Poison
Mimi Barks Lyrics

That’s what I told myself
I lied to myself about what was happening

It just happened
I am trying to cover up my own responsibility for the situation

And after it was over I looked down at the mess on the floor
I realized the consequences of my actions and the destruction they caused

It was like a kaleidoscope had shattered
The situation was chaotic, confusing, and painful

The door flies open it hits my face
The entrance of someone aggressive caught me off guard

Young and broken beggin for grace
I’m vulnerable and seeking forgiveness

See demons in your eyes filled with rage
I see that you are possessed by anger and darkness

These nights I felt nothing but goddamn hate
I am overwhelmed with feelings of anger towards myself and others

This can't be you this can't be me
I'm not recognizing my own behavior or the behavior of those around me

Blurry vision possessed by a beast
I feel out of control and like I am being controlled

Now everything pretty got nothing on me
I am feeling ugly and like nothing good can come out of me

So lifeless wish I could cut my own sleeves
I'm feeling numb and wishing I could harm myself

I had screamed my heart out for you
I gave everything to you and it wasn't enough

So hard that my veins should’ve blown up
I put too much effort into trying to make things work with you and it was self-destructive

Screamed against transparent walls oh
I was shouting for help but no one could hear or understand me

Should’ve known that you’re unable to touch
I shouldn't have expected anything from you, you were cold and distant

Pain so deep inside me
I'm experiencing a profound inner suffering

Love how it excites me
Despite the pain, I'm addicted to the intense emotions

Callin me a freak
Others label me as strange or abnormal

But you are in too deep
You are involved in this chaotic situation as much as I am

For you it’s just a bit
This is just a minor experience for you, whereas it's overwhelming for me

I'm burstin on you bitch
I'm exploding with anger and directing it towards you

But you don't give a shit
You are indifferent to my suffering and emotions

I'm so close to the cliff
I am on the verge of a breakdown

You killed my natural emotions
You destroyed my capacity to feel and trust others

You made me feel like dirt
You treated me poorly and without respect

Down on my knees when you touched me
I felt vulnerable and powerless when I was with you

It felt like a kaleidoscope had shattered
Every time we were together, it was like everything was broken and out of control

Booze breath red eyes cold nights
I'm drowning in alcohol, exhausted, and alone

Bleed me out I'm still alive only on the outside
I'm metaphorically bleeding out emotionally but I'm still physically alive

God must hate me he rolled the dice
I feel like I'm unlucky and that God is punishing me

Beat me up no one taught me wrong from right
I wasn't taught how to navigate challenging situations and I'm struggling