A Fine Romance
Menuhin & Grappelli Lyrics

A fine romance, with no kisses
Our relationship is supposed to be a romantic one, but we don't even share kisses.

A fine romance, my friend this is
This is sarcastic; the relationship is far from fine.

We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
We should be passionate and fiery towards each other.

But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes
However, you are very detached and indifferent towards me.

A fine romance, you won't nestle
You are not even willing to cuddle.

A fine romance, you won't wrestle
You are not even ready to engage in playful physical activities.

I might as well play bridge
I might as well spend my time doing something that doesn't require engagement or intimacy.

With my old maid aunt
An old and unmarried woman who is unlikely to engage in any romantic relationship.

I haven't got a chance
I don't have any hope of having a fulfilling romantic relationship with you.

This is a fine romance
There is a clear discrepancy between the actual relationship and what it should be.

A fine romance, my good fellow
A sarcastic reference to their status as friends only.

You take romance, I'll take jello
You are not interested in a romantic relationship, so I should just focus on something else, like jello.

You're calmer than the seals
You are very calm and composed, unlike seals who express their emotions through their actions.

In the Arctic Ocean
A reference to the coldness and detachment of their relationship.

At least they flap their fins
Seals show some kind of emotional expression, unlike the person in this relationship.

To express emotion
A seal's way of showing feelings and emotion through physical expression.

A fine romance with no quarrels
Although it's supposed to be a passionate relationship, no disagreements ever spark between the two of us.

With no insults and all morals
Our relationship is cordial and respectful, but still lacks any physical or emotional connection.

I've never mussed the crease
I've never been in a situation where we could be playful or intimate together.

In your blue serge pants
A specific reference to the object of their focus.

I never get the chance
I never get to experience any intimacy or passion in our relationship.

This is a fine romance
This point is being emphasized again - the relationship isn't passionate or romantic as it should be.