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Ill Do Anything
Mike-E Lyrics

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Narrator: "Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt, who together make up
the infamous gang of scalliwags, the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"
Larry, Pa, Mr. Lunt: "We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just
stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just
tell you ..."
Larry: "We don't do anything!"
Pa: "Well, I've never been Greenland and I've never been to Denver, and
I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul, and I've never been

to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa, and I've never been to Boston in
the fall."
All: "'cause we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home
and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you
.."
Mr. Lunt: "We don't do anything. And I never hoist the mainstay and I
never swab the poop deck, and I never veer to starboard 'cause I never
sail at all, and I've never walked the gang plank and I've never owned a
parrot, and I've never been to Boston in the fall."
All: "'cause we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home
and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you
.. We don't do anything!"
Larry: "Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at
ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall,
and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, and
I've never been to Boston in the fall!"
Pa: "Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed
potatoes have to do with being a pirate??"
Mr. Lunt: "Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-why
things!"
Larry: "Oh ..."
Pa: "And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even
bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"
Mr. Lunt: "I think you look like Cap'n Crunch!"
Pa: "Huh? No I don't!"
Mr. Lunt: "Do too."

Pa: "Do not!"
Mr. Lunt: "You're making me hungry."
Pa: "That's it, you're walkin' the plank!"
Mr. Lunt: "Says who?"
Pa: "Says the captain, that's who!"
Mr. Lunt: "Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch!"
Larry: "And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a
stink bug, and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, and
I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings ..."
Pa: "You just don't get it!"
All: "And we've never been to Boston in the fall!"

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Mike-E's song "Ill Do Anything" tell the story of three pirates, Larry, Pa Grape, and Mr. Lunt, who proudly identify themselves as "the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything." The chorus repeats their mantra, emphasizing that they prefer to stay at home and lie around, refusing to engage in any kind of action or adventure. The verses further illustrate their lack of ambition or experience, with each pirate listing a series of places they have never been to and activities they have never done.

Larry starts by mentioning places like Greenland, Denver, St. Louis, St. Paul, Moscow, and Tampa, highlighting that he has never visited any of them. Pa Grape follows suit, confessing to never burying treasure or visiting Boston in the fall. Mr. Lunt continues the pattern, admitting to never performing pirate-specific tasks like hoisting the mainstay, swabbing the poop deck, or sailing at all, along with never walking the gangplank or owning a parrot.

The song takes a comical turn when Larry mentions strange activities like plucking a rooster, playing ping-pong, throwing mashed potatoes against the wall, and kissing a chipmunk. Pa Grape questions the relevance of these random references to being a pirate, with Mr. Lunt chiming in with playful banter about Pa's resemblance to Cap'n Crunch. The pirates' conversation escalates until Pa decides Mr. Lunt deserves to walk the plank, leading to a humorous exchange between them.

The song concludes with Larry expressing that he has never licked a spark plug, sniffed a stink bug, painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, bathed in yogurt, or looked good in leggings. The final line reinforces the main theme, emphasizing that they have never been to Boston in the fall, reiterating their choice to avoid action and adventure.

Overall, "Ill Do Anything" is a lighthearted and whimsical song that humorously portrays the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything and their refusal to engage in any activities associated with piracy or even everyday life.

Lyrics © CAPITOL CHRISTIAN MUSIC GROUP, Capitol CMG Publishing

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

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