Internal Dialogue
Maria Mena Lyrics

It must have been hard; staying in line
It must have been difficult to follow the expectations and rules set by others

Knowing your influences insisted all the time
You were aware that the people you looked up to demanded obedience from you at all times

It must have been strange; living in blue
Your life had a sad and depressing tinge, which would have been unfamiliar to those around you

And see me shut down as though
It would have been easy to see my withdrawn behavior as a sign of complacency

It was an easy thing to do
However, staying silent and not speaking out about my struggles was actually much harder than it appeared

But you could tell where I had been
You could see the suffering and pain that I had endured, even though I tried to hide it

By the way I held my gun
My underlying emotional turmoil was evident in my body language and behavior

Trying to write anything
I attempted to express my emotions through my art, but I struggled to convey the depth of my pain

While being mocked by an off beat drum.
Despite the criticism and ridicule that I faced, I continued to try to create something meaningful

But I was not honest
I wasn't truthful about my struggles and pain

I was not healthy
My emotional and mental well-being was negatively impacted by my inability to express myself

You did the right thing
You made the correct decision to focus on getting better and healing

Covered your scars
You chose to hide the wounds of your past and focus on moving forward

Challenged your faith
You were forced to confront your beliefs and values in order to overcome your struggles

And closed your eyes driving cars
You tried to escape and distract yourself from your problems by focusing on mundane tasks

For all that they knew
To others, it appeared that you were safe and secure

You were safe home
You were able to find a sense of safety and security in your home environment

But you went through hell
You endured immense emotional pain and suffering behind closed doors

Whenever you were left alone
Your inner demons and struggles would come to the surface whenever you were by yourself

But you could see where I had been
You were able to empathize with my struggles and pain

From the pictures that they took
The evidence of my emotional turmoil was apparent in photographs that were taken of me

I tried to look positive at things
I attempted to put on a happy face and display a positive attitude, despite the sadness and pain that I was feeling

Faced myself but didn't look
I tried to come to terms with my problems, but I wasn't ready to confront them head on

That was not honest
I wasn't being truthful with myself or others about my struggles

I was not healthy
My inability to process my emotions and pain was damaging to my overall well-being

I am not honest, honest
Even now, I struggle to be truthful with myself and others

I wish you could see
I hope that you would be able to understand and empathize with my struggles

Yourself through my eyes
I wish that you could see yourself from my perspective, so that you could better understand your pain and struggles

There's no need to cling
You don't have to hold onto painful memories and emotional scars

To unnecessary lies
It's important to be truthful with yourself and others, in order to heal and move forward

The voice in your head
The negative self-talk and critical inner voice that you struggle with

Whose spirit you stole
The inner voice that robs you of your joy and well-being

Left you for dead
The negative self-talk can be so damaging and toxic that it feels like it is killing you

But you dug the hole
You have to take responsibility for your healing and well-being, and actively work towards improving your situation

And I can tell where you had been
I can see and empathize with the pain and suffering that you have experienced

From the marks around your wrists
The scars and physical manifestations of past trauma that are visible on your body

The red water washed around your sins
The blood that flowed from your wounds represents your emotional pain and suffering

But are you as pure as this?
Although you may feel like a victim of your past, it's important to recognize that you are not defined by your suffering

No, you are not honest
If you continue to hold onto the pain and negativity of the past, you will struggle to heal and move forward

You are not healthy
Failing to take care of your emotional well-being can have negative consequences for your overall health and happiness

You are not honest, honest
It's important to be truthful with yourself and others about the pain and suffering that you have experienced, in order to heal and move forward