Myself
M. Heavenly Lyrics


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Don't waste your precious light, all my life
I've hated myself for you
Feel free that's alright, I'm terrified
I hate myself for you

Ooh
Don't you see, I hate myself for you (x2)
Too weak, too divine
All my life, I hate myself for you
So why do they think I have this "Buddha gene"
When I can hardly see the angels
I hate myself for you

They're amazed, I can rape my own emotions
So sometimes it's horrible to be me
Defending myself against me drives me crazy
Martyrdom is healthy
Martyrdom is healthy

Ooh
Don't you see, I hate myself for you (x2)

Armageddon knows I'll b good to you
I can hardly see the angels
I hate myself for you

But I don't know the reasons why the angels sing to you
I feel just like Joseph
I feel just like Joseph
I hate myself for you





Ooh
Don't you see, I hate myself for you (x2)

Overall Meaning

In "Myself", M. Heavenly expresses the inner battle of self-hatred and self-doubt that one can experience in a relationship. The lyrics convey the message that the singer is willing to sacrifice their own self-worth and positive emotions to please their significant other. The opening line "Don't waste your precious light, all my life, I've hated myself for you" shows that the singer has been living a life of self-loathing, likely as a result of their partner's actions or words towards them. The repetition of "I hate myself for you" emphasizes the main theme of the song and how the singer is willing to blame themselves for their partner's mistreatment.


The lines "Too weak, too divine, all my life, I hate myself for you" reveal the singer's perception of themselves as inferior to their partner, yet still willing to strive for their affection. The mention of the "Buddha gene" alludes to the idea that the singer perceives themselves as being on a higher spiritual plane, but still lacks the insight and understanding to improve their situation.


The chorus, "Don't you see, I hate myself for you", is a plea to the significant other, highlighting the pain and suffering the singer endures in the relationship. The line "Martyrdom is healthy" suggests that the singer sees their self-sacrifice as a form of nobility, but this belief is itself self-harming.


Overall, "Myself" is a raw depiction of the negative emotions one can experience when in a toxic relationship. The lyrics reveal that the singer has internalized their partner's neglect and emotional abuse to the extent that they have started to believe that they are the cause of their own suffering.


Line by Line Meaning

Don't waste your precious light, all my life
I have spent my entire life trying to please you and it feels like all my potential and energy is wasted in the process.


I've hated myself for you
Your expectations have made me hate myself because I can never seem to meet them.


Feel free that's alright, I'm terrified
I want the freedom to be myself but I'm scared of your judgment and criticism.


I hate myself for you
My self-hate is directly related to my desire to please you.


Ooh
Interjection/expression of emotion.


Too weak, too divine
I feel like I have to be both strong and perfect to meet your expectations, but those ideals are conflicting.


So why do they think I have this "Buddha gene"
People assume I have some innate ability to be calm and self-assured, but that couldn't be further from the truth.


When I can hardly see the angels
I struggle to see the good in myself or my situation, even though others may perceive it clearly.


I hate myself for you
Again, my self-hate is linked to trying to please you.


They're amazed, I can rape my own emotions
People are impressed that I can endure so much self-hate and criticism without breaking, but it's a toxic cycle.


So sometimes it's horrible to be me
The burden of trying to please you is overwhelming and makes me hate myself even more.


Defending myself against me drives me crazy
Trying to justify my actions or thoughts to myself is exhausting and frustrating.


Martyrdom is healthy
My sacrificing my own well-being for yours is seen as virtuous, but it's really just a form of self-harm.


Armageddon knows I'll b good to you
I'm willing to do anything to keep you satisfied, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness or security.


But I don't know the reasons why the angels sing to you
I don't understand why you like me or want me in your life when I hate myself so much.


I feel just like Joseph
Referring to the Bible story of Joseph who was unfairly punished for doing the right thing. The artist likely feels similarly persecuted for trying to please the other person.


I hate myself for you
Final repetition of the central theme that the artist's self-hate is rooted in their desire to please the other person.


Ooh
Interjection/expression of emotion.




Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: ATTRELL STEPHEN JR. CORDES

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

@Dee-Bell46

I lost my daughter two weeks ago at the age of 19 years old she took her own life. I've been crying everyday since I can't stop the tears from coming out my eyes. I had to come back to this song for a moment of relief. A part of me has left with her and I'll never be the same again. I love you always and forever Brianna Bell ❤️

@chellerider1595

Keep god n you one love

@Dee-Bell46

@@chellerider1595 Thank you ma'am

@PK-tm8qg

Lord Jesus— sending love and prayers

@reatherharris8120

💜🕊

@MichaelJohnson-tr9ms

God bless you Briother

35 More Replies...

@stevesummers9945

No more jealousy, no more hatred, no more envy,.... but everyday !!! Thank you lord! YES!

@ChristinaMarieAngelicque-vc3nx

NO MORE BEING TOLD NO, BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN CRIPPLED!

@antoinette8405

This song brings back so many memories of my mother and father.

@peggyoneal325

At 41 years old, My Baby Brother found a choir that would let him sing.......He found that choir on
Sunday December 5, 2021.....
He was saved, KNEW GOD, and living for GOD..... THANK YOU, LORD!

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