Not The Girl
Minimal Lyrics

We have lyrics for 'Not The Girl' by these artists:

Aggi I’m not the one you wanted Won’t try to…
Annabel Gutherz He’s got his pants on tight And his hair cut short And…
Chumbawamba Wondering Have I given up dreaming? Come down from ceiling I…
Dare Art Alade Chorus: You're not the girl I used to know, you're a…
Darey You're not the girl I used to know you're a shadow…
Holly Macve I'm not the girl, that I once was And i'll…
Mary and the Black Lamb They're writing songs of love, but not for me A lucky…
The Coral You're not the girl that I once knew Now you're so…

We have lyrics for these tracks by Minimal:

Minimal Every time I open my eyes I have so…

The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos

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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

@C.C.369

22w↑55

From the front of the class here: i had a trauma bond relationship for 8 bloddy years because "but i love him".
But i am SO GLAD that i finally found the courage in myself to realize that "its no love when he makes you suffer!"

I'm out of this since 4years and i feel better than ever! I'm finally in my emotional self sustained era. Started dating again and slowly i understand that I WAS ACTUALLY NEVER IN LOVE WITH MY EX!
I thought "it's no love if he makes you suffer" ment that HE don't loves ME, but while this is true for sure, i realized that I didn't love him all along.

Slowly it dawns on me that love, REAL LOVE, is built on a base of feeling safe and abundant within yourself and with each other. ❤️

@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living

22w↑5

This times infinity.

If a man cannot make my already easy life easier, I’m not interested. What does that mean?
- You don’t need or want my money to improve your financial station.
- You don’t need me as a free psychiatrist to “heal your trauma”
- You don’t need me as a free nurse to take care of you due to your poor lifestyle choices
- You don’t need me as a free housekeeper because you can’t do basic adult tasks like cooking, cleaning, budgeting, meal planning, doing the laundry, and taking care of your health.
- You’re a provider and protector

If my life is easier, I easily fall in love with the guy. If my life becomes more difficult (“struggle love”), I easily dislike the guy, and I tell him to take a hike.

All comments from YouTube:

@therealmanifestelle

22w↑42

Thank you to Ritual for Sponsoring this video. Get 40% OFF your first month Go to https://ritual.com/manifestelle40

@autumnossevorth4270

22w↑1K

Elle isn’t pregnant but she always delivers 🙏🥰

@therealmanifestelle

22w↑138

🫶🏽🫶🏽🥹

@dejachaniah

22w↑12

AHHHHHH YES

@NotThatDeep

22w↑12

Bada pah! 😂

@JOYsmr

22w↑6

😂😂😂😂😂

@spacebar9733

22w↑6

GIRLLLLL LMAO 😭

12 More Replies...

@C.C.369

22w↑806

"If you love a man who's making you suffer, that's NOT love!"

Period, queen sister!

@a.b.2405

21w↑4

Why didn’t someone tell me this years ago…

@C.C.369

21w↑2

I know sis! I too learned the hard way. - But whatever. Now we know! So let's get that bag! 😉✨

@a.b.2405

21w↑2

@@C.C.369 yup, learned the hard way! Now that we know better, we can do better! Get that bag, bestie! 💅

@iris_b

22w↑309

Men date for sex, so women dating for lifestyle seems very reasonable to me 💅🏼

@perryskyephoenix

22w↑11

Yes! ❤

@CC-br9qg

22w↑4

agree

@nalbinalbii888

21w↑1

those seem kinda like two different sides of the spectrum tho, dating for lifestyle is sustainable and thinking in the long run while sex is.... sex

@novanoire93

22w↑534

They tell you to date for love with beings that aren't even capable of love. The amount of people that think that stress, trauma and pain is love is ridiculous. Men love what they invest in.

@moonlightsky4840

22w↑29

The first sentence !!! THIS !!!! Manipulation we go through.

@CC-br9qg

22w↑7

this is so true. wow

@Alixir1228

22w↑5

This hurts to read... but you're right.

@salsipuedes8425

22w↑9

Men aren’t capable of love

9 More Replies...

@085665372

22w↑277

I recently had a revelation that to be in a relationship with a man that keeps hurting you is actually a form of self-harm.

So this is spot on. I hate trauma bonding.

@Lafemmefutile

22w↑2

Absolutely- people don’t think of it that way - it repeats trauma and it also impacts the others who watch you go through this trauma over and over again. We have made psychological trauma the default; we end up emotionally drained and raw. Our mental health is precious.

