Two and a Dog
Mal Webb Lyrics

Driving to the gig tonight
As Mal is on his way to his performance, he is nervous and uncertain about what he will see when he arrives

I hoped and prayed with all my might
He has no control over the turnout, and really wants the crowd to exceed his expectations

That dreams of Woodstock
He fantasizes of a massive audience that would be excited to hear him perform

Would come true
He hopes the concert-goers would appreciate his music and hopefully love it

A crowd that stretched beyond my view
He envisions a massive crowd that could enable him to give an amazing performance than he has ever given before

But I dream too much
Mal tends to let his imagination run away with him, building up unrealistic expectations

And practise far too rarely
Mal realizes later on that he has failed to do enough to advertise the concert and convince people to come

And walking in I feel as though
Mal enters the performing venue and immediately feels a sense of disappointment

The cards were dealt unfairly
He thinks he has been dealt a poor hand, as only few people show up to listen to him play his music

'Cos two and a dog, two and a dog
His audience is disappointingly small- only two people and a dog attend his show

Two and a dog is all I see
Mal's desired huge crowd has become two people and a dog, shattering his dreams.

How could they do this to me
He feels betrayed by those he thought were his friends and have failed to show up for his concert

All those friends who faithfully
Mal had assured himself that he had a supportive base of friends who would show up to hear him play

Promised me that they would be
Mal is disappointed by the fact that the people who promised to support him failed to show up

Here to hear me play
Mal believes that the popularity of his music would draw large crowds, but he is sadly mistaken

But two and a dog, two and a dog
Mal feels humbled and is irritated that his hopes have been dashed

Two and a dog is all I've got
Only two people and a dog show up to listen to him perform his music

I must admit it's not a lot
Mal accepts the fact that the turnout is underwhelming and meager

Superstar is what I'm not
Mal recognizes that he is not yet a superstar,m but he has a passion and dream he holds onto

My property just isn't hot
Mal has come to realize that the quality of his present music is not exceptional, it still needs much work to reach the top

This dog has had his day
Mal is the dog, and he realizes that he has reached his limit but there is more he can do within his capacity in future

Now playing at the gig tonight
Mal has accepted that life has to move on despite the initial disappointment

I shut my eyes to hide the sight
Mal shuts his eyes, probably while performing the songs, to dissociate himself from the apparent emptiness in the venue

The empty chairs look on in pain
Mal could visualize how the empty chairs in the hall were ganging up against him, mocking him

They try to cheer, but all in vain
He feels that the few people seated are not particularly excited about his performance, and they are probably there for other reasons.

And in between the songs
Performing in such an empty hall gives him time to contemplate his predicament

I can hear the barman breathing
Mal could hear the barman and imagine that he was the only person who appreciated his music

While the only other sound I hear
Mal could hear people walking out of the concert, a response he hopes to change in future

Is the sound of people leaving
The audience was not pleased with his singing, and Mal could hear them walking out of the building

My voice was sore
Mal realizes he had not rehearsed hard enough and his singing was not exceptional on the day of the performance

And the crowd was poor
Mal had a poor turnout that did not exhibit his expected crowd

And the posters had the venue wrong
Maybe the venue he booked for his performance wasn't attracting the crowd he hoped to see.

Excuses fly as I wonder why
Mal tries to pinpoint the cause of his failed performance, and the inability of people to show up as he had anticipated

Thousands didn't come along
Mal had anticipated huge numbers but eventually, only two people and a dog showed up

Now driving from the gig tonight
Mal packs and departs for home after the poorly attended concert

I grip the steering wheel tight
Mal is gripped with despondency that is reflected in his firmer grip on the steering wheel

The psychedelic voices say
Rather than hearing encouragement, Mal's imagination comes up with negative energy, telling him he should quit

That I should give the game away
The voices in Mal's head tell him to surrender and quit his music career altogether

But I'll be back again
In spite of the terrible turnout, Mal decides that he will keep pursuing his passion, regardless of the potential to fail

Climbing 'til I reach my peak
Mal sets his sights on becoming the very best musician he can be and wants to keep climbing until he reaches the top

And for seven days I'll hope and pray
Mal intends to spend the next seven days introspecting, visualizing, praying hard for a better tomorrow of his music career

And three and a cow
He remains hopeful that maybe the summary of his audience won't stop at two and a dog but maybe he'll get three people and a cow next time

Might come next week
Mal eagerly anticipates next week when he will try to perform again and advance his musical career

Two and a dog, two and a dog
Mal reflects yet again on his current audience size being two people and a dog

Two and a dog can be so cruel
Mal acknowledges that even though he has few supporters, the lack of audience could be cruel and demotivating

But I won't give up like a fool
Instead of giving up on his career, Mal decides to fight on despite the setback

I'll give my all and keep my cool
Mal decides to increase his efforts and remain calm and collected regardless of the outcome of his successes or failures

'Cos I'm as stubborn as a mule
Mal has made up his mind to pursue his career at all costs, no matter the obstacles that remain in the way

I'll take the stage again
Mal makes a promise to himself and to his audience that he will keep trying and performing live no matter how few the attendants are

'Cos two and a dog, two and a dog
Mal still has to face the reality that his audience may still remain the same as the one that came for his first concert

Two and a dog, my faithful few
Mal resigns to the fact that the two people and a dog that showed up have remained his sole supporters in the beginning phase of his career

And I'll be here to play for you
Mal promises his fans that he will keep their dreams alive by hosting live performances and playing music

Until my record deal comes through
Mal hopes and dreams that he might someday appeal to a wider fan base or get discovered so he can secure a record deal

By then I might be eighty-two
Mal's passion for music is unwavering, knowing he may not reach becoming a sensation until a later time, maybe even late in life

But two and a dog will do 'til then
Mal is grateful for the two people and a dog who remain his ardent and steadfast fans, and appreciates them for the encouragement and hope they offer him despite everything else