coming, he already showed up unannounced.

this song does a very good job of illustrating the perspective of loving someone who’s been through shit. you don’t have to know every single detail to know how much this has impacted the person you love. it’s a level up from “i’d help you bury a body, no questions asked.”

@katria1807

Thank you for the lines "you two are connected by pure coincidence
Bound to him by blood, but baby, it's all relative". It's a comforting thought for me, and I'm sure many people who had childhood trauma would find this relatable. We are all our own person no matter who we share our genes with, and yes, the apple can fall far from the tree and we are all worth loving 🖤

@erinelizabeth9554

The first time I heard this song, it popped up on Spotify while I was driving and I thought, "What is this?" I had to start it over. It made me cry and I had to pull my car off the road. I've never had such a visceral reaction to a song.

@Zanskarma

That was exactly me today. It caught me by surprise listening to Spotify driving home from work. I had to get off the highway before the tears obscured my view of the road.

@johnnycruzzz

same sis. came up on my discover weekly on my way to work and i thought what the fuck is this??? and i couldnt stop crying. came out of nowhere and everybody like you good?? very grateful to have this come into my life.

@phoebe_ophie

Yep yep, same. Was driving from Okie City to Saint Louis and had to stop on the shoulder of I-44 because this song just... hit me, like a Mack truck or a 200-pound weight.

@curtislindsey1736

Me too, I didn't know anything about the song. I'm really digging boygenius and wanted to check out their solo work. My god this song wrecked me. I wasn't expecting it at all.

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