Interlude #1
M-Project Lyrics

It took you until 22, 22, to go back to school
You procrastinated your education, and it wasn't until you reached the age of 22 that you finally decided to pursue your studies.

Thought you'd be at the supermarket your whole life
You had a limiting belief about your future, imagining a mundane existence working at a supermarket indefinitely.

Clearly therapy has not worked
Despite seeking professional help, it seems you are still struggling with your mental health issues.

And your anxiety is driving me up the walls
Your ongoing anxiety is so overwhelming that it is affecting not only you but also causing distress to those around you.

It's been too much
The accumulated weight of all these issues has reached an unbearable level.

It's been stressing me out
I am personally affected by the chaos and tension created by your situation.

You can't handle it
You are struggling to cope with the challenges and pressures in your life.

You can't handle any of it
Your inability to manage your problems is evident across all aspects of your life.

You still smoke weed
Your reliance on marijuana suggests you are using substances to escape your reality instead of confronting it.

And this whole little music thing that you have going on right now
You have embarked on a music career that seems more like a fleeting hobby than a serious pursuit.

Yeah, alright
I acknowledge your efforts, but I remain skeptical about the seriousness of your intentions.

Good luck with that
I wish you the best in your endeavors, despite my doubts.

It's never happening
I strongly believe you won't achieve the success you envision.

Ever
This is a definitive statement about the impossibility of your aspirations coming true.

Listen to me
I urge you to pay attention to what I have to say; it’s important.

You're a great guy, but I just
While I hold you in high regard as a person, I have to express my feelings candidly.

I can't do this
I have reached my limit, and I can no longer support the situation as it stands.

Fuck
I’m frustrated and overwhelmed by everything that's happening.

Ain't shit you can say to me that I haven't said myself five inches from a mirror
You can’t offer me any insights that I haven't already confronted and wrestled with in self-reflection.

Through all the shit I ever went through, my mind's my biggest fear
After experiencing various hardships, I recognize that my own thoughts and feelings are the most daunting challenges I face.

I never know what direction it's gonna take me in
My mental state fluctuates unpredictably, leaving me uncertain about where my thoughts will lead me.

Today I was fine
I experienced a moment of clarity and stability just today.

Tomorrow could be breaking down
But I know that this sense of well-being can quickly deteriorate into chaos at any moment.

And all this trauma that I got might not seem like much to you
The pain and suffering I carry may not resonate with others as deeply as it does with me.

But to me, it's a lot
However, these experiences weigh heavily on my heart and soul.

Probably why I smoke weed, all this pot
My use of marijuana is likely an attempt to numb the emotional pain that stems from my trauma.

All the Zoloft, therapy, meditation, hip-hop
I've sought various forms of help—medication, therapy, mindfulness, and creative expression—to manage my struggles.

All I wanted was respect
At the core of my journey, my longing for respect and validation from others has been a driving force.

Cause in school, I would never get a lot
During my school years, I struggled to gain the recognition and esteem I desperately craved.

I still think about those kids that always clowned me
The memories of being bullied and ridiculed still haunt me.

Picked on me, and pinned me to submission when I was thin
I was tormented and bullied into a submissive state during my more vulnerable moments.

Cause I didn't want to eat always fuckin' upset
My emotional struggles were so intense that they affected my appetite, leaving me frustrated and distressed.

And it wasn't too long ago
These painful experiences are not as distant as one might think.

Punchin' holes through the walls
In moments of rage and helplessness, I expressed my anguish by physically damaging my surroundings.

Drinkin' till I fall
I resorted to excessive drinking as a way to escape my reality.

Fuck my family
I feel disconnected and resentful toward my family during these turbulent times.

Fuck my friends
My relationships with friends seem insignificant when I'm struggling so deeply.

I don't care
In my despair, I find it hard to care about anything, even those close to me.

I'll end it all
I'm overwhelmed to the point where I contemplate the finality of life.

What about my baby nephews
I grapple with the thought of how my actions will affect my innocent family members.

Are they gonna grow to remember Matthew
I worry if they'll hold memories of me that are positive or if they'll only recall my struggles.

By the time your brain settles
When you finally find clarity in your thoughts, it will be too late.

Look at how much time has passed you
Take a moment to realize the time lost due to inaction and unresolved issues.

Look into a mirror
Face yourself honestly and confront what you see internally and externally.

You don't recognize who's staring
You may feel alienated from your true self and identity.

Back into your soul
It’s a profound reflection that reveals a disconnection from your deeper self.

It's kinda scary
Acknowledging this dissonance can be a frightening realization.

And all the changes that you don't see
There are subtle transformations happening within you that you are unaware of.

To yourself, you're transparent
You might feel invisible, as if your true struggles aren't visible to others or even yourself.

I don't even remember when my goatee filled in
Life's changes have occurred so gradually that I fail to notice the small yet significant transformations.

Just happened
These changes have occurred without me consciously acknowledging them.

All these grays that I've been
I've started to show signs of aging, symbolizing the toll my experiences have taken on me.

Cutting out my hair's
I began removing the physical manifestations of my stress, like graying hair.

