CAM
Lyldoll Lyrics
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I wish I talked to my brother more
I wish I called my mother on the phone
I had the guts to be there for her
I should know I don't get goodbyes
You've been the same since dad died
Feel like my demon looks me in the eyes
I've been askin' it to take my life
I'm not one to break
But if feels like nobody fuckin' care about me
And cus I'm on the brink I've been twistin' things
Make it all about me
I don't wanna fake it, I keep feelin' fake
I don't wanna drink
But I'll drink myself to death if I can stop from feelin' unsafe
I feel unsafe with myself
Look me in the face, with myself
I feel unsafe with myself
Put me in the grave with myself
I'm sorry for
The things I know we never talk about
For bein' selfish like everyone else
Hurts in my chest when I leave you out
Overdose
I think it's time I maybe ask myself
I wanna know exactly how it feels
I wanna know exactly how it feels
I'm not one to break
But if feels like nobody fuckin' care about me
And cus I'm on the brink I've been twistin' things
Make it all about me
I don't wanna fake it, I keep feelin' fake
I don't wanna drink but I'll drink myself
To death if I can stop from feelin' unsafe
I feel unsafe with myself
Look me in the face, with myself
I feel unsafe with myself
Put me in the grave with myself
The lyrics to Lyldoll's song CAM are a raw and emotional representation of the artist's struggle with mental health and feeling disconnected from those around them. The opening lines express regret for not reaching out to loved ones more often and not being there for them in times of need. This is followed by a statement about the artist's demons, which they feel are looking them in the eyes and asking to take their life. The chorus repeats the sentiment that no one seems to care about the artist, and they are twisting everything to make it about themselves.
The second verse continues this theme, as the artist confesses that they feel fake and unsafe with themselves. They say that they would rather drink themselves to death than continue to feel this way. In the bridge, the artist apologizes for things they know they should have talked about, but instead they acted selfishly, which caused pain for those around them. The final lines of the song express a desire to understand what it's like to overdose, a poignant statement about the artist's desperation for relief from their emotional pain.
Line by Line Meaning
Comatose
Feeling emotionally numb and disconnected from everything and everyone
I wish I talked to my brother more
Regret for not having better communication and closer relationship with family
I wish I called my mother on the phone
Feeling guilty for not keeping in touch with loved ones who genuinely care
I had the guts to be there for her
Lacking courage to show love and support to those who need it most
I should know I don't get goodbyes
Realization that death and loss can happen unexpectedly without any closure
You've been the same since dad died
The trauma of losing a parent has caused lasting emotional pain that affects daily life
Feel like my demon looks me in the eyes
Feeling consumed and tormented by inner demons of depression and anxiety
I've been askin' it to take my life
Struggling with suicidal thoughts and a desire to end emotional pain
But if feels like nobody fuckin' care about me
Feeling overlooked and unimportant to others, leading to feelings of loneliness and despair
And cus I'm on the brink I've been twistin' things
Emotions are causing confusion and a distorted perception of reality
Make it all about me
Selfishness and self-absorption due to feelings of neglect and lack of attention from others
I don't wanna fake it, I keep feelin' fake
Desire to be genuine and authentic, but feeling like a fraud and disconnected from oneself
But I'll drink myself to death if I can stop from feelin' unsafe
Using alcohol as a coping mechanism to numb painful emotions and feel a sense of safety
I feel unsafe with myself
Feeling a lack of control and security within one's own mind and emotions
Look me in the face, with myself
Confronting one's own issues and struggles head-on, without distraction or avoidance
Put me in the grave with myself
Wishing for death as a means of escaping the emotional turmoil and pain
I'm sorry for
Apologizing for things that are difficult to talk about and face
The things I know we never talk about
Secrets and unspoken truths that create distance and tension in relationships
For bein' selfish like everyone else
Admitting to selfishness and recognizing that it is a common trait in many people
Hurts in my chest when I leave you out
Feeling guilty and regretful for not including others in one's life and decisions
Overdose
Contemplating the consequences and potential release of a drug overdose
I think it's time I maybe ask myself
Self-reflection and questioning one's own motives and feelings
I wanna know exactly how it feels
Curiosity and a desire to experience something new or different
Writer(s): William J Fuller, Shiloh Schramm
Contributed by Kylie S. Suggest a correction in the comments below.