Mary Gauthier (born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana in 1962) is an American count… Read Full Bio ↴Mary Gauthier (born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana in 1962) is an American country and folk singer/songwriter. Given up at birth by a mother she never knew, Mary was adopted. At age 15, she ran away from home and stole her parents' car, and spent the next several years in detox, halfway houses, and living with friends; she spent her 18th birthday in jail. These experiences provided fodder for her songwriting later on (particularly her song "Drag Queens in Limousines"). Later on, she enrolled at Louisiana State University as a philosophy major, but after five years there, dropped out due to drug problems and moved to Boston. After working waitress jobs and eventually being promoted to manager of the restaurant where she worked, financial backers paid her way to attend the Cambridge School of Culinary Arts and she opened a Cajun restaurant in Boston's Back Bay neighborhood, "Dixie Kitchen" (also the title of her first album). She wrote her first song at age 35. After the release of her first album, she sold her share in the restaurant to finance her second album, Drag Queens in Limousines. Gauthier is an out lesbian and two of the songs on her first album, "Goddamn HIV" and "Skeleton Town", dealt with AIDS.

Her surname is pronounced "go-chay."

Different Kind of Gone
Mary Gauthier Lyrics

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There's knots in your stomach
Tightness in my throat
half the things we say these days
get hurled back as a quote
we came together easily
but something has gone wrong
The air has gotten heavy
'cause I'm leaving

but I'm a different kind of gone

Leaving leads me home to you,
darlin try to see
I'm put together needing room
to remember what I need.
I froze up once and lost myself,
I damn near lost the strength to carry on.
Now I'm a different kind of gone.

BRIDGE
And yes I know
it hurts you when I go
it kills you that I disappeared
after we made love all those nights in a row
but you're the one I come back to
and when I'm there, I'm really there with you.

There's a tapping on my shoulder,
a tugging on my soul
The restlessness that torments you
is making me whole
you're the one I'm drawn to
My heart is yours and it don't carry on.
but you must let me go babe, I'll be back,

I'm a different kind of gone.
Yea you gotta let me go babe

Overall Meaning

Mary Gauthier's song "Different Kind of Gone" portrays the complicated emotions felt by someone who is leaving a relationship. The song speaks to a deep sense of restlessness that can consume an individual, leading them to seek freedom and space - even at the cost of breaking up with their partner. The singer describes feeling knots in their stomach and tightness in their throat as they realize that they need to leave. They acknowledge that the relationship began easily, but something has gone wrong and the air has become heavy. They explain to their partner that leaving will ultimately lead them back home, as they need time to remember what they truly need in life.

While the singer acknowledges that leaving hurts their partner, they also explain that being together makes them feel whole. The bridge of the song reveals that the singer has disappeared in the past, but that their heart belongs to their partner. They describe feeling a tugging on their soul and tap on their shoulder, urging them to leave and seek freedom. However, they explain that they will always come back to their partner, but they must be allowed to go on their journey. The singer emphasizes that they are a "different kind of gone" – one that isn't leaving to escape, but to return to themselves with a newfound appreciation for what they have.

Overall, Mary Gauthier's "Different Kind of Gone" is a powerful and emotionally charged song that captures the complex emotions of leaving a relationship. It speaks to the personal journey of self-discovery that sometimes requires us to break away from the familiar and venture into the unknown.

Line by Line Meaning

There's knots in your stomach
You feel uneasy about what's going on between us.

Tightness in my throat
I feel emotional about what I have to say to you.

half the things we say these days get hurled back as a quote
We're having trouble communicating and our words are coming back to haunt us.

we came together easily but something has gone wrong
Our relationship started out great, but something has changed.

The air has gotten heavy
The atmosphere between us is tense and unsettling.

'cause I'm leaving but I'm a different kind of gone
I'm leaving, but I'm not abandoning you completely. I'll be back.

Leaving leads me home to you, darlin try to see
I need to leave so I can come back to you with a clearer mind and a stronger heart.

I'm put together needing room to remember what I need
I need space to remember what's important to me and to work on myself.

I froze up once and lost myself, I damn near lost the strength to carry on
I've been through a tough time before and I don't want to lose myself again.

And yes I know it hurts you when I go
I understand that my leaving is painful for you.

it kills you that I disappeared after we made love all those nights in a row
You feel hurt that I left after being intimate with you so many times.

but you're the one I come back to and when I'm there, I'm really there with you.
You're the one I want to be with, and when I come back, I'll be fully present and committed to you.

There's a tapping on my shoulder, a tugging on my soul
I feel a strong inner pull that's guiding me to where I need to be.

The restlessness that torments you is making me whole
Your restlessness is pushing me to grow and become a better version of myself.

you're the one I'm drawn to My heart is yours and it don't carry on
You have my heart, and I'm drawn to you more than anyone else.

but you must let me go babe, I'll be back, I'm a different kind of gone.
I need you to trust that I'll come back to you, even though I'm leaving for a while. My leaving doesn't mean I'm gone forever.

Yea you gotta let me go babe
I need you to give me the space to work on myself and grow.

Contributed by Sydney K. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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