@nickyroseroshini

21w

What do you do however when that harmful relationship is with your brother? I've been trying to move out for the longest time and Godwilling I will soon, but my God, some days I honestly don't know why he was put on this earth in the condition he is in. His narcissism forces me to literally live numbly and against myself everyday.

@marystellarosetarot5700

22w↑407

"We date for lifestyle, not love, so we can experience the fullness of love." YES thank you bestie ❤❤❤

@thebadstation8416

22w↑3

Just know that are wanting a top 5% man. Most women wanting a 5% man sounds like sharing is going on.

@weshouser821

22w↑4

That shit doesn't make any sense it's just an easy way to say that "I'm a gold digger and I don't care anymore" that's like me saying that "I date for easy pussy". If you date for "lifestyle" you are a leech who is just feeding off of a man, why not try to build a family maybe? I'm pretty sure that was the original goal of dating, what you are saying is that you want something but you don't want to work for it in any way shape or form you just want him to provide it for you and then you want to act like you are important to the relationship but you don't actually provide anything to it you just think you are special for some reason and deserve it. Thats called being "entitled".

@mpGreen03

22w↑10

@@weshouser821 It's not about leeching, it's about going for guys who are compatible with lifestyle you have or want to have (currently are building on).

1 More Replies...

@atlegangbotlhale1483

22w↑380

I love you sm and I'm 17. The spoiled girlie support group has helped me set standards and expectations at a young age and I'm grateful to have this youtube community. I don't have a sister , ur like a sister from another mother to me.❤

@klwood5109

22w↑81

I'm 38... I wish I could have been as lucky as you to have this kind of advice at 17. Your dating future looks bright.

@smeef2757

22w↑45

Hey spoiled girlies, age does not matter, for the lessons we learn together will last a lifetime ❤

@oneshotsojupls

22w↑12

I'm 17 tooo

@alisonmercer5946

22w↑18

I think young people should listen to her because she is wise . And just right about it all

@user-fc2tn2eb5z

22w↑7

I wish i had this at 17

1 More Replies...

@katehudson6490

22w↑180

Dating and marrying for lifestyle is one of the highest form of self care and self love.

@olivegoddess1

22w↑10

…which is what attracts the highest form of love and care in a partner.

@noahraab2429

22w↑3

I‘m getting Mein Kampf vibes in this comment section

@ll-cz8oh

21w

@@noahraab2429wealth is a mostly controllable asset.. not the same at all weirdo

@noahraab2429

21w

@@ll-cz8oh Your answer is more insane than my joke

1 More Replies...

@honey-dn4hh

22w↑81

This became easy for me when I redefined love for my personal standards. Love is when a man takes care of me. Love is when a man invests in me. Love is when a man is eager to make my life easier. Love is when a man is emotionally available and loyal. Absolutely no settling.

@larryshipper8070

21w↑2

Wow, I LOVEEE this, the fact that we can redefine it as it fulfill us the most, and we can apply it to other things! Thanks so much ❤👏🏼👏🏼

@theranaliz

22w↑228

in Islam it’s a literal sin for your husband to not provide for you. The Quran states a wife’s money is her money and a Husband’s money is the family’s money 💗

@aimisofia8195

22w↑31

Forreal! I've been seeing how this channel has beliefs align with what's said in the Quran!

@theranaliz

22w↑28

@@aimisofia8195 I noticed that too and many of other soft/spoiled girl content. If the west would remove the"Muslim women are oppressed” stigma they would quickly realize that the "oppression" is actually protection and I think the modesty of it is and the small number of unfortunate events is what makes them think it’s oppressive

@Charlotte-ro9pf

22w↑34

My family is Chinese and we do things the same way 💗It's common practice that the woman/wife's money is her own money, and she also manages the husband's earnings for the family. Even when she has her own career, the husband is still always the provider and protector! Such a breath of fresh air unlike much of society nowadays that wants women to go out of their way to be as "strong" as a man while doing 50/50 relationships (or even being the full provider!!!) which is truly sinful 🥶

@CC-br9qg

22w↑3

love this

@ruka939

22w↑11

@@ElizabethUkehyeah I don't know what part of Africa you have been living in but it's not in black africa. Whether its west Africa southern Africa central or Eastish like Kenya and co. The black men always trying to get women to help with the bills and guilting and bullying if she doesn't

6 More Replies...

@sunbeam3658

22w↑187

when i first heard "marry for money, stay for love" i was offended but now it just seems like the most thing all women should know. you can love anyone... I would want my daughter to do this, i wouldnt want her to struggle <3 like you said in another video "We owe it to our children to be gold diggers!"

