Confessions
Madonna Lyrics

I have a tale to tell
I have a story to share about my past experiences

I was three feet from the floor, gasping for air
I felt like I was suffocating and felt powerless

Trying to release my fathers hands from my throat
My father was choking me and I was trying to escape

I looked into his eyes and wondered
I questioned my father's actions and motives

If my feet would ever touch the floor again
I was unsure if I would survive the experience

Have you ever been hit so hard
Have you ever experienced physical or emotional pain?

That it sends your body flying across the room
That the pain is so intense, it feels like you're being thrown around

We all fall to the floor at some point
We all experience hardship or pain in our lives

It's how you pick yourself up, that's the real challenge, isn't it?
The real challenge is how you overcome adversity and move forward

I've always lived in my own world, I dance to escape my troubles
I find solace and escape by dancing

I've learnt that there's light even in the darkest places
I've learned that there can be hope even in the bleakest of situations

I can't blame my father for anything
I don't hold my father responsible for my past experiences

You can't rely on other people to make you happy
Happiness has to come from within, not from external sources

But I know deep down inside he loved me
Despite our past, I believe my father loved me in his own way

It was a time I suffered so much
I went through a period of intense suffering

I wanted to get it out of me
I felt the need to express my pain somehow

I would cut my arms, not to kill myself, I don't want to die
I engaged in self-harm as a way to cope with my emotional pain

I know I am lucky to be on this earth
I am grateful for being alive despite my struggles

I did it so the physical pain would calm the pain
I used self-harm as a way to alleviate emotional pain

That was eating me inside, nothing was erased
My emotional pain was not resolved by my self-harm

I live with my past tucked away, deep inside of me
I carry the memory of my past struggles with me

It comes out as an explosion and it invades me
Sometimes my past memories and emotions resurface and overwhelm me

I believe we are messengers on earth
I believe we are all here for a purpose

I believe in Angels
I believe in divine intervention or guidance

I am blessed by God to tell myself I suffered that much
My past struggles have helped shape who I am today and have given me a sense of purpose

To become who I am today
My past experiences have helped me become the person I am today

Now you have to realize not only do I have a family
I want you to know that I have a family

But now I have a whole hood and that's power
I am part of a community that gives me strength

But I ain't no primy ass nigga
I am not weak or naive

I was never out to kill anybody
I never had the intention to harm anyone

Specially when I made that decision of gang bang, I just wanted to fit in
I joined a gang because I wanted to belong somewhere

But one day I was forced to do something
I was put in a situation where I had no choice but to act

That made me open my eyes and realize that this ain't no game
I became aware of the seriousness and dangers of gang life

One of the homies got popped
One of my friends was killed

And I was the first one doing my first drop by
I was tasked with making a delivery

It was kinda fucked up the way they tried to set me up
I was set up to do something dangerous and was not prepared for it

Me and my bro, we was headed back to the A block
My friend and I were returning to our neighborhood

Then some homies rolled up and they asked us to go somewhere
Some of my acquaintances asked us to go with them

We pulled up to the corner
We arrived at a street corner

Then he pressed the chunky ass gun in my lap
My friend handed me a large gun

He said you know what to do really, it's time to get poppy for the hood
He told me to use the gun and act on behalf of our community

That was not to kill anybody
Despite the instructions, I did not intend to harm anyone