---Courtesy (mostly) of the official matt caplan website---
Broken
Matt Caplan Lyrics
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It's not that I am counting down from ten or playing hide and seek
It's not that I am thinking of the past and consequently feeling older
It's not like I'll inherit all the Earth if I destroy the meek
It's not that I am special
It's not that I'm indifferent
It's not that I'm cowardly or vain
It's not that I'm violent
I don't objectify my pain
Oh, but I could break you if I wanted to
Be cruel to you and I could show the world your song
Oh, I could break you if I wanted to
Be cruel to you, 'cause I was broken all along
It's not that I am folding up this chair and folding up my insight
It's not that I respect you any less for giving someone more
Oh, it's not that I regret the things I've done or anything I've planned to
It's not like changing after we descend will justify before
It's not that I am stupid
It's not that I'm scheming
It's not that I'm searching for a sign
It's not that I am righteous
It's not that I'm unfeeling
I don't expect you to be mine
Oh, but I could break you if I wanted to
Be cruel to you and I could show the world your song
Oh, I could break you if I wanted to
Be cruel to you, 'cause I was broken all along
And the things you tell me don't mean a thing if you're not scared
And turning your back on me won't leave me weak or unprepared
Oh, but I could break you if I wanted to
Be cruel to you and I could show the world your song
Oh, I could break you if I wanted to
Be cruel to you, 'cause I was broken all along
It's not like every devastating end brings a new beginning
The song "Broken in 2" by Matt Caplan seems to be about the internal struggle of someone who is dealing with their own emotional pain and finds themselves in a position of power over someone else. The first stanza sets the tone by debunking the notion that the singer is hiding or playing games. Instead, they are dealing with their own past and present emotions, and aware of their own potential cruelty. They acknowledge that they could break someone else's spirit or reputation, but they don't because they know what it feels like to be broken.
The following stanzas further emphasize the singer's self-awareness and the complexity of their internal world. They reject any simplistic labels that people may try to impose on them such as "stupid," "scheming," "righteous," or "unfeeling." Instead, they present themselves as a human being with a mix of strengths and weaknesses, feelings and thoughts. They also reject any expectation of possession or domination over others, and acknowledge that other people's responses are beyond their control.
The chorus returns to the possibility of cruelty and the power the singer holds over someone else, but it reinforces that this power is not used lightly or without consequences. The bridge brings in the idea that fear and vulnerability are part of any interaction, and that the singer is not afraid of either. The closing line suggests that there is no simple formula to deal with pain or healing, and that every situation is unique.
Line by Line Meaning
It's not that I am hiding on the roof or underneath your table
I am not avoiding you.
It's not that I am counting down from ten or playing hide and seek
I am not trying to play games with you.
It's not that I am thinking of the past and consequently feeling older
I am not dwelling on the past and aging because of it.
It's not like I'll inherit all the Earth if I destroy the meek
Destroying the weak will not make me the heir of the world.
It's not that I am special
I am not unique or extraordinary.
It's not that I'm indifferent
I am not apathetic to what is happening.
It's not that I'm cowardly or vain
I am neither a coward nor conceited.
It's not that I am angry
I am not filled with anger.
It's not that I'm violent
I am not a violent person.
I don't objectify my pain
I don't see my pain as an object or a thing.
It's not that I am folding up this chair and folding up my insight
I am not giving up on this conversation or my understanding of it.
It's not that I respect you any less for giving someone more
I don't think any less of you for showing favoritism toward someone else.
Oh, it's not that I regret the things I've done or anything I've planned to
I don't regret anything I've done or planned.
It's not like changing after we descend will justify before
Changing after the fact will not make up for what happened before.
It's not that I am stupid
I am not dumb.
It's not that I'm scheming
I am not plotting or scheming anything.
It's not that I'm searching for a sign
I am not looking for a sign or signal.
It's not that I am righteous
I am not morally superior.
It's not that I'm unfeeling
I am not lacking in emotion.
I don't expect you to be mine
I don't have any expectations of you being mine.
And the things you tell me don't mean a thing if you're not scared
Your words are meaningless if you are not afraid of the outcome.
And turning your back on me won't leave me weak or unprepared
You leaving me won't leave me vulnerable or unprepared.
It's not like every devastating end brings a new beginning
Not every bad situation leads to new opportunities.
Oh, but I could break you if I wanted to
Be cruel to you and I could show the world your song
Oh, I could break you if I wanted to
Be cruel to you, 'cause I was broken all along
I have the power to hurt you, but I won't because I know what it's like to be hurt.
Contributed by Ella N. Suggest a correction in the comments below.