@TheVgasm

22w↑26

My great gran used to sat "its as easy to marry a rich man as a poor one" and "better to be an old man's darling, than a young man's slave"

@catcat9582

22w↑4

I really can't love anyone

@darcymay108

22w↑2

I disagree that you can love anyone.

@annaleview5235

21w

All the picks me always get offended

@Nat0528

22w↑88

As a 41 year old woman!!! I love your message, delivery and strength to speak the truth! And nothing but the truth! 🗣️ Get that bagggggg bestie!!!

@perryskyephoenix

22w↑4

I'm 59... and I agree! ❤

@salsipuedes8425

22w

It is true that is harder for a woman to date after 30? Honest question not trying to be rude

@perryskyephoenix

22w↑1

@salsipuedes8425 Nowadays the dating game is a shitshow, irregardless of age. Personally, I have no problem attracting men of all ages.

@LUCKYME_888

22w↑1

@nat0528 you look great for you’re age😍and I’m a woman . I turned 29 on November 7 🥳☺️

@Nat0528

22w

@@LUCKYME_888 Thank you-) Happy belated birthday 🥳

@t.f.6297

22w↑194

This is exactly my mindset. I am not dating for love, I am filled with love. If I ever marry again it will be because it will improve my lifestyle and he financially invests in me, my life and business. I love men for what they can do for me, because they are the doers and they love giving to me 😊❤

@naomee777

22w↑7

Powerful ❤❤❤

@yeaesthetics3195

22w↑1

Yes 😁❤ change the game girl

@Diimondc

22w↑15

“I am not dating for love, I am filled with love” ABSOLUTELY that right there! This is why it’s so important for us women to truly learn to love ourselves first and foremost. You won’t be begging for love from a man, that is why women end up in bad situations with men because they DON’T love themselves. When you realize you have all the love within you, you will date for the lifestyle to complement that ❤

@jennah5990

22w↑3

I’m so confused on this perspective but ok

1 More Replies...

@TheLunablackheart

22w↑113

"You are allowed to play life on easy mode." Love this so much.

@che4840

22w↑83

This Date for Lifestyle episode makes sense. I noticed that a lot of people who were interested in me while I was single were mentally unattractive and undesirable to me because they just didn’t have the values I valued; couldnt communicate at the same intelligible level I did; didn’t seem to have a path in life they were proud of. They were destitute in their soul and spirit and just looking for someone to fill the emptiness in their life.

My father lacked purpose in his life despite the purposefulness my mother radiated with. She was a go getter. We wouldn’t have a lot off the things and opportunities we did without her. When he got older and thought his purpose was freedom, he left the kids and family to have a gf…who later burdened him with family and kids again—a responsibility he ran away from. I wish my mom found or finds someone with her same dreams and purpose.

This episode is also interesting. It made me think of how tribal women wouldn’t think of marrying for ‘love’—lets call in arbitrary infatuation—it would be unthinkable. It’s the same as marrying for debt versus marrying to build assets. The contemporary world has progressed to the point where people don’t even think about their survivability anymore.

@lafemmegentille

22w↑10

So much to glean from this comment, thank you 🙏🏾

@Grace-jb7me

22w↑13

Amen to this comment. Marriage has always been about a strategic partnership. Not just I like hanging around you. I’m called crazy for believing not marrying for “love”. Whatever that means.

@z.k.7330

22w↑5

@@Grace-jb7me There has to be love involed, for me at least, but if the values/commitment/long-term plans and stable finances are not there I`m out. I wouldn`t marry out of pure love either, there`s gonna be a LOT of evaluation going on prior to me walking down the aisle.

@Lafemmefutile

22w↑1

You write very well. And I’m sorry your father is a directionless man. I’m 40 and single and I always had in my mind that I could be the best #2 to a great #1 - your mother was the purpose and vision so #1 in your family.

@rikawrites7104

22w↑3

aaaa yes i love your comment, i actually felt like somethings wrong w me when i saw all my friends falling in love in college, while me not finding anyone attractive (even if i did, it faded off pretty quick), when my friends asked me what kind of boys i liked, i just said someone who studies hard and my friends were so disappointed lmao. NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE. i said that bcoz i thought knowledge/degree=money=a great lifestyle. moreover I have high standards for me (i work really hard and am pretty ambitious too!) so i naturally have high standards for my partner tooo AND I WOULDNT SACRIFICE A GOOD LIFESTYLE just for experiencing a short romance!

@Aqua23-ammg

22w↑32

Phrases I finally no longer parrot, listen to and accept:
"Relationships are hard work."
"Marriage is constant work and compromise."
"You have to work hard / xyz requires hard work and discipline and sacrifice...!"

