Our story begins back in 1993.In Sonta(near Apatin),the band was wormed and start to practice very hard.Back then our favorite bands were S.O.D. and D.R.I…Our first live show in front of full concert hall was in summer 1993 and since then and until today we live for music.
After this event we had few small gigs,until the winter 1994 when the band broke up,but me(Blaza)stayed to get together new band members.1994 was remembered by few club gigs in Sonta,and new line up showed potential for further work.
In summer 1995 second line up had big success,and the band was accepted by metal fans as really good deathrash band.But only third line up could be considered as serious band.The band continued to work in old school metal stile.
1996 was good year for the band,we played many gigs,and we started appearing in Yugoslavian and foreign fanzines,and we made many friendships.
1997 band made important decision to go in studio MATRIX,and in August 1997 record the debut demo.Material got good critics in many fanzines and at many metal fans.Many people compare us with Gorefeast and Benediction, probably because of really brutal vocal.
But demo material got in to the wrong hands,to people who called them selves publishers so the band promotion went very bad and band was forced to do the self release of first debut demo “Prisoner of the Damned”.You can still odder demo for the 3DM(postage and packing included).
1998 band was practicing new material and band was on two compilations.
First one is called :”Kompilacija za Decu bez roditelja “(Benefit compilation for children with out parents) which was published by Sombor’s underground fans.On this compilation you can find our two songs “Tamnica” and “TheBeggar” this compilation was distributed also in Makdonija so our friends done the right thing and we are really grateful to them.Unfortunate this compilation is no longer in sales but if anybody is interested can send me the blank tape and I will record it to him.
But M.A.D. also appeared on another compilation : “Underground metal compilation”.
On this compilation there are many metal bands from ex Yugoslavia.
In year 1999 there were big changes in the band,and from now there is only 3 of us(before there were 4 band members guitar,vocal,drums,and bass).Band also changed name in to “GOYA” and start playing completely new songs.In November/December 1999 began first success of band(we had two gigs) and band was well accepted from the metal fans.
Now Blaza was guitar/vocal,Toma drums and Misko bass.The M.A.D. demo was played on several music stations(on radio show :”High Voltage” radio 021, www.radio021.co.yu )
In year 2000,band could be found on biggest ever made metal compilation Scream Until you like it http://www.rockexpress.org/rexrecords/scream.html that was released by rock express www.rockexpress.org
The in June 2000 Misko self the band and Ivan came and replace him.
In period Jul-October band had many successful and few bad gigs.
The best gig was in Kikinda and Ada where many metal fans gathered to support many YU underground metal bands along with GOYA.Also GOYA got positive critics in metal fanzines from all over Yugoslavia.
The bands current line up:
Blaza -vocal/guitar
Karci -bass/back up scream vocal
Toma -drums/back up vocal
I Hate You
M.A.D: Goya Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I've hated myself for you
Feel free that's alright, I'm terrified
I hate myself for you
Ooh
Don't you see, I hate myself for you (x2)
All my life, I hate myself for you
So why do they think I have this "Buddha gene"
When I can hardly see the angels
I hate myself for you
They're amazed, I can rape my own emotions
So sometimes it's horrible to be me
Defending myself against me drives me crazy
Martyrdom is healthy
Martyrdom is healthy
Ooh
Don't you see, I hate myself for you (x2)
Armageddon knows I'll b good to you
I can hardly see the angels
I hate myself for you
But I don't know the reasons why the angels sing to you
I feel just like Joseph
I feel just like Joseph
I hate myself for you
Ooh
Don't you see, I hate myself for you (x2)
The song "I Hate You" by Goya is a dark and emotional track that explores the complex and conflicting feelings of self-hatred and devotion. The lyrics suggest a sense of internal struggle between the desire to please someone else (presumably a lover) and the overwhelming sense of self-loathing that stems from this unrequited love. The opening lines "Don't waste your precious light, all my life I've hated myself for you" convey a deep sense of regret and wasted potential, as if the singer's love for someone else has prevented them from achieving personal fulfillment.
As the song continues, the lyrics become more introspective, with lines like "So why do they think I have this 'Buddha gene' when I can hardly see the angels?" suggesting a spiritual crisis or identity confusion. The repeated refrain of "I hate myself for you" speaks to the contradictory emotions at play, hinting at the idea that the singer's devotion to someone else has caused them to betray themselves in some way. The lines "Defending myself against me drives me crazy/Martyrdom is healthy" suggest a willingness to suffer for the sake of this love, as if the singer believes that their pain is somehow noble or justified.
The song concludes with the lines "But I don't know the reasons why the angels sing to you/I feel just like Joseph/I feel just like Joseph/I hate myself for you". These final lyrics are ambiguous, but seem to suggest a sense of abandonment or rejection, with the singer feeling as though they are being punished for their devotion. The use of the biblical figure Joseph adds another layer of meaning, hinting at the idea of being sold into slavery (as Joseph was) or being unfairly cast out of one's community. All in all, "I Hate You" is a powerful and emotionally resonant song that explores the complexities of love and self-loathing in a raw and unflinching way.
Line by Line Meaning
Don't waste your precious light, all my life
I have spent my whole life despising myself for you, so don't waste your positive energy on me.
Feel free that's alright, I'm terrified
You are allowed to feel free and happy, but I am scared and consumed by self-loathing.
I hate myself for you
My feelings of self-hatred are directly linked to you and our relationship.
Too weak, too divine
I am both too weak and too divine to handle these conflicting emotions and feelings of self-loathing.
So why do they think I have this "Buddha gene"
Despite being told I have a serene nature like Buddha, I am unable to achieve inner peace and still hate myself for you.
When I can hardly see the angels
Despite the possibility for spiritual enlightenment and divine intervention, I am unable to see any angels or experience any relief from my self-hatred.
They're amazed, I can rape my own emotions
Those around me are bewildered that I am capable of destroying my own emotions through self-hatred.
So sometimes it's horrible to be me
At times, my self-loathing is so intense that I am appalled to be myself.
Defending myself against me drives me crazy
Attempting to defend myself against my own emotional attacks often results in me feeling insane or unhinged.
Martyrdom is healthy
The self-destructive nature of my self-loathing behavior, while damaging, is oddly comforting for me.
Armageddon knows I'll b good to you
Even in a catastrophic scenario, I am still devoted to you and will treat you well.
But I don't know the reasons why the angels sing to you
I am unsure of why you are deserving of divine intervention, yet I continue to struggle and endure my self-hatred.
I feel just like Joseph
Like the biblical figure Joseph, I feel isolated and abandoned by those around me, adding to my feelings of self-loathing.
Don't you see, I hate myself for you (x2)
Through repetition, it is made clear that my self-hatred is inextricably linked to my relationship with you.
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Royalty Network
Written by: ATTRELL STEPHEN JR. CORDES, Attrell Cordes
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind