Dan Is The Man
Mighty Sparrow Lyrics

Captain! There′s a traitor on board! Examine the horn!
Calling out to the leader that there is a traitor on board and to check the horn for more information.

According to the education you get when you small, You will grow up with true ambition and respect from one and all.
The singer believes that the education provided to children should be practical and this will result in success and respect from peers and society at large.

But in my days in school, they teach me like a fool, The things they teach me ah should be ah block-headed mule.
The singer laments the education they received, which they consider foolish and only suited for someone dull and unintelligent.

And wey dey teach yuh? Dey teach mih: Pussy has finished his work long ago an' now he resting an′ ting. Solomon a Gundy was born on ah Monday, de ass in de lion skin. Winkin, Blinkin and Nod, sail off in ah wooden sloop, De 'gouti lose he tail an' de Alligator fighting, to make monkey-liver soup! An′ Dan, is the man, in the van! Wepsee mama!
The artist highlights a few nonsensical lines from the education they received and emphasizes the pointlessness of this learning. Dan is highlighted as a successful person regardless of this education.

De poems an′ de lessons dey write an' sen′ from England Impress me dey were trying to cultivate comedians! Comic books made more sense: You know it's fictitious, without pretence. Cutteridge wanted to keep us in ignorance!
The artist criticizes the lessons and poems that were sent over from England as they appeared more focused on cultivating comedians. Instead, comic books made more practical sense that was also without pretense. It is believed that Cutteridge wanted students to be ignorant.

Tell me if dis eh chupidness: Humpy-Dumpty sat on a wall! Humpy-Dumpy did fall! Goosey, Goosey Gyander? Where shall I wander? Ding, dong, del! l Pussy in de well! R-I-K-K-I-T-I-K-K-I-Ah-T-Ah-V Ah Rikki Tikki Tikki Tikki Tavi! Dan, is de man, in de van! Wepsee mama! Yep!
The singer highlights how the ridiculous rhymes and lessons they were taught in schools now seem like a waste of time. However, regardless of their education, Dan is still widely regarded as successful.

Ah say, Cutteridge was plenty times more advanced dan dem scientist, I en believe dat no one man could write so much stupidness. Aeroplanes didn′ come so soon, Scientists used to make de grade in balloon. Cutteridge make a cow jump over the moon!
The singer believes that their previous teacher (Cutteridge) was much more advanced than scientists of his time. The singer also pokes fun at the silly rhymes drilled into them in their education by insinuating that one man couldn't have come up with so many nonsense rhymes alone. They also marvel at Cutteridge's apparent success in making a cow jump over the moon.

An' then he tell dem: Tom, Tom de piper′s son! Teef ah pig an' away he run! Once dere was a woman who lived in ah shoe, She had so many children she didn' know what to do! Dickory a-dickory dock! De mouse ran up de clock! De lion and de mouse, Ah woman pushing ah cow To eat grass on top of ah house! Ah an′ Dan, is de man, in de van!
The artist further derides the nonsense rhymes they were taught, implying that it's silly for a thief to steal a pig and run away. They don't see the value in remembering lines about a woman who lived in a shoe or a mouse running up a clock. However, despite this, Dan is still considered successful even with this pointless education.

How I happen to get some education my friends, me eh know! All dey teach me is about Beer Rabbit an′ Rumpelstilskin-o. Dey wanted to keep me down indeed, dey try dey best, but didn' succeed You see, mih head was duncee an′ up to now ah cyar read!
The artist is unsure of how they received education, but they acknowledge that it wasn't helpful in their life. They feel that those who taught them wanted to keep them down, but their efforts failed. Despite this, the artist still considers themselves foolish and unable to read.

With Dan is de man in de van Can a pig dance a jig for a fig? Twirly and Twisty were two screws! Mister Mike, goes to school, on a bike! Dan is de man, in de van! Dan is de man, in de van! Yeah! Dan is the man, in the van!
Regardless of the education mentioned in previous lines and the ridiculous rhymes, Dan is considered successful for being in the van. The other lines ask nonsensical questions and even mention other people (Mister Mike) who are considered successful in their own ways. However, Dan is still widely respected as the man in the van.