No. I´m done. I worked my @$$ off in all aspects of life for 4 decades (school, competitive sports, jobs, finances, looks and weight loss, relationships, marriage, child rearing). I have had enough of "hard work", suffering and sacrificing and struggling. Nobody and nothing is getting hard work out of me anymore.
Now, if it isn´t easy and breezy, if it doesn´t work out immediately and effortlessly, and if I´m not getting far more out of a situation or person than I have to put in, then I walk.

@josephineedward8233

22w↑1

Amen 🙏🏾

@Myatheroses

22w↑1

Ya a lot of jaded women and men who worked way too hard at shitty jobs for so long to finally “ earn their keep” get annoyed at me for expecting the same money for doing things I actually enjoy and am good at. Like just cause you were foolish and didn’t listen to your heart, don’t punish me for wanting to listen to mine. Truth is we should not have to abuse our bodies just to earn our keep in this world, that sounds just like being in an abusive relationship if you ask me

@lorettaknoelk3475

22w↑71

Let me tell you, I LOVED this video. My favorite thing that you said "I give you permission to live life on easy mode "

@sierrasurreal

22w↑92

Don’t come for Disney! The men in those movies were hunks. 😂Cinderella is the perfect example of woman who was feminine and virtuous marrying a man who could love her and provide.

@shinyflower.

22w↑3

You have a point. Now I have different perspective to Cinderella

@letyv9071

22w↑12

Girlie saw a way to escape abuse and live a life of a literal princess in a kingdom that wouldn’t bring her harm and she ran with it! As she should!

@AyaEgbuho

22w↑72

Acts of service and direct deposits are the only love language for women everywhere. Eliminate words from your love language and you will separate the wheat from the chaff. Life becomes so much easier. Bonus tip: stop texting with men. Period. Stop phone conversations beyond 20 minutes. And what's left? What he actually does! What he actually gives! And how much he really wants to be with you. Your eyes will clear. ❤

@lambousginiguccigod2007

21w↑1

Question do you still enjoy that individuals company beyond the things that he gives you? Like more importantly his character, ambitions, Romance etc?

I understand that nobody wants to struggle within a relationship but to say him giving you things is the only form of love language that matters is extremely cold and calculating. 20 minutes can’t be too long a call when you want to spend your life with someone can it?

@delilah007

22w↑86

You never disappoint with these big sister advices . Thank you Elle ! ❤

@therealmanifestelle

22w↑5

Thank you bestie 🫶🏽

@rukiv3701

22w↑46

I used to have struggle love one after another. So much stress and anxiety trying to make it work. And then one day I realized , that just because I can endure stress doesn't mean I should!!

@hannahbunny2773

22w↑75

Elle I love you. I really want a rich lifestyle and I genuinely don’t think the guy I’m dating can do that for me. I’m studying to be an engineer, I have the education and career.
He’s not showing up the way I need. Words are sweet but actions are nonexistent hahahah.

Trauma bond huh?

@minka5738

22w↑28

Break up with him and engineers get paid well! If you want to attract a rich man take care of yourself not that guy. Just my advice

@z.k.7330

22w↑12

I don`t think a - rich - lifestyle should necesarily be your only goal, I think people need balance and going only for the money won`t make u happy long-term.
BUT engineers get paid very well and you`re one of the few girls in your cohort I suppose. Should be easy to get a guy. Engineers are much more reliable than e.g. investment bankers or doctors. They also work a bit less than those. Don`t give a sh1t abt words and just observe his actions. If he does not take you out, isn`t a clean guy, no clear career goals/proper education - LEAVE and don`t look back.

10 More Replies...

@reallifetopicsrevealed7295

22w↑18

As someone that learned this lesson the hard way, I just want to say thank you. Women have been programmed to do more while accepting less. Not anymore, now that women are putting themselves first!💃 New subbe here.

@xxxlegend6810

22w↑20

I’m glad people are finally talking about this, don’t date/marry for love or potential, do it for the money and lifestyle.

@ellenjdavis

22w↑81

Ugh this is so true!! Also marry for the lifestyle you want, marriage is the lifestyle you choose, so choose wisely.

I'm also so sick of the "sacrificial" mindset some girlies love keeping, that if you choose a lesser man, your relationship will somehow be more stable... ex: going for the ugly broke dudes thinking you have fewer competition, therefore a more "stable" relationship...". It doesn't work that way girl!

You'll never see men settling for the lesser girls. They either feel too out of their league to take action toward someone great, or they go for it.
The same scenario fits for applying for jobs. Most girls would downplay what they're good at while most guys would go for whatever they may get, whether they fit the descriptions or not.

@Remember_the_Time

22w↑8

Thank 👏🏾 you 👏🏾!!!
I wish people would stop acting like being with a man that is broke or ugly is going to provide a more stable relationship. Those with nothing to lose are the most dangerous.
People act like rich men/handsome men will treat you bad, but the truth is that people are people. Some handsome and rich men will be bad, just like some ugly and broke men will be bad.

@z.k.7330

22w↑10

I think it`s more abt what you prioritize and would want in a husband. I surely do not like rich-rich people, most of them are hyper self-absorbed and cannot handle a normal conversation.
I`d say know yourself, know your priorities and date with intent. Don`t date just to be taken, if he`s no good rather invest that time in getting some certificate which you can splosh on your CV and raise ur salary.
Sacrificial mindset is hell. But dating rich boys for the lifestyle is hell as well, esp if you have morals and are down to earth. Most hyper loaded people didn`t get loaded just cuz they`re super smart and work hard...let`s not forget that.

@ellenjdavis

22w↑4

@@Remember_the_Time THIS.
I've seen some of my besties stay with men who aren't even good to them, but refused to break up thinking "oh but he's not like other guys, he's more practical, so what if he doesn't buy me dinner on my birthday?" Girl, I as your bestie even buy you dinner, buy you a present and planned an event on your birthday!!
Truth is, if they're not good to you, there's really no point.
Why stay in a relationship always making excuses for these men who barely delivers anything at all?

@Alixir1228

22w↑3

And I can tell you, the ones that aren't all that cute still cheat.

2 More Replies...

@ThePsychicClarinetist

22w↑60

Hi Elle! I found you about 2 weeks ago during a low point and your videos have changed my life. I've been single for a couple years and in college for 5 and a half, trying to foster my best future life for myself. Despite doing my best, I still keep falling behind, I'm still burnt out, and my mental health and self-worth still suffers. Through your videos, I learned another way in which I've been devaluing myself, my work, and stretching myself too thin trying to keep up with the male model of perfection in my field. I am a recovering no nuance nelly/pickmeisha and I make sure to sit up front. You only say facts, thank you for helping me and so many others recover from the brainwashing of 2010's Girlboss Feminism. It was so ingrained, I didn't realize how I was sabotaging myself and how ignorant I was, and I think others may be in the same headspace. You're truly a gift, and so is the Spoiled Girly Podcast. 🧡

@C.C.369

22w↑55

@tanvi.ra.1480

22w↑19

"We date for lifestyle, not love.
so we can experience the fullness of love
It's a manifestation of self love coz u only allow things, people & situations that love u back " 💕

@divorceguru

22w↑20

You just keep bringing it with every video! I'm an old married lady whose dating days are behind me and I still love watching your videos. It gives me so much hope for the next generation and I am here cheering all of you on. Thank you for spreading the word. I often get asked what I think the biggest issue is with marriage these days and why so many people are getting divorced and usually my answer is because people marry for love and that always shocks people but it's true.

@spiritualfighter

22w

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@nadineliavaa595

22w↑15

Elle doesn’t drive for Pizza Hut but she always delivers

@whotaopotter

22w↑22

Girl I don’t think you understand how big of a positive impact you have on the girlies. ❤ Keep up the good work. We love and support you queen! ☺️

@saharkhalili5303

22w↑13

I learnt this when I was staying in incompatible relationships due to "love", when I really craved a LIFE

@libs5382

22w↑5

I’m 31 now, watching your videos have changed my life. Remaining in my feminine energy, has made me attract people into my life that are giving me princess treatment. From family to friends dating etc

I’m happier 😊

Elle you look beautiful ❤

Thank you x

@user-wl8mn7mh9o

22w↑6

You are literally getting better and better with every video. I think this was your best yet and as a 28 year old with way more experience with BBMLEM and now in my sprinkle sprinkle era... Everything you said is true. Keep it up! xxx

@jordanbrown3887

22w↑4

This is single-handedly the best dating advice on the internet right now. I think my mother has been happily married for almost 27 years because she married for lifestyle, which gave her love and gave me a great loving home <3

@clara4942

22w↑9

I love how empowering these videos are. This is how I’ve always felt and the last ten years of relationship and career advice felt maddening. Sitting in my spoilt girlie energy is the best.

@coolstuff1737

22w↑22

"How can you love someone who's actions don't love you back?" THIS.