Now I challenge
I now actively confront my limitations and push myself to grow.

Six years I've been at this talent
I've dedicated a significant amount of time honing my craft and skills.

And they still tell me I stink
Despite my dedication, there are still critics who dismiss my efforts or talents.

Relationships I doubt it
I am uncertain about whether I can build meaningful connections with others.

Ever will happen
My skepticism leads me to believe that genuine relationships are out of reach for me.

Find the one for me
I yearn to discover a partner who will truly understand and accept me.

Who can put up with all of me
I hope to find someone who can embrace my complexities and imperfections.

And I'm still looking for bread to buy a snack
I am struggling financially and even the basics, like snacks, are a challenge.

From the Dollar Tree
My financial situation is so dire that I have to rely on discount stores for essentials.

Cause all the money I make
I invest all of my earnings back into my passions or dreams rather than saving.

I funnel back into the vision
Every bit of income is redirected toward pursuing my long-term goals.

But this tunnel is getting longer by the second
The journey to my aspirations feels increasingly daunting and never-ending.

It's almost like I see the end
I occasionally glimpse the potential success and fulfillment ahead.

And it's starting to look majestic
The reward for my struggles starts to appear beautiful and desirable.

And I get pulled back by the necklace
But I experience setbacks or distractions that hinder my progress.

But it's like you almost expect it
Such difficulties are anticipated, given the nature of my journey.

Give me a sign that I got it
I seek validation or reassurance that I am on the right path.

Cause now my pockets are skinny as anorexics
I am financially struggling and scraping by with very little money.

I'm scraping up pennies
I am forced to gather whatever spare change I can find.

To eat on my lunch break
I rely on these small savings just to afford meals during work.

While working OT on a Sunday
I work extra hours even on weekends to make ends meet.

I already skipped breakfast
My hardships are so profound that I often forego basic meals.

It's like you though you knew where you're going
I initially believed I had a clear sense of direction in life.

But turns out you were headless
However, I've come to realize that I feel lost and directionless.

From hospital psych offices
I've spent time in mental health facilities, seeking help for my struggles.

No scientist, my hypothesis
I’m not a trained expert, yet I have my own theories about success.

I'm achieving everything they said I couldn't and left me to rot
Despite the doubts of others, I am proving them wrong by achieving my goals.

I joke I am not
Though I use humor to cope, I am very serious about my capabilities.

I'll tag you punks when I'm posted up
One day, I'll succeed, and I'll make sure those who doubted me know it.

One day
I believe in the inevitability of my future success.

No matter how long it happens
Regardless of how long it takes to reach my goals, I will remain persistent.

I won't give up till I am collapsing
I will continue to strive and fight until I am utterly exhausted.

Life a Nate Dogg and Eminem soundtrack
My life feels like a mix of struggles and triumphs akin to popular hip-hop tracks.

College drop out
I left college without completing my degree, indicating a divergence from conventional paths.

At least I wasn't held back
However, I take pride in the fact that I have moved forward on my own terms.

Went from picked on and shy to
I've transformed from a bullied and introverted individual to someone more assertive.

The same energy as a Hellcat
I now possess a fierce determination and drive akin to a powerful performance vehicle.

Used to rap in high school
In my past, I expressed myself through rap music during my teenage years.

People told me 'Matt, you shouldn't sell that'
I received negative feedback from others who doubted my talent.

Now I'm popping
Today, I am gaining traction and recognition in the music scene.

Like a gel cap
My rise to success is fast and notable, much like a product that takes effect quickly.

Still broke though
Despite my burgeoning career, I’m still dealing with financial struggles.

Oh well that's all gonna change
I remain hopeful that my financial situation will improve in due time.

Soon enough my wishing well at full capacity
I have faith that my desires and aspirations will be fulfilled shortly.

I been praying like apostles
I consistently seek spiritual guidance and hope for better days ahead.

Lot of reasons to not
Although there are many challenges that could deter me, I refuse to give in.

I'll never stop though
My determination fuels me, propelling me forward despite obstacles.

Put way too much into this game
I've invested a significant portion of my life and effort into pursuing my passion.

To walk away
I am not willing to abandon my dreams, regardless of the hardships.

Even if I'm on ice like Gretzky
Much like the famed hockey player Wayne Gretzky, I may stumble but I will continue to pursue my dreams.

Wayne
The reference emphasizes the inspiration and motivation I derive from successful figures.

I just can't
I am resolute in my commitment; walking away from my passion is not an option.

Walk away
I refuse to turn my back on what I love, no matter the difficulties.

I don't know
I find myself grappling with uncertainty and confusion.

What it is
I struggle to articulate what drives my passions and motivations.

I'm just in love with this game
Ultimately, my affection for pursuing my art and ambitions keeps me going.

I'm taking over this shit yo
I am determined to assert myself and make my mark in the music industry.

You probably didn't even see it coming
Many have underestimated my potential, not expecting my rise to prominence.

A lot of trial and error
My journey has involved many mistakes and failures that have shaped my growth.

But great things take time
I understand that achieving something meaningful requires patience and perseverance.