After the split-up of Hederos & Hellberg, Hellberg went into the studio in September 2003 together with some fellow musicians forming Hellberg's backup band Healing Hand. Hellberg started recording his own songs, and ended up with ten songs about the melancholy of life released on his self-titled debut album.
Black Cloud Man
Mattias Hellberg Lyrics
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An ocean of voices can't hear what they say
I don't understand and I can not tell
Why I fall so hard, why I feel this way
Oh no, it's the same old low
The unknown sorrow, the nameless pain
Make me feel like a shadow, like a black cloud man
A hurricane's roaring inside of my head
A silent war that no one can win
Wish I could explain, make it easier for you
Instead I'm just waiting 'til it's passing through
Oh no, it's the same old low
The unknown sorrow, the nameless pain
I am falling again
Feel like a shadow, like a black cloud man
Makes me feel like a shadow, like a black cloud man
The first two lines of the song "Too many people and too much noise, an ocean of voices can't hear what they say" describes the feeling of being overwhelmed by the world around. The world is full of people and noises and everyone has opinions which creates chaos, making it difficult to know what to listen to and what not to listen to. The singer goes on to say "I don't understand and I cannot tell why I feel this way", which highlights the confusion that the singer is feeling. They feel lost and cannot identify why they are feeling this way. This creates a sense of disconnect with the world around them.
The lyrics "Oh no, it's the same old low, the unknown sorrow, the nameless painmake me feel like a shadow, like a black cloud man" emphasize the pain and sorrow that the singer is feeling. The use of the metaphor "black cloud man" is used to describe the singer's feeling of being alone with the burden of their emotions. Just like how a black cloud blocks the sun and brings darkness, the singer's feelings are blocking their ability to see the light, leaving them in the dark.
The chorus repeats the same idea of feeling like a "black cloud man" and highlights the singer's inability to express their feelings. The line "a silent war that no one can win, wish I could explain, make it easier for you, instead I'm just waiting 'til it's passing through" portrays the singer's anxiety about sharing their emotions. They wish they could explain, but at the same time, they are hesitant to do so. They are just waiting for it to pass.
Line by Line Meaning
Too many people and too much noise
The overwhelming number of people and their incessant talking make it hard for me to concentrate.
An ocean of voices can't hear what they say
The sheer number of voices make them indistinguishable, blending together into white noise.
I don't understand and I can not tell
I don't have the words or the understanding to communicate what I'm feeling.
Why I fall so hard, why I feel this way
I'm struggling to understand why I'm feeling so intensely and why it's affecting me so deeply.
Oh no, it's the same old low
This is a recurring feeling that I can't escape from.
The unknown sorrow, the nameless pain
The intensity of my emotions is too overwhelming for me to identify or articulate.
Make me feel like a shadow, like a black cloud man
The weight of my emotions makes me feel invisible and insignificant, like a mere shadow of myself.
A hurricane's roaring inside of my head
My thoughts and emotions are raging within me like a chaotic storm.
A silent war that no one can win
This internal struggle feels like an unwinnable battle that I'm fighting alone.
Wish I could explain, make it easier for you
I wish I could express my emotions in a way that others could understand and help me through.
Instead I'm just waiting 'til it's passing through
I feel helpless and unable to do anything but wait for these emotions to subside.
I am falling again
I'm experiencing this intense emotional state yet again.
Feel like a shadow, like a black cloud man
The weight of my emotions is once again making me feel invisible and insignificant.
Makes me feel like a shadow, like a black cloud man
The intensity of my emotions is becoming overwhelming again and making me feel small and unimportant.
Contributed by Brayden Y. Suggest a correction in the comments below.