@fluentinoverthinking

22w↑24

This is true. I don’t want to date men who doesn’t have any hobbies/trips etc and want me to be their only source of entertainment. Too much pressure . I don’t mind make a man’s life better but please don’t place all stakes on me, otherwise I would want to run away😅

@AretiFani

22w↑18

I never thought that in the process of struggling as a woman to be successful in society beneath the surface it's the patriarchal motivation.

@mpho5664

22w↑7

"The reason we date for lifestyle and not love is because we love ourselves enough to do that." Nothing but facts, You are impacting generations by speaking into womens lives. Lovee being apart of the Spoilt girlie support group!!!

@TheSoldiergirl

22w↑26

My favorite queen on the internet. Always spitting nothing but facts

@tanvi.ra.1480

22w↑7

"You are allowed to play life on easy mode " 🌸💮
I really needed to hear that 🙏

@NiaUnbecoming

22w↑7

OMG is this Elle’s first sponsor? I’m not sure, but I’m so glad she’s now getting sponsors! You deserve it, love. ❤️ Go, get that bagggg. 💅

@claudia4578

22w↑4

Dating for love is also dating for compatibility. Do not date a long-term incompatible person.

@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living

22w↑5

@altly317

22w↑20

She definitely makes sense. Like how can somebody not comprehend this?

@hongandy

22w↑16

I see this as an official sign of the goddesses to enter my venus and lover girl era.

@Myatheroses

22w

Yaas girl

@kamalashila3549

22w↑7

It's not wrong to date for love. But you need to have high standards in love. What's bad is having low standards for love, not necessarily dating for love per se. I don't want to date just for lifestyle & wealth either. Both love & high standards for the tangible (wealth & lifestyle) & intangible qualities are a must.

@sissi6013

22w↑1

I think you should rewatch the video.

1 More Replies...

@basicinfo2022

22w↑12

15:40 you can grow in love when you marry for lifestyle. You end up with both because he earns your love. Win win.

@karthiacreates

22w↑17

The men lifestyle does become the woman’s lifestyle especially if she wants to have kids. Choose wisely girlies 💕

“Whatever his lifestyle is, whatever his belief system is, it will be yours too” 🎉

@jobunny919

22w↑40

Males date and marry for the free labor women provide. SO why not?

@chelseywithers4008

22w↑5

Congrats on 100k! I saw it the other day and you're already on 101k. Keep revolutionizing and speaking the truth!

@allisont

22w↑3

If I had a daughter then I'd tell her to listen to you. Wish I heard your advice 20 years ago lmao but I'm finally learning to be a spoiled girlie when I'm almost 40 yo

@jaimiejin7992

22w↑3

Thank you so much for saying that and this is exactly how I feel. I have a friend that kept telling me that it is love that matters, not money, but from my own experience I learned the hard way. Dating for love is a deceptive message as in the long run there is no love without a match of lifestyle. Because it's human nature - if the man can't provide the lifestyle the woman won't respect him and the man can't feel proud of himself.

@agnichemicaloid

22w↑2

i wanna sincerely thank you for your content. i'm well educated on philosophy and psychology hence i can appreciate how much value you're contributing to us women with those vids. creating new traumaless ways of being will benefit not only us but also generations after us. let's change the game besties!!

@tickelyboo

22w↑13

Dropping gems per usual. Hitting that like button with my spoiled girlie manicure 💅🏽 ❤❤❤

@yoongoboongo231

21w↑2

sometimes i wonder why i've never been in a relationship. i used to feel a lot of insecurity, asking myself questions that assumed i was the problem. i really like this video. when i look at myself and consider all that i've done in my life so far, i realize have very big dreams and clear goals that i've worked so hard to make into my reality. my future partner will have to match my lifestyle in order to make me happy, and i'm glad that the universe has made sure no one not up to my standards has ever swayed me. thank you for this video :)

@larryshipper8070

21w

Elle as always your content is pure gold, thank you bestie 👏🏼🔥🔥 plus congrats so much on getting sponsored and the growth of your channel!! ❤👏🏼👏🏼

@czzzzz23

22w↑16

I travel a lot for work (which I love and plan to do forever) and I fell in love with an SO who has traveled the entire globe before we met. We were also both independently committed to the child free lifestyle before meeting! I consider myself agender, as a female person, and your content speaks to the reality of being socialized as a girl (I grew up in an overly conservative environment) while also inspiring my own masculine side to be strong and not selfish!

@dionnecelinpaul

22w

aww, this is so nice❤

@commandery3574

22w↑12

I'ma be honest, i'm going to hear you out, but today I had to turn down a 67 year old man that was offering me practically the world. I'm 25. Why? Because he is 42 years older than me, and he's been pretty controlling in the past. I struggled to let go of it for so long specifically due to this messaging that we should be dating for lifestyle and not love. like i said, i'm going to hear you out and if my opinion is changed, i'll edit this comment.

