My mummy says I'm a miracle
My mother considers me a miraculous being of great significance

My daddy says I'm his special little guy
My father considers me to be an exceptional, unique and specially loved individual

I am a princess
I consider myself to hold a royal status and possess all the qualities of a princess

And I am a prince
I too possess the qualities of a prince in addition to being a princess

Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky
My mother believes that I am a heavenly spirit sent down to earth to bless and guide people

My daddy says I'm his special little soldier,
My father considers me a brave and loyal warrior to his cause

No one is as handsome, strong as me.
I am considered the most handsome and physically capable person by my father

It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge.
My father allows me to indulge in my desire to eat and grow fat

But I'm his little soldier!
I am always ready to fight for my father as his obedient and loyal soldier

Hop, 2-4-3!
I am ready to take on any challenge with rhythmic and energetic steps

One look at my face, and it's plain to see.
It is evident from my face that I am a person of rare and exceptional qualities

Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!
Since my umbilical cord was cut, it is obvious that I am one of a kind and there is no match for me as a miracle

No one is as bold or tough as me.
My father considers me tough and fearless, with no one else even coming close to my level

Has my daddy told you, One day when I'm older, I can be a solder And shoot you in the face!
My father has boasted about how I can become a soldier when I grow up and even shoot my enemies in the face

One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days.
The world is filled with exceptional and beautiful people these days, making it difficult to separate one's self from the rest

It seems that there's millions of these one-in-a-millions these days,
There are an overwhelming number of unique individuals who are one in a million these days

Special-ness seems de rigueur, Above average is average - go figure
Being extraordinary is the norm and being just average is now considered below average

Is it is come modern miracle of calculus, That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous.
It is remarkable that despite the high frequency of miraculous beings around us, each one is still considered truly unique and special

My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina.
My mother sees me as a valuable and beloved ballerina

She has never seen a prettier barrelina
According to my mother, there has never been a more beautiful ballerina than me

She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, But I'm a barrelina, so give me more cake!
My mother advises me to eat less cream if I want to stay in shape as a ballerina, but I demand more cake despite her advice

Take another photo of our angel in that costume that I made
My mother wants to capture another photo of me wearing the costume that she made for me, as I am her angel

The role of tree has never been portrayed with such convincing sway
My acting skills are so impressive that I can even portray a convincing tree

That's right, honey, look at mummy!
My mother wants me to look at her as she poses for a photo with me

Don't put honey on your brother
My mother is stopping me from putting honey on my brother, as that would be inappropriate

Smile for mummy; smile for mother!
My mother wants me to smile for the camera and show her my happiness and beauty

I think she blinked, Well, take another!
My mother thinks I blinked in the photo and wants to take another one to get a perfect shot

Have you seen his school report? He got a 'C' on his report, What?! We'll have to change his school. His teacher's clearly falling short.
Upon learning about my poor grades, my parents are disappointed and blame the teacher for not providing adequate education

She's just delightful. So hilarious and Insightful.
My parents find my teacher to be delightful, funny, and intelligent

Might she be a little brighter than the norm? I know to boys it's frightful form!
My parents wonder if my teacher might be more intelligent than usual, and worry about the societal implications of boys being taught by a woman

That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball.
I am small and reflect a bright and dazzling beauty like a mirror ball

You can be all cynical, but it's a trust empirical.
You can doubt my miraculous nature, but it is a fact that can be proven through evidence and observation

There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as me!
There has never been a miracle as wondrous and unique as me

A baby Mrs. Wormwood, a child, the most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. A brand new human being, a life, a person. A wonderful new person is about to come into your life and bring you love and magic and happiness and wonder. Ooooowwwwwww! Bloody 'ell!
As I am being born, a new life is being handed over to my mother as the most valuable and precious gift from nature, which will bring her great joy and wonder. However, the process of childbirth is painful for my mother

Every life I bring into this world restores my faith in humankind. Push Mrs. Wormwood, push!
My father, who is a doctor, finds each new life he delivers to be a miraculous and uplifting experience. He encourages my mother to push for the delivery of our new life

I'll push you in a minute!
My mother responds humorously to my father's encouragement, but intends to push as hard as she can for the delivery

Each new-born life, a canvas yet unpainted... This still unbroken skin...This uncorrupted mind...
Each new life is a blank canvas with infinite possibilities for the future, possessing a pure body and mind not yet corrupted by the world

Every life is unbelievably unlikely. The chances of existence, Almost infinitely small. The most common thing in life is life, And yet every single life, Every new life is a miracle! Miracle
The existence of every life is improbable, with the odds of it happening being almost infinitesimal. Despite life being the most common occurrence in the world, each new life is a genuine and extraordinary miracle

This is the worst day of my life!
I am feeling extremely unhappy and frustrated

Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal.
My mother is feeling discomfort in her reproductive area after childbirth

My skin looks just revolting in this foul fluorescent light
My mother is displeased with how she looks under the harsh fluorescent light of the hospital

And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, semi-Spanish gown I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight.
My mother is disappointed that she cannot wear her desired semi-formal, semi-Spanish gown for her event tonight due to her hospital stay

I should be dancing the tarantella Qui mon fella italiano, Not dressed in hospital cotton, With a smarting front bottom, And this...Horrible...Miracle!
My mother should be enjoying the Italian dance of tarantella with her partner, but instead she is in hospital clothing with a sore bottom and a newborn baby to take care of, which she views as a horrible miracle

Smelly little - Weakly little ball of fat!
I am a smelly, weak, and fat newborn baby

What the hell was that?
My father reacts with surprise at my birth and the associated mess of childbirth

Will someone give this thing a bottle? Or swap it for a later model?
My father is jokingly asking for someone to take care of me as he is unsure about how to do it himself, and wondering if there is a newer model baby available

Why do bad things always happen to good people? Fine upstanding citizens like you and me?
My parents are feeling sorry for themselves and wondering why bad things happen to good people like them

Why when we've done nothing wrong, Should this disaster come along? This horrible, weird looking... Hairy little stinky thing
My parents are responding to the difficulty of my birth and questioning why they are suffering when they have done nothing wrong, describing me in their frustration as a weird looking and hairy little stinky thing

With no sign of a winky-ding at all
My genitals cannot be identified as male or female yet

Beautiful miracle I have ever seen... I can't find his frank and beans...
Despite the earlier distress, my parents are marveling at the beauty of my existence, although they still can't identify my gender

And yet every single life, every new life is a miracle! Miracle!
Despite the struggles my parents faced during my birth, they are still able to appreciate each new life as an incredible and unbelievable miracle

You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical. There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as ...!
While others may doubt the miraculous nature of new life, my parents believe it to be an empirical and undisputed truth. They feel that there has never been a miracle as great as me

My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. My daddy says I'm a bore. My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ. That kids like me should be against the law. My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole. No one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me. Mum says I'm a good case for population control. Dad says I should watch more TV.
Despite all the earlier praise, my parents sometimes express disappointment in me by calling me a lousy worm, a bore, or a germ. They believe I am a troublemaker and should be controlled. I should also learn to keep my opinions to myself, and my mother believes I should not contribute to the population. My father suggests I should spend more time watching TV and less time talking