Calling Cards
Madness Lyrics


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A sorting office in the Old Kent Road
Caters from coast to most
A nice little number if you're out of work
And aren't the sort to boast,
you're in need of a job, bob-a-job, rob-a-job
I'm your man to see
I'll sit I'll listen I'll not say a word
The less said would be best for we

Oh, what a firm of naughty boys
Oh, I've been a naughty boy

We don't want to mark each other's card
Except the one you need
I need you and your returns to help
Build my company.
My twins work Brighton on a sunny day
They cover town with the shake of a hand
On a high come back 'cause of no come back
Now they're working in the promised land.

Oh, what a pair of naughty boys
Oh, I've been a naughty boy

(The Allied Irish Cyprus Bank)
(India Bank Bank of Turkey)
(United Bank The People's Bank)
(To catch the worm you got to be up early)

Temporarily out of bounds had to move office
Clear out of town
For every problem there's a solution and
I can do without constitution
Dealing cards from up the Old Kent Road
I've been checked up on my heavy load
You can go but be back soon
I'll have some work for you to groom.

Oh, what a lot of naughty boys
Oh, I've been a naughty boy

(Trustees Bank, Barclays Bank)
(The Natwest Bank, Midland Bank)
(Bank Of Scotland, Williams and Glyns)
(Bureau de Change, The People's Bank)

Oh, what a lot of naughty boys
Oh, what a pair of naughty boys




Oh, what a firm of naughty boys
Oh, I've been a naughty boy

Overall Meaning

The Madness song "Calling Cards" is an upbeat, cheerful tune, but beneath the surface lies a tale of shady dealings and underground job markets. The song is about a "sorting office" in the Old Kent Road, which is a location in southeast London. The sorting office is not a legitimate business, but rather it's a place where people in need of work can go to find employment, no questions asked. The singer of the song is offering his services to anyone who needs them, promising to listen, but not say too much, as it's important to keep things under wraps.


The lyrics suggest that the work being offered is not entirely legal or above board. The phrase "bob-a-job, rob-a-job" implies that the work being offered might be of a criminal nature. The song also mentions "returns" and "dealing cards," which further support the idea that these jobs involve some sort of financial impropriety. The chorus speaks of "naughty boys," which could be interpreted as a euphemism for criminals, or at the very least, those who engage in illicit activity.


Despite the slightly ominous tone of the lyrics, the song is performed with a sense of fun and lightheartedness. The upbeat music and catchy melody disguise the darker themes, making it an example of Madness's unique style of blending upbeat tunes with lyrics that explore the seedier side of life.


Line by Line Meaning

A sorting office in the Old Kent Road
There is a sorting office in Old Kent Road


Caters from coast to most
The sorting office serves a vast area


A nice little number if you're out of work
It is a good opportunity if you are unemployed


And aren't the sort to boast
If you are not someone who brags


you're in need of a job, bob-a-job, rob-a-job
If you need a job, any job


I'm your man to see
I'm the one who can help you


I'll sit I'll listen I'll not say a word
I will listen without saying anything


The less said would be best for we
It's better not to say much about it


We don't want to mark each other's card
We don't want to damage each other's reputation


Except the one you need
Except for the one that is necessary


I need you and your returns to help
I need you and your profits to grow my business


Build my company
To make my business stronger


My twins work Brighton on a sunny day
My associates work in Brighton on a nice day


They cover town with the shake of a hand
They can accomplish a lot just by talking to people


On a high come back 'cause of no come back
They are successful and feel good because they face no consequences


Now they're working in the promised land
Now they are working in a place where there are many opportunities


Temporarily out of bounds had to move office
Had to move my office for a short period of time


Clear out of town
Moved far away from the town


For every problem there's a solution and
There is always a solution to every problem


I can do without constitution
I can handle things myself without any laws or rules


Dealing cards from up the Old Kent Road
Operating a business from the Old Kent Road


I've been checked up on my heavy load
My business has been inspected to see if everything is legal


You can go but be back soon
You can leave, but you must come back soon


I'll have some work for you to groom
There will be some work for you to do when you return


(Trustees Bank, Barclays Bank)
Names of some banks


(The Natwest Bank, Midland Bank)
Names of some more banks


(Bank Of Scotland, Williams and Glyns)
Names of yet more banks


(Bureau de Change, The People's Bank)
Names of other financial institutions


Oh, what a lot of naughty boys
Oh, there are a lot of people doing illegal things


Oh, what a pair of naughty boys
Oh, there are some people doing illegal things


Oh, what a firm of naughty boys
Oh, there is a company of people doing illegal things


Oh, I've been a naughty boy
Oh, I have done something illegal myself




Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: CATHAL JOSEPH SMYTH, CHRISTOPHER FOREMAN, CHRISTOPHER JOHN FOREMAN, DANIEL MARK WOODGATE, GRAHAM MCPHERSON, LEE THOMPSON, LEE JAY THOMPSON, MARK WILLIAM BEDFORD, MICHAEL BARSON

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

Dan Fossard

One of my favourite ever Madness album tracks. Especially that bit at 1:13!!!! It's just genius! :o) 

modsheff1

Fuckin tune!

Greatest1979

One of my faves as well. It has that quintessential nutty Madness sound which I love so much and of course that piano of Barso...!!!

Marcelo Mapelman

La producción!! El piano!!

Youk Youk

Tout l' Album est Génial . Et l' écouter en 2022 et ma madeleine de Proust !

kevin ska'd 4 life

One of their very best tunes

Carl Dyson

Classic Madness absolutely brilliant

Marcelo Mapelman

El diálogo en 055 es inolvidable

Wilf Marshall

Bloody amazing!!!

Brian Davis

Think about it this is how rapping started 🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪😎

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