Wanted
Madchild Lyrics

Yo man
Casual greeting

Hey
Informal acknowledgement

Think about it
Requesting reflection

I went so
Had success in the past

I got so far up man
Reached a high level of success

Nearly I hit this plateau
Approaching a level of stagnation

Then I started focusing on partying and shit
Began prioritizing leisure activities

Then started popping those dam Percocets
Began abusing prescription painkillers

With drinking and fuck my whole shit up
With alcohol, ruined everything

It's the dawning of a new era
A new chapter is beginning

Tattooed, broken tooth and new era
Self-identified physical traits

I ain't where I'm supposed to be its a true terror
Feels lost and in a bad place

I ain't tripping I ain't cripping but I'm blue mirror
Feels trapped and hopeless

Mirror mirror on the wall do you remember me?
Asking for recognition and reflection

Was the fairest of them all
Was successful and respected

Then I dropped the ball And I was holding flats
Made a mistake and lost what I had

Sometimes I feel like there's nobody that can hold me back
Believes in own potential

And sometimes I feel like its a wrap, I'm living in a trap
Feeling powerless and stuck

I'm giving all I got but they ain't giving nothing back
Feeling unappreciated

I'm battling depression in my head
Struggling with mental illness

I'm trying but I'll prolly be aggressive 'til I'm dead
Struggles with anger management

And everybody knows of my addictive personality
Acknowledges problem with addiction

I chased my dream but I'm not living in reality
Dreams not matching reality

Cards are stacked against me too much time lost
Facing challenges and loss

God please help me, why?
Begging for divine intervention

'Cause I'm lost
Feels lost and hopeless

It's pretty crazy when your dreams were so close
Once felt close to achieving dreams

You could touch em now they seem like old ghosts
Dreams now feel unachievable

Now my memories are haunted, hope that they remember me
Haunted by regrets

And maybe they still wanted
Hopes dreams are still possible

Look, I ain't got a lot of time left
Feels like time is running out

Got a team but they don't seem to take no fucking giant steps
Disappointed in lack of progress from team

I try to tell em I could use a little help
Asking for support

That's exactly what they give me, gotta do it all myself
Team not providing enough help

Most rap performers are just transformers
Many rappers are fake

Pretend to be crazy, I pretend to be normal
Presents as stable despite mental struggles

When listening to mad they immediately struck
Fans relate to Madchild's lyrics

Then immediately after, they realized he's really fucked
Fans realize how much Madchild is struggling

I got no disguise concentrating on my art
Authenticity in music

Mentally demented I'm a monster in the dark
Acknowledges struggles with mental health

Little monster drinking monster walking in the park
Metaphorically discusses addiction

With my dogs talking awkwardly but obviously sharp
Discussing with friends who understand

They're asking me to make a club song on dub step
Labeled a sell-out by industry

It's where the money at but that shit made me upset
Prioritizing authenticity over money

Maybe I am focused on my pride a little too tough
Acknowledge ego getting in the way

Or maybe I just love hip-hop a little too much
Passionate about craft

I got a dark past hoping it'll disappear
Trying to move on from past mistakes

But with the internet they still see it crystal clear
Can't escape past mistakes in digital age

I need more time walking on the right path
Trying to improve oneself

'Cause I've been fighting with myself it's time to fight back
Struggling with internal conflicts

I've done damage to my brain I've done damage to my teeth
Physical toll of addiction

All this damage on the surface just imagine underneath
Physical damage not just surface-level

And life can be a beach with a beach chair
Life can be easy

Damaged goods broken down need to be repaired
Recognizes need for improvement

Hard for me to transcribe the pain inside
Difficult to express internal struggles

Doing drugs five years 'til it drained me dry
Addiction caused problems for years

And if I knew back then what I know now
Regrets not knowing better

I would've saved up cash would've slowed down
Would've made different choices

Would've spread love would've gave back
Would've been charitable

Would've help show kids that there's a right track
Wants to be a positive influence

I would've kept writing; kept making music
Would've stayed true to passion

Kept Battle Axe; kept executive producing
Would've kept professional ties

But now I'm back and I'm still alive
Returned to music after struggles

So I will give it all I got 'til they feel my vibe
Will work hard to make an impact

I'm hoping and I pray they understand me
Wants to be understood

'Cause if they don't fuck it's too late to make a plan B
No other options if not successful in music

Still gotta open window
More opportunities to come

I'm gonna do one more big lap
Keep striving for success

Before I'm gonna call it a wrap
Before quitting music

I know I still got what it takes
Believes in own ability

Fuck these little posers
Dislikes disingenuous artists