@magikarp308

22w↑11

my parents wedded for love . 25 years going strong and still in the honeymoon phase They got married in the slums after being bffs for a few years and managed to move up together to living comfortably despite my father becoming disabled . go after WHAT YOU WANT . Not what others tell you you should want. There is not one single way to live your life well .and not one single way to get there.

@rf-uj5sc

22w↑11

67 is way too old. Age gap should be no more than 15 years even if you care about lifestyle a lot.

@Myatheroses

22w↑2

I mean, you’re right to trust your gut, a guy that old is basically going to groom you at your age. That’s a huge gap

@mystical_enchantress

22w↑2

I wish that I could like this video 1000+ times!!! This info is so valuable for women of all ages! Listen up ladies!! Elle goes hard with the facts in this video!!!

@bettyeboop2942

22w↑1

I got married for love and it was one of the worst mistakes I ever made. Marry for lifestyle, don't make my mistake.

@love-risa

22w↑1

Thanks, a lot of this & other ones have helped me realize my own things to work on when it comes to dating ❤ I wasn’t dating my first and previous boyfriend (the same person) for lifestyle and the love part too also wasn’t true enough, I just let myself give in to external pressure. I notice I adopted some of his lifestyle and my past unhealthy habits or lack of healthy ones too when we were dating, so I’m happy I am single and am doing much better now. Thank you again ☺️

@Yourrrr

22w↑12

shes speaking truth girlies, take NOTES!!!

@marianmorales5816

22w↑2

Your words of wisdom have opened up my eyes to a world of new experiences and self love. I hope you continue delivering your message 💕 From a recovering pickmeisha

@starlightdust2469

22w

Thank you for sharing, most people are so confused about everything, even dating. Ex. Women wanting luxury dating broke men then wondering why they feel miserable or not "feeling like the main character", I feel like so much common sense is lacking nowadays and your channel helps a lot in people regaining it.

@kpophoe

21w

Girl idk why I haven't heard of you before,you just got yourself a new fan, I'm resonating with everything your saying, straight facts no cap, I've never understood why more people don't think this way, u put my thoughts into a cohesive video lol keep doing ehat your doing!

@anotherzaynlove

22w↑4

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now, we’ve lived together for half a year. What attracted me to him is the fact that we have the same vision and view on life, the same goals. He has ambition and one of his biggest goals is the same as mine. The this is that he definitely has some avoident attachement, and when I voice something I don’t like he just get in this flight or fight response. He is aware of it and recently started an online course to improve this. But it’s hard. I wonder if I should stay or not. I am really happy with him the majority of the time

@catcat9582

22w

Avoidant attachment is running from relationships when activated by love or closeness. He is probaly conflict avoidant or passive.

If you are not happy walking away will often make them change

@catcat9582

22w

What is his fight or flight response like?

@d.stephanierodriguezmartin6372

22w

Hi, I decided that I am not going to marry. I'm studying college and I am planning to have a life without kids.
What you said it's truth. It took me years to have that knowledge. I am so glad that you brought it up.❤❤❤

@minka5738

22w↑11

You are opening my eyes women are so conditioned now to not do what makes them happy💔

@LordAlpaca555

22w

This video unlocked me. If you date someone that make you suffer, that’s not love.

@goldenhourss

22w↑2

i’m a hopeless romantic but as years went by.. the guys I met were one worse than the other. At this point I might just settle for someone who provides for me financially.

@isaa8521

22w

I met a really good man who I love, but if I hadn’t met him I would have definitely been dating around! I loved dating when I was single! It was fun af!

@Lily-ig1rt

21w↑2

I met the genuine love of my life and guess what? it wasn't love at first sight for me. I remember thinking "you know what? he's a good guy. the rest will come later." yes, I wasn't head over heels from the start. but he was smart, on a road to success, healthy, came from a good family, wanted to settle down and take care of me, and he WANTED ME. there was no chase. there was no drama. there were no ifs, ands, or buts. it was, and still is, genuinely easy. I grew to love him and I'm glad I took the time to do that, because we're both living our dream lives right now. I will never go back to the struggle bus with men who emotionally tormented me just for the sake of "passion". fuck that shit. I want stability with a person who wants the same from me. period.

@user-hk6lg4eb3o

22w↑2

Struggling with this rn. Been with my man almost three years and I hate this lifestyle. He has no interest in my goals but doesn't want me to do anything without him. So over it.

