All Kinds of Kinds
Miranda Lambert Lyrics

Ilsa was an acrobat who went and fell in love with that
Ilsa, who was an acrobat, fell in love with a human cannonball named Horatio

Horatio the human cannonball
Horatio was an actual human being who was shot out of cannons at the circus

A wedding 'neath the big top tent with barkers clowns and elephants
The circus performers got married under the big tent while people were buying tickets and barkers were calling out to attract customers. There were clowns and elephants around.

Sideshow family oddities and all
During the wedding, all of the performers and outcasts associated with the circus were included

The dog faced boy howled out with joy
The boy with a dog-like face was ecstatic

As the tattooed lady was crying
At the wedding, the tattooed lady was crying for reasons unknown.

Ever since the beginning to keep the world spinning
Since the beginning of time, diversity has been necessary to keep the world going.

It takes all kinds of kinds
It takes a wide range of different types of people to keep society functioning.

Thomas was a congressman with closets full of skeletons
Thomas was a congressman with secrets and scandals that he was trying to hide

And dresses that he wore on Friday nights
Thomas had a secret cross-dressing habit that he indulged on Fridays.

Phyllis was a pharmacist, a dab of that, a pinch of this
Phyllis was a pharmacist who made custom prescription drugs by combining different medicines together in specific amounts.

Concocted to suppress her appetite
Many of the custom drugs Phyllis made were used to curb people's hunger and aid in weight loss.

When the children were fiddlin' she'd slip 'em some Ritalin
Phyllis would give children Ritalin to keep them calm and focused when they were being energetic or having trouble paying attention.

And wait for Thomasina to arrive
Phyllis was secretly involved in a romantic relationship with another woman named Thomasina.

When I play this old guitar from children's shows to smoky bars
The singer is reminiscing about playing music at various events, from child-friendly shows to bars filled with smoke and adult patrons.

I take a break and think about the past
During a performance, the singer takes a moment to reflect on their personal history

When I stood up in geometry and everybody stared at me
The singer remembers a time in high school where they were the center of attention in a geometry class

And I tossed my test into the trash
Feeling embarrassed or frustrated, the singer discarded their exam instead of handing it in.

I scratched off my number while hitching out under
While running away from home, the singer scraped off their student ID number from a sign in a small town.

That bush league population sign
The sign the singer altered was most likely in a small, rural town with a low population.

But some point the finger, let ignorance linger
Some people choose to blame others and remain ignorant of the true causes of problems

If they'd look in a mirror they'd find
If people were to truly examine themselves, they would realize their own imperfections and biases.

That ever since the beginning to keep the world spinning
Diversity has been essential to society since the beginning of time

All kinds of kinds (all kinds of kinds)
Repeating the phrase emphasizes the importance of diversity in society.

All kinds of kinds (all kinds of kinds)
Repeating the phrase emphasizes the importance of diversity in society.

All kinds of kinds
Diversity in society must be recognized and embraced.