Railroaded
Matthew Ryan Lyrics


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Well, I smoked my
Throat out last night
Hoping you'd call
Or just stop by

Now, I'm wheezing
Like the Oakland sky
Feeling like
The rusted tracks
And forgotten dream
Of the old train lines

It's a perpetual stone
In my shoe
One that I'll always
Be trying to shake loose
An ache in my chest
And a thorn in my side

More than a scratch
Beneath this skin
Somewhere between
The beginning and the end

I don't feel a lot lately
I don't feel whole lately
I don't feel much lately
That's how I hide
That's how I hide

You wrote it down not to
Draw attention to yourself
You let the pilot just
To blow it out

Here the conversation's
Always too loud
And we're as pathetic as the jumper
That listens to the crowd

To say I miss you
Wouldn't be enough
I feel like Tom Waits
Singing, 'Diamonds and rust'
And I'm as pathetic as a junkie
Who knows what he does

It's a perpetual stone
In my shoe
One that I'll always
Be trying to shake loose
An ache in my chest
And a thorn in my pride

More than a scratch
Beneath this skin
Somewhere between
The beginning and the end

I don't feel a lot lately
I don't feel whole lately
I don't feel much lately




But that's how I hide
That's how I hide

Overall Meaning

The song "Railroaded" by Matthew Ryan is a melancholic piece about the persistent sorrow and regret that the singer feels. The first stanza describes the singer's physical ailment, caused by his smoking, but it is not really about that. It is rather a metaphor for the emotional hurt that he feels. His longing for the person he wants to hear from or see is making him ill, and he compares it to the polluted air of Oakland. His emotions are like the rusted tracks and forgotten dreams of old train lines, something that used to have purpose but now feels like a relic of the past that can’t be revived. The second stanza reveals that the feeling of hurt and loss is not just temporary, but rather a permanent state of being, a stone in his shoe, a constant ache in his chest, and a thorn in his side. It is something he will always try to shake loose, but he knows he never can.


The chorus repeats "I don't feel a lot lately, I don't feel whole lately, I don't feel much lately, but that's how I hide, that's how I hide." The repetition emphasizes the extent of his numbness and how it is his way of dealing with his emotions. He has been hurt so many times that his only protection is to shut himself off from his feelings. The last stanza introduces the idea that the singer has written or said something that he regrets, and he wishes he could take it back. However, he realizes that even if he had the chance, he wouldn't want to bring attention to himself. The conversations around him are always too loud, and everyone is so caught up in their own issues that he fears being seen as pathetic, like a "jumper that listens to the crowd," or an attention-seeking person who only wants people to feel sorry for them.


Overall, "Railroaded" is a poignant song about the burden of pain and regret that we carry with us, the isolation we feel when we try to shut out those emotions, and the fear of being seen as weak or pathetic. It is a song that speaks to the universal struggle we all face when we lose someone or something that we hold dear.


Line by Line Meaning

Well, I smoked my Throat out last night Hoping you'd call Or just stop by
Last night, I smoked so much that it hurt my throat because I was hoping you would call me or visit me.


Now, I'm wheezing Like the Oakland sky Feeling like The rusted tracks And forgotten dream Of the old train lines
I'm wheezing badly now, almost like the smoggy skies of Oakland. I feel like the old train tracks which are rusted and forgotten like a long lost dream.


It's a perpetual stone In my shoe One that I'll always Be trying to shake loose An ache in my chest And a thorn in my side
This feeling is like a stone in my shoe that will never let me be at peace, an ache in my chest and a thorn in my side.


More than a scratch Beneath this skin Somewhere between The beginning and the end
This feeling is more than just a scratch beneath my skin, it's deep rooted and somewhere between the beginning and end.


I don't feel a lot lately I don't feel whole lately I don't feel much lately That's how I hide That's how I hide
I don't feel much lately and that's how I hide my emotions, to not seem vulnerable.


You wrote it down not to Draw attention to yourself You let the pilot just To blow it out
You wrote it down to express your thoughts and feelings, not to make it about yourself. You let the pilot just take over and push the feelings aside.


Here the conversation's Always too loud And we're as pathetic as the jumper That listens to the crowd
The conversation is always too loud in this place and we're pathetic for staying and listening to them like a jumper who listens to the crowd.


To say I miss you Wouldn't be enough I feel like Tom Waits Singing, 'Diamonds and rust' And I'm as pathetic as a junkie Who knows what he does
Saying I miss you wouldn't be enough because my feelings are like Tom Waits singing 'Diamonds and rust.' I'm pathetic because my actions are like a junkie who knows what he does is wrong.


It's a perpetual stone In my shoe One that I'll always Be trying to shake loose An ache in my chest And a thorn in my pride
This feeling will always be like a stone in my shoe, never giving me any peace, an ache in my chest and a thorn in my pride.


More than a scratch Beneath this skin Somewhere between The beginning and the end
This feeling is deep beneath my skin, more than just a scratch, and it's somewhere between the beginning and the end.


I don't feel a lot lately I don't feel whole lately I don't feel much lately But that's how I hide That's how I hide
I don't feel much lately and that's how I hide my emotions to avoid being vulnerable.




Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: RYAN CHRISTOPHER WEBB

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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