@oluwashinaomisanya7487

22w

I’m so glad to have this. Cause that Disney fall in love mind/ lattice at first sight bs really is rooted in me and Im doing the work to get rid of it.

@law11school11girly

22w↑7

So true about sharing vision for shared relationships… Your makeup looks fab as always

@Myatheroses

22w↑1

Instead of fighting the patriarchy to not confine us to being degraded in our homes, we fought to join them by confining ourselves to their degraded in their workplaces. What we should have done is fought them by not participating in being confined by them in any way and teaching them to be more like women

@thefoxontheroad876

22w↑5

I don't even know a man who has the lifestyle I already have. I think I have it better than any male I know.

@itsceza

22w↑18

theres a saying in french: "vivre d'amour et d'eau fraîche" which means "we will live off of Love, and fresh water" is all a man could offer a woman in the past....... idk i think we are past that, we need more yes we do, wake up girls!!

@DinaStrange

22w↑17

I am so happy for your presence on youtube. I really want women to raise their standards.

@tiffanyratsavong6633

22w

this is so real and a lot of girls need to realize this

@user-iz4tg4fz8b

21w

Literally am with my current whose an heir and doesn't need to struggle with money and has purpose even with that safety net. Makes life so much easier, and I've told him a part of him that makes him attractive to me is his money, he doesn't care because he gets to have me. A man that actually wants you WANTS to cherish and put gifts all over you and ask you want you want in life so they can stay with you. It's amazing, because it is literally love to be taken cared of

@pigglys1556

22w↑10

I want to change your message a bit, like this: "You date for love. Love towards the other person and yourself." Yes, you love them, but you also love yourself. If you ever have to choose between them and yourself, I hope you make the best decision.

@sunbeam3658

22w↑26

if you cant see the marilyn monroe quote in the thumbnail its one of my favorites, "if a girls spending all of her time worrying about the money she doesnt have, how is she going to have anytime for being in love?"

@vanessaprincesssa

21w↑1

I’ve always found the idea of dating for “love” that is specifically geared ONLY towards women to be absolutely RIDICULOUS. Especially since “Love” is not some fixed concept and is different in the eyes of every single person.

The problem I had when I came to this realisation was: “Ok, don’t date for love, but date for what then? Money? Beauty?” None of these answers seemed to fit.

And then your video came on my feed. And suddenly everything clicked - like OF COURSE date for lifestyle, how didn’t I think of this before, of course you will grow to love a man and he will grow to love you when you have shared values, goals and way of living! Thank you, Elle! ❤ I needed the reminder! ❤

@namari9307

22w↑9

Elle congrats with the sponsorship in your video 💖💖💖

@meganoreo1839

22w

Congrats on getting a sponsor~ love to see this channel growing

@independentballerina

22w↑3

I thank Ritual too because this video was so important!! Thanks for supporting her to create this content

@aidad.2731

22w↑2

Taking notes 📝 Girl I do agréé with every single word that comes out from your mouth 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️

@emiliarose5817

21w

Wait so I know it wasn’t mentioned but because Taylor is in the thumbnail it’s making me think of why Travis and Taylor work so well. They share the same lifestyle! They’re both at the top of their game and are comfortable sharing the limelight and supportive of each other’s careers. Taylor and Joe might have been in love, but Joe most definitely did not share the same desire for her lifestyle or ability to reach her level of success. This video helps me to see how he was bringing her down. In the end, Joe couldn’t love all of Taylor because he didn’t support and align with the lifestyle she wanted for herself. I think this example might help people to understand how the concept can work in a real (ish) world scenario!

@ken_nomz

21w

girl you're always spitting facts!! SAY IT LOUDER

@rizzel15

22w↑2

Im a lesbian but i still needed this. Thank you

@SadBugs0

22w↑2

Dude you’ve been on your post game love to see it im a delivery driver love listening to these on the road <3

@manifest2203

22w

Only when the basics are covered can love flourish.

@viviantejada

21w

this girl is hillariously sincere. i love it

@amyzee4019

22w↑2

That was really interesting perspective, thank you. So many thoughts I've had on recent years summarized and new knowledge noted ✅️ 👌

@dancingbymoonlt

21w

Loved a man who had no purpose for 8 years and he drained me to the point of exhaustion and threw me away when he couldn’t get anything else from me.

@coldtea9250

21w

I love everything you say. But damn, believing that this man, who is a good man, who fits my lifestyle, who is single, who is not a cheater... It's hard ngl. It's my biggest struggle in this spoiled